tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49898434519427693692024-03-12T23:43:07.762-04:00The Jacksons' JourneyEricka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.comBlogger279125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-50567766084114523992019-05-27T23:47:00.000-04:002019-05-28T01:49:34.017-04:00Remembering Sam<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This memorial day there are memories of a specific veteran on my mind, and I can't let the day end without finally sharing this story I've carried in my heart for more than 7 years. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam Waller was a cousin on my husband’s side of the family – Rusty’s grandfather’s double first cousin. (For those wondering, it means a set of brothers married a set of sisters – making their children not just first cousins, but double first cousins!) Sam grew up very close to Rusty’s grandfather, and they made many special memories together through the years.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam served in the army, in both Korea and Vietnam. We knew he was a veteran, but didn’t find out until after his death that he’d been awarded 2 bronze stars and a silver star for his acts of heroism “beyond the call of duty”. We hang an engraved silver star on our Christmas tree each year in loving memory of him. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYGiwo8FTxSP0P1FQT4hTz2p68LRLzXvgSDnUz3L1hNdSoQz60Yc08lgD6cETwMQ34qfXtYArUGnT2VOdQikwjOJcWk97mNMJncAhzvg7pw1RJHE4j5gSRQIMDVrod2vPus_1C38_ovhw/s1600/Sam%2527s+star.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1254" data-original-width="1600" height="500" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYGiwo8FTxSP0P1FQT4hTz2p68LRLzXvgSDnUz3L1hNdSoQz60Yc08lgD6cETwMQ34qfXtYArUGnT2VOdQikwjOJcWk97mNMJncAhzvg7pw1RJHE4j5gSRQIMDVrod2vPus_1C38_ovhw/s640/Sam%2527s+star.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You see… Sam was more than just a distant cousin to us. He is a man who changed our lives forever. After his time in the military, he retired to Thailand. And when we decided to move to Thailand for several months of 2011 to start a partnership there for <a href="http://www.thesoundofhope.org/">The Sound of Hope</a>, Rusty’s grandmother insisted that we look him up. She wrote him letters about us, and he was elated by the idea of us visiting. So he sent his contact info (via mail) and set up a friend to pick us up a couple of days after we arrived.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We weren’t sure what to expect. This was an 80 year old man living in Thailand, that we’d never met before… and we were nervous! But what we found was a family treasure. (Those of you who followed my blog back when we lived in Thailand, may remember the posts I shared about <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2012/02/missing-cousin-sam.html">sweet Sam</a>!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sam wept when he met us, so thrilled to be with family (even through he didn’t know us). And in the year to come – we developed the sweetest, most special relationship with him and the precious nurse who cared for him like family, Thida. (He loved you Thida! And we are forever indebted to you for the ways you loved and cared for him.) He treated us like his grandkids (which I know Rusty’s Papaw would have loved). He took us to his favorite restaurants, out for “dips” of ice cream, and fed us loads of snacks. He sat up late telling us stories about his life, his travels and about the family. He liked to spoil us and surprise us. I loved watching him laugh… and watching him pray over his food with clasped hands and tears in his eyes. He had such a tender heart.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsBzKvcZJckrg1xmmHWy02y1ld1FJC5DkUCTTzIXDFD7qyCFbBGKSGcgxlOQmP3QV6KthWFVKOju67cderU0fSKmXjoYZTjxXZOWGlzrytj05r1C4gRTGxebfuIAKhaOLrcakMngt1LLg/s1600/Sam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsBzKvcZJckrg1xmmHWy02y1ld1FJC5DkUCTTzIXDFD7qyCFbBGKSGcgxlOQmP3QV6KthWFVKOju67cderU0fSKmXjoYZTjxXZOWGlzrytj05r1C4gRTGxebfuIAKhaOLrcakMngt1LLg/s640/Sam.jpg" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We told him our family stories, and stories about our travels. He loved hearing about our work, and became extremely interested in what he could do to help the kids in our care. I will never forget the tears streaming down his face one day as he watched a video of a new roof on the boy’s dorm in the refugee camp (that had been replaced with the donation he’d given). Before that, there had been water pouring in the damaged roof. He just kept telling us, “I had no idea so little could do so much”. He was a generous soul.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We introduced Sam to CDs (which he called “tiny records”) and a USB to play his favorite music. We skyped him to stay in touch when we were back in the US, and even managed some Skype calls between him and Rusty’s grandmother (both in their 80’s) – one from Thailand with Sam, and one from Arkansas with Rusty’s MeMaw! Those were quite the scenes! While in Thailand we took Sam out to our favorite place for dinner too, and brought over birthday cake for his very last birthday on this earth. I am so glad we got to be with him to sing and have him blow out a candle that day!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="480" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/36326096" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/36326096">Happy Birthday Sam!