On those days, when it doesn't feel real... when nothing is tangible... when I wonder if this dream will every become a reality, I look at these photos.
There's just something about seeing your daughter's name in stone that makes it feel definite, you know?
. . . . . . . . . . .
I guess I should back up and tell you where, and how, and when we found this little star. It was January 17th - 2 days after my 31st birthday. Rusty had taken me out to the ballet (Swan Lake) at The Alabama Theatre to celebrate.
It had been a difficult week for me. You see, I announced to my closest friends that we were adopting a little girl on my 28th birthday. I always thought I would be a mom before I turned 30 (and even hoped that timeline would hold true when we began our adoption). But here I was... turning 31... and our baby still wasn't home.
The ballet was a disaster. The sound crew talked and laughed - LOUDLY - during the first two acts and ruined the show for everyone. It was supposed to be a beautiful night out, but the very thing that was meant to distract and entertain me just put me in a worse mood.
We left the theatre together feeling frustrated and sad. It was a cold night, and I was anxious to get home. We were headed in the direction of the lot where Rusty parked the car, when he gasped and pointed to the ground. I had no idea what he was pointing to, until I looked down and saw this!
Of course, I promptly burst into tears. It was like a message, just for us. Etched into stone was our baby girl's name. Not Cate Jackson... not Katie Jackson... not Catherine... KATE JACKSON. It felt so good to run my fingers across the letters. It was as if God was saying, "Don't give up! I haven't forgotten!"
It turns out, Kate Jackson was a beautiful, brunette actress in the 70's (you might know her as one of Charlie's Angels). I found out this little fact after we chose our daughter's name - thanks to my Aunt Tammy (who said she was her favorite "Angel"). What I didn't know, was that Kate Jackson was also from Birmingham, Alabama... and years after she was one of Charlie's Angels, she also became an adoptive mother. (What are the odds, right?) This star was part of the "Walk of Fame" for the Alabama Theatre. We'd just never noticed it before this night.
The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Of course I took a dozen pictures, and told Rusty we'd have to bring our daughter back to take photos with "her star" once she's home. We're just still not sure of when that day may be. And so, when it feels far away and hard to reach... I look back at these photos and pray for our little star.
We know you're out there somewhere baby girl, and we can't wait to meet you.
We're sure you're going to bring a lot of *sparkle* into our life, little star!