Unfortunately, after last night's conversation they didn't give us any hope of a match before Christmas. They told us everything slows down in December, and if it didn't happen in October or November, it won't happen now. Then they said, "maybe early next year... I really think it could be January or February! But who really knows? There's no way to know. Don't bet on any timeline." *sigh.
The vagueness and complete lack of a "finish line" is so hard on my heart. It's hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel. We have been pursuing this adoption for 46 months. All our paperwork has been in Thailand for 18 months - just waiting for a referral. We are still not matched with a child. We don't even have a photo of our daughter's face. And the wait just drags on.
I know they said not to hope for a match this month.... but I can't help but hope and pray anyway. What do we have if we don't have hope?!?
This season makes the wait very difficult. I can't even begin to express how painful it is to have an empty house at Christmas when we've been waiting to be parents for so long. How we wish every night of December that we were curled up with a little brown sugar skinned toddler in Christmas pajamas watching Christmas movies. How we imagine her brown eyes dancing beneath the twinkling lights on the tree. How I long to have a messy kitchen full of sprinkles and sugar and flour from making Christmas cookies with my daughter. How much we dream of the day we'll be putting toys beneath the tree and hearing laughter on Christmas morning. But instead, we will hang a stocking one more year, in a quiet house, for a child we've never met. The wait is hard all year, but the longing is palpable at Christmas.
So we're asking you to join us in HOPING and PRAYING for a miracle - that we'll be matched before Christmas. I know it's a long shot, and if it's not God's timing then we will trust Him and wait some more. But would you pray with us anyway? Pray that God will constantly put our family on the heart of the Thai woman matching us. Pray that our adoption agency will advocate for us and make us a priority. Pray that God will advocate for us! Pray that He will open doors and speed up vague, lengthy timelines. Pray that He will protect and prepare our daughter to come home - and that He will renew our HOPE and prepare us to be parents. Pray for Him to move mountains! We know these are big prayers, but we serve a BIG God. As our babies in Africa sing, "My God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY - there's nothing my God cannot do for you!"
Jesus, this is the season when YOU came - in an unexpected way - to bring HOPE to the hopeless. And so, this Christmas, we're asking you to come again and waiting with expectant hearts!