</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We knew Sam had cancer, but we didn’t know he’d be taken so soon after we’d gotten to know him. He’d been getting treatment in Bangkok, but took a turn for the worse while we were in the States, and quickly declined. But before he would allow them to admit him into the hospital ICU, he forced his friend to stop at the bank. That night, he called to tell us he was wiring us money (from Thailand). He wanted us to give some to 3 elderly family members he loved, to help take care of them in their final years. He wanted some to be used for our Girls Home in Thailand. He wanted some to be used for the Children’s Home we were trying to build in India. And the rest, he wanted us to have to “take care of yourselves”. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In yet another act of selflessness (just like his silver and bronze stars) – he wanted to be sure others were taken care of. When he was at his weakest, and should have been taking care of himself, he was focused on everyone else – just like a true hero.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Little did Sam know, Rusty and I were praying about adopting a little girl from Thailand in those days. God had placed that specific desire into our hearts, and it was a calling we couldn’t shake. We’d told no one – not even our parents. Our greatest fear was the money. How could we fundraise for an expensive international adoption, when we were already fundraising for our nonprofit? How could we ask people to choose between giving money to adopt our child, and money to support the kids in our care? It seemed impossible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But then Sam came through with the most extraordinary gift that still feels and sounds like a fairytale. While we were praying about adopting, a “distant relative in a faraway land” gifted us the money we needed. It was wired <b>from Thailand</b> in <b>Thai Baht</b> - while we were praying about adopting <b>a little girl from Thailand</b>!!! <i>(So you can see why, when all the doors seemed closed to Thai adoption for the next year, we KNEW we were supposed to adopt from Thailand! THIS was our confirmation!) </i>Because our process lasted longer than expected we did have to raise a little extra money for travel… but ALL of our adoption fees were paid in full by sweet Sam. [*When my uncle heard the story he remarked, <i>"<b>Paid In Full</b> before you ever even needed it... isn't that just like Jesus?!"</i>]<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We got to talk to Sam one last time before he passed away. We told him we’d received the money, and that we were using it to adopt a little girl from Thailand into our family. I will never forget the emotion in his tender, frail voice as he replied, “Well, God bless you!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">God smiled on our story again, when we were matched with a little girl from the city where Sam lived in Thailand. Out of ALL of the Children’s Homes in all the cities in Thailand - Kate grew up just a few miles from the home where Sam spent his final years.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqfJE8RhpqaGYpZAoGS6JmKLrbiO94lCdYIQ6l0ZmZKy78HgIMTI_kCNkEoNrfS46K4rbqBryvC7EHVOURH7psMKw96Y0WNiZ0jhj9JRD4sWjRMqIxHfBxteQHBFEiTGgZUTnNXrlm4sM/s1600/Sam+Thailand.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1490" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqfJE8RhpqaGYpZAoGS6JmKLrbiO94lCdYIQ6l0ZmZKy78HgIMTI_kCNkEoNrfS46K4rbqBryvC7EHVOURH7psMKw96Y0WNiZ0jhj9JRD4sWjRMqIxHfBxteQHBFEiTGgZUTnNXrlm4sM/s400/Sam+Thailand.JPG" width="372" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">One of our first family photos at the Pattaya Orphanage... just a few miles from Sam's old home.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When it came time to go for our adoption, it was to a place that felt like a second home to us - thanks to Sam! We knew all the best places to stay, and eat, and shop. Our very first dinner as a family was in the same hotel restaurant where we celebrated Sam’s last birthday. Being in such a familiar space made that stressful time so much easier, but also, bittersweet. We thought of Sam often, and wish so much that he could have met Kate!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is a <a href="http://thesoundofhope.org/the-asha-mission-boys-home-video-tour/">Children’s Home</a> in India today, where 25 little boys live in safety with all their needs provided for – due in large part to Sam’s generosity. Without his donation, the land could not have been purchased. Because of him, this home exists and is changing so many little lives! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Our <a href="http://thesoundofhope.org/meet-our-girls/">Girl’s Home</a> in Thailand was able to run for 2 years because of Sam’s support. Eight sweet little girls got love and opportunities for two years, because of Sam. (And their care continues on today!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Rusty’s sweet MeMaw (a widow at the time) was able to take care of some important needs in her final years, because of Sam’s gift. And two other elderly family members were greatly blessed by him too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Photo of Rusty's Papaw and MeMaw - and Rusty's mom - when they were young.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And our beautiful daughter is HOME with us today – because of Sam. He helped give us our greatest gift… our precious Kate. I cannot even begin to imagine our lives without her!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I know Sam was a hero in the eyes of our nation – with his medals and honors for his service to our country. But Sam was even more of a hero to us. We’ve seen how his legacy of true selflessness has saved lives – on the battlefield and out in this broken world. He changed our family forever, and his generosity and love for others will be what we remember about him. And so, each Christmas, we will tell Kate about Sam as she hangs his star on the tree. And on memorial day, his memory is the one we carry in our hearts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you Sam. For your service, and your selflessness. We are all so grateful.</span><br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-84166177857114396422017-11-24T15:31:00.000-05:002017-11-25T01:47:30.580-05:00One Year Later...A year ago today, in an orphanage in Thailand, we met our beautiful daughter. After 1,748 days of waiting we finally held her in our arms, and our lives have never been the same! 💜<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>A very special family photo at the memorial for King Bhumibol Adulyadej </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>with two of Kate's beloved caregivers - P. Lam & Khun Toy!</i></span></div>
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For those who aren't familiar with our story, we decided to spend a month together in Thailand for our adoption trip - because we love our daughter's birth country, and we hoped that time together there (in a place where the language, food, and people were familiar) might help her adjust a little bit easier. We made so many beautiful memories together in those first few weeks as a family of three... and we've been waiting a whole year to share this very special video with Kate (and with all of you!) <br />
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For years now, I've known that Kate's special song would be "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLXK-C08hps">Mine to Love</a>" (by Dave Barnes). I knew it the moment I heard live for the very first time, and burst into tears in a crowded club. As I stood there with my husband, surrounded by strangers, I closed my eyes. As I listened to Dave sing these words I could see the moment I would meet my daughter, and the days to come as we took our first steps as a family. That vision (that I saw every time I heard this song in the years to come) kept me going... and now that vision has become a reality as I watched these precious moments from our life set to that perfect song (and a couple of other special songs too!) <br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/244367194" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="https://vimeo.com/244367194">To Thailand for Kate</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</i></span></div>
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To our darling girl... my goodness what a year it has been. The day we met, you were so scared, overwhelmed, and unsure... but you were also the bravest, strongest little girl we had ever seen! This year you have experienced so much. You've learned to love and trust us - even though we started out as strangers. Day by day and moment by moment, God has knit us together as a family. As we've cried together, grieved together, laughed together, celebrated together, and learned together - we have continually been amazed at how brave, strong, smart, kind, and compassionate you are. You, my darling, have the biggest heart of anyone I know. This has been a hard road for us all, but we are so proud of you. And the years of hard and heartbreaking moments were worth it all to call you mine! We thank God for the gift of YOU! You have brought so much beauty, laughter and JOY into our lives. I am so glad you're "mine to love"! We're grateful you're ours FOREVER, and we hope you'll cherish this video as much as we do.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>God has given us rainbows as a reminder of His promises </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>on some very hard days during our adoption journey. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Today however - on a completely clear day - this one was an extraordinary gift! </i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">This perfect rainbow was in the sky directly over our house </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">(like a smile from heaven!) </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I guess God is celebrating our "Family Day" in a special way too!</i></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">Mine to Love</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You might wanna close your eyes</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It’ll take some time adjustin’</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Welcome to your life</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re everything you’ll someday be</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>There’s a weight off my shoulder</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>There’s laughter in the air</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You are the answer to every midnight prayer</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>We have all been waitin’ on you</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Come into these open arms</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It took some time to wait it out</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>But I see it now, you’re worth all the dreaming of</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You might wanna take your time</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Take in all this technicolor, yeah</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>We’re on your side</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Let us be the one you need</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>There’s a life on my shoulder</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Laughter in the air</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You are the answer to all those midnight prayers</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>We have all been waitin’ on you</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Come into these open arms</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It took some time to wait it out</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>But I see it now, you’re worth all the dreaming</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Every time that my heart was broken</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Every time that I’ve lost my way</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>I forget when I look into your face</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>We have all been waitin’ on you</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>Come into these open arms</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>‘Cause I’m right here</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>It took some time to wait it out</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>But I see it now, you’re worth the dreaming of</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>You’re mine to love</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>So you might wanna close your eyes... </i>💜</span><br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-56169000093220739862017-09-12T23:51:00.000-04:002017-09-13T11:32:15.363-04:00She's ours... FOREVER!!!So many of you have followed our story throughout our long, difficult adoption process. You rejoiced with us when we were <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/04/we-are-matched.html">finally matched with our little girl</a>, and again <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/worth-wait.html">the day we met her</a>, and again <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/12/miracle-after-miracle.html">when we took custody in Thailand</a>, and then we ALL celebrated when <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/12/welcome-home-kate.html">we brought her home</a> in December! But what you probably didn't know, is that our journey was far from over that day.<br />
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Our sweet girl wasn't truly OURS yet - even after she came home. We were simply her custodial guardians. The Thai Adoption Board requires a 6 month post-placement period where you must complete medical requirements, have a social worker visit your home multiple times, and send photos and reports back to Thailand. After that you are allowed to legally finalize your adoption - but only when the court has availability (which for us, was not until September). During this period of time when our adoption was not yet final we could not share public photos of our family, our daughter retained her birth name, and our adoption agency retained the rights to our child. The paperwork we were required to sign in Thailand actually stated that our agency could "report against the adoption" and either place our child with a different family OR send her back to Thailand if they chose to. While I knew that situation was <i>highly</i> unlikely <span style="font-size: x-small;">(and that this contingency only exists to protect adopted children placed in an unhealthy/unsafe home)</span> it was a terrifying thing to have in the back of my mind all these months. To know that someone else held that power over our family was frightening. To know that we completely adored this child, and would absolutely lay our lives down for her - but she wasn't legally OURS - was an excruciating thing. And I was reminded of that reality at every doctor's appointment (when they called out her birth name, instead of "Kate Jackson").<br />
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But today friends... today EVERYTHING changed! After a chaotic few days where we thought Hurricane Irma might knock out power in Birmingham and delay our court date by 4-5 more months, we finally stood before a judge TODAY with our precious girl (and her bunny) in our arms! </div>
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After a few more hiccups that had our hearts racing (it wouldn't be our adoption case without them! Ha!) Judge Sherri Friday finally signed our Final Decree of Adoption - which made this little darling OURS <b>FOREVER</b>!!!</div>
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After all these years of hoping and praying and <b>#waitingforKate</b>, she is finally 100% <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLXK-C08hps">mine to love</a>! Once the paperwork was signed and the photos were taken with Judge Friday, I promptly burst into tears and hugged her. I'm not sure if that's proper protocol in a court room, but at that moment I didn't care! It's been <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2015/10/4-years-ago-tonight.html">almost 6 years</a> since we first felt the call to start the adoption process, and <b>today</b> Kate is finally our daughter. I still can't believe it. I keep wanting to pinch myself just in case I'm dreaming!</div>
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Even though Hurricane Irma gave us a good scare (and caused me several sleepless nights worrying about our court date being cancelled) - the "silver lining" (to the hurricane clouds) was that Irma brought my brother and sister in law to town! Jaron & Michelle had to evacuate since they live in Florida. So even though we thought my parents would be the only family close enough to attend, "Uncle Jaron & Auntie Shell" just happened to be in Alabama on the perfect day! Kate was thrilled!!! (and so were we - especially once we heard their home was left unscathed in Florida, and that all our friends - and theirs - survived the hurricane with minimal damage to their property too. We're so thankful!)<br />
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We're also thankful for our sweet friend Alison of <a href="http://www.awphotogallery.com/">Alison Wilkey Photography</a> who took these beautiful photos. It's hard for us to get pictures of our family when we're always the ones behind the camera. But Alison generously gifted us this session, and it was such a blessing to have someone else "worrying" about the photos! I loved having her there with us, and I still can't believe she got so many great shots of our wiggly girl!<br />
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Today <b>#myThaidarling</b> officially became <b>Kate Suwichada Jackson</b>. As her special adoption gift, we gave her a custom locket with a family photo inside. The inside is engraved with her Thai birthname and her Thai nickname, and the back is engraved with her new initials. We wanted something to symbolize that she will always and forever be ALL of these names. Who she was for 4 years did not disappear today. Her identity is forever linked to her birth family, the wonderful caregivers she had in the orphanage, and now to us - her forever family! We want to always honor every part of who she is and where she has come from, and we hope this gift becomes an heirloom she will cherish for years to come.<br />
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<b><i>Sweet Kate, today you are ours FOREVER. We promise to protect you, provide for you, and to do everything we can to help you accomplish your dreams! We promise to accept you no matter what you do, how you feel, or who you become. We promise to help you find ways to honor your past and embrace your present. We promise to always celebrate your birth country and culture, and to help you understand and appreciate it however we can. We promise to always have your back, and to give you every bit of support we have to give. We promise that we will always be your BIGGEST fans! But most of all, darling girl, we promise to LOVE you. Forever and ever. You are our greatest gift! </i>💜</b><br />
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-21184748192533879952017-08-24T01:00:00.000-04:002017-08-24T01:00:20.862-04:001 Second Everyday (Jan - June)Hello friends and followers! I'm so sorry I've been MIA. I promise we're still alive over here! ;) We just had a really tough 6 weeks in May and June that caused a <i><b>lot</b></i> of stress and anxiety (for us all) and some major regression for Kate. Three out of state trips (work trips for Rusty that we went along for to minimize separation), a major water leak, our car breaking down twice (and ultimately having to be replaced), plus a handful of other smaller stressors in a 6 week window was just too much for our sweet girl. July looked like a lot of time at home - all trying to recuperate, refocus, and reconnect. So needless to say, I'm behind on my blog (and everything else in my life too)! But I am happy to say that this month has been much better. Our attachment is growing in leaps and bounds, our sweet girl seems more settled, AND I have been keeping up with "notes" from each month - so you can expect a fun recap blog for month 6, 7, and 8 coming soon!<br />
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In the meantime though, I wanted to share a little project with you! At the beginning of this year, we committed to try to capture at least one second of video of our sweet girl during each day of 2017 (her first full year home). So far we've done pretty well, only missing 3 days in 6 months! And using the incredible "<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/1-second-everyday-video-diary/id587823548?mt=8">1 Second Everyday</a>" app, we've been able to merge those seconds into the sweetest little monthly videos. I'm really proud of us for keeping up with this - because I already cherish these short clips so, so much! I get all teary watching them. I love seeing how much Kate has grown and changed, and I really love hearing her sweet little voice speaking so much Thai those first few months home. I am grateful to have a happy moment from every day that we'll be able to look back on for years to come - and I can't wait to see (and share) our FULL video from the year on New Year's Eve!<br />
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For now though, friends and family with our password can view our first 6 months home with Kate in 30 second videos from January through June. Check them out below!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">JANUARY</span></b></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/229947001" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/229947001">1SE :: January</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>FEBRUARY</b></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/229947163" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/229947163">1SE :: February</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MARCH</b></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/229947639" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/229947639">1SE :: March</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>APRIL</b></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/229948553" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/229948553">1SE :: April</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>MAY</b></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/229953918" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/229953918">1SE :: May</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>JUNE</b></span></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/230876839" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/230876839">1SE :: June</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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I hope you enjoyed these as much as we have! Keep checking back in for blog updates in the weeks to come! They'll be backdated for the appropriate month, so you'll have to look behind this blog to read our updates from May, June, and July. Thanks for following along on our journey, and please continue to keep us in your prayers!<br />
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-62477138869736332892017-06-30T15:00:00.000-04:002017-11-22T19:44:39.717-05:00Seven Months in Our Arms<i>June 29th marked 7 months with our sweet Kate in our arms! Here's our 7 month #KateUpdate (written in November, but backdated to June! I'm so glad I took enough notes to remember these milestones!) </i><br />
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<b><b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>FIRSTS</u></span></b></b></div>
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We had a busy, busy month in June - full of trips and events! Our 3 out of town trips were all work trips for Rusty... but we decided that (although it would still be stressful) it would be easier on Kate to go with us than to be separated from her Papa for that many days and nights.<br />
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We started the month with a trip to Arkansas to Tutu and Pappy's house! Rusty was shooting a wedding video in Mississippi - but luckily the venue was only an hour away from his hometown. So Kate got to spend some time with her Tutu, meeting Tutu's friends, and playing with her kitty cat, Rocky! (Though I'm not sure Rocky enjoyed it as much as Kate did... just look at the shot below of our mischievous girl to see what I mean! Haha!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(For those wondering - I managed to stop her right before she stepped on his tail! But now you'll understand why this kitty decided to hide up, up, up in a tree in the video below! Poor Rocky. Kate sure does love him! She followed him everywhere.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/243789435" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="https://vimeo.com/243789435">Kate & Rocky</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</i></span></div>
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Unfortunately our trip lasted a day longer than expected when we had major car issues (including a tow and extensive repairs). It was a pretty stressful experience on Kate's first BIG trip away from home (more than one night).<br />
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To try to make the trip a little easier though, she got her first scooter (since her bike was too big to bring along). She LOVED scooting around! Within the first few minutes of having it she was already balancing incredibly well and going down ramps! She loved riding it through the halls of Tutu's school too (just one of the perks of having a Principal for a grandmother!) She also had fun playing in Tutu's office, meeting our dear friends the Flemings, and eating her first cheeseburger at Ray's! (It was the first time we heard her say "delicious" in English! Haha!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Playing in Tutu's office!</i></span></div>
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This month Kate also had her first night away from us with her Yaai and Dtah. They decided to try to keep Kate overnight in a hotel (closeby) to give us a little break. Of course we were a worried wreck all night, so it ended up not being much of a break! (We didn't expect to spend our first night away from her missing her so much and so worried about how she'd do!) She surprisingly lasted all night with them (she's SO brave!) but really struggled in the following days. It was a little too much too fast - with it coming right after her longest trip out of town.<br />
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Next up for Kate was her very first Miss Alabama Pageant week! She didn't make it to the pageant (I don't think she's quite ready for that yet) but she did come to the luncheon. I was SO excited to introduce her to my Miss Alabama family!<br />
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This group of people mean so much to me... and they have prayed for Kate for years while we worked and waited to bring her home. It was extremely special to finally hold her on stage and introduce her as my little girl! (And it was very special to have Auntie Beth there with us! After all, the Miss Alabama Pageant is what brought us together too!)</div>
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What we never expected though, was the show she put on! We actually thought she'd be afraid of the crowd (she still doesn't do well around strangers). But as soon as she saw the stage and microphone, she was ready to perform! She pushed her way over to the mic and instantly launched into a rousing rendition of Jesus Loves Me (that didn't stop - even after we pried the microphone out of her hand and put her down! Haha! 😂) But ultimately she did help me present our scholarship winner with her special rose and plaque.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/233261732" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="https://vimeo.com/233261732">The Miss Alabama Pageant meets Kate!</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</i></span></div>
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You can see the video of her introduction and her debut Miss Alabama Luncheon performance above (so cute!), but I wish I had video of what happened next - because it was the most extraordinary thing! Kate got shy as soon as the cameras came out and hid her face for the award photos. So the Miss Alabama contestants and volunteers began to sing (the whole room, together!) "Jesus Loves Me" back to Kate! The look on her face was one I won't forget (nor will I forget all those sweet voices lifted up together in an effort to put our little girl at ease!) It was incredibly touching!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>We are pictured here with the 2017 winner of our </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Miss Alabama IMPACT Award, Chandler Shields!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Kate isn't smiling because she has just joined the </i><i>crowd </i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">in singing "Jesus Loves Me" again! It was so sweet!</span></i></div>
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Next up for our little family was a trip to the beach! This was once again for work, and we had to drive down separately (which was really tough on Kate). But once we got there, we had a great time with Uncle Jaron & Auntie Shell!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">The moment she realized Uncle Jaron keeps gummy bears in his pocket!</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Swimming in the "big water" with Uncle Jaron & Auntie Shell!</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">One last pic before we left... these two spoiled Kate rotten the whole trip!</span></i></div>
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Kate LOVED the "big sand" and "big water". She remembered the quick 5 minute stop we took to the beach in Pattaya (before we had to leave for Bangkok) and asked about the "lots of boats" last time (which was the case at the beach in Thailand!) We asked her if she'd ever been to play at the beach before though, and she told us no. I guess I'd never really thought of how difficult (and dangerous) it would be to take a group of children from the orphanage to the beach. I always referred to her as my "beach baby" - but the truth is that despite being born in a beach town and spending her whole life 1.2 miles away from the beach - she'd never seen it before we adopted her! That realization is still completely shocking to me. There is so much she's never done or seen!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(You're not a Southern woman unless you have family beach photos taken all in white. Haha! We took our photography gear to the beach, and I'm so thankful my brother was willing to snap a few pics for us! The trouble with being photographers is that we're always behind the camera - and never get shots of all three of us together. But these turned out so sweet!)</span></i><br />
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During our trip Kate also saw what we believe was her first rainbow! I know there are rainbows in Thailand... but she was only outside during scheduled times each day, and I guess no one ever thought to point one out to her (if there even was one in the sky during her outdoor playtime!) The wonder in her eyes was incredible... that's another "first" I'm glad I got to witness!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://vimeo.com/243919026">Kate's 1st Beach Trip!</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>. <i>[Password protected - for friends & family only.]</i></span></div>
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She may have hated the drive down (12 hours is tough!) but Kate really loved playing at Uncle Jaron and Auntie Shell's house, chasing waves with Mama, playing in the sand, and dancing with Papa at the tiki bar we'd go to for dinner! She was pretty afraid of the ocean at first, but Uncle Jaron and Auntie Shell finally got her to go underwater on our last day! She also flew her first kite (though she lost interest after about 30 seconds) and got her first "bikini" on this trip (she's been BEGGING for a purple bikini since seeing my 2 piece swimsuit last month!) She was pretty excited about it, and hearing her say the word "bikini" had us all giggling!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Our last night at the beach... we stayed and played until it was completely dark!</span></i></div>
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We ended our beach trip with Rusty's first Father's Day with Kate home... and a stop by Ocala to see Pappy's new little Florida house (and to give him his Father's Day gifts too!) We gave Dtah his Father's Day gifts early. It wasn't a very relaxing Father's Day since it was a travel day - but it was still a special one for Rusty!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">A few of my favorite shots of our favorite "Papa" and his little girl!</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>We're so glad we were in Florida and could see Pappy on Father's Day!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>My favorite little sequence of Kate and her Dtah - they love their matching overalls!</i></span></div>
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The day after we returned from the beach I had a princess event. It's been more than a year since I've done an event as Princess Beauty, but our local Chick-Fil-A made me an offer I couldn't refuse, so I pulled my yellow dress out again! (Why yes, I will be a princess for your event if you pay me in cash <i>and</i> CFA giftcards! Haha! Guess where we'll be eating 3 times a week for the next few months?! 😉)<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo credit & copyright: <a href="http://www.rjacksonmedia.com/">RJackson Media</a></span></i></div>
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I had a wonderful time at their "Daddy Daughter Date Night", and Kate came at the end dressed up just like Mama! We got to take the last carriage ride of the evening, which was another pretty magical "first" for her too! (Video above) She loved seeing Mama as "Belle" (and being "Belle" herself too!) And she really loved the horsey, "Casanova"!<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><a href="https://vimeo.com/243786770">Princess Kate's 1st Carriage Ride</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</i></span></b></div>
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As if that wasn't enough excitement for our month, we ended June with a trip to the mountains! For those who don't know, in addition to our work with <a href="http://www.thesoundofhope.org/">The Sound of Hop</a>e, we also shoot video and photography to supplement our income. (Check out our business page here: <a href="http://rjacksonmedia.com/">RJacksonMedia.com</a>.) So the last weekend in June we headed off to Cashiers, North Carolina so Rusty could shoot another wedding.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Playing with Papa under her first waterfall!</i></span></div>
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This was another big first for Kate, as she's never been to the mountains OR seen a waterfall before! We had an amazing time exploring with her and with my parents (who came along to help us out, and to make it an even better family trip). Rusty's work schedule was more stressful this trip, but we tried to make the best of it. We even got to feed some goats! (I seriously think that was her favorite part. This baby loves any chance to be with animals!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Hiking to "Dry Falls" together! (Spoiler alert: They aren't dry!)</i></span></div>
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On the way out of town we stopped to let Kate go "gem mining"! She found some great gems, and we had one particularly beautiful amethyst cut into a necklace for her (since purple is her favorite color, and also her "birth color" in Thai culture!)</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>ATTACHMENT</u></span></b></div>
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If you're reading everything above and thinking we're crazy - then you're right. We didn't plan to put that many out of town trips into the same month... but when extra job opportunities came our way we had to take them (especially after dialing everything back for the past few months in what we'd call a modified maternity/paternity leave, because Kate needed so much attention during this difficult adjustment).<br />
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But that many trips definitely "cost" us when it came to Kate's well-being emotionally. In addition to all our trips, we ended up having to tow our car twice this month, and ultimately scrap it and buy another vehicle completely unexpectedly. (Kate and I both cried over the loss of our beloved "Pippa"... the sweet little car we brought her home from the airport in, and planned to drive for several more years!) The stress of all of that - on us, and on Kate - was absolutely too much. By the end of June she was in a very fragile place. Her fear and anxiety went through the roof - and most days it felt like we'd just brought her home again. THIS is why adopted families are encouraged to "cocoon" for at least 3-6 months after they come home... and then to re-enter "normal life" slowly. (Which of course was our plan... but sometimes plans have to change for financial reasons.)<br />
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For those who aren't familiar - cocooning is the name adoptive families use for the season where we focus on keeping our adopted kids' world small (like a tiny cocoon holding a butterfly!) Of course with the life-cycle of a butterfly... if what happens in the cocoon is skipped, they can never fly. Their time in their cocoon is vital for their future health. The same is true for adopted children. If they never have time to adjust to their new life/language/culture... if they never learn to feel safe at home... if they never learn what "home" is... if they never attach to their families - then they cannot "fly" in the great wide world! We'd been cocooning SO much for 6 months, and we hoped Kate could handle more time away this month. But our trips each held a level of stress we hadn't anticipated (and the car issues put us all over the edge!) It was way too much too soon for our sweet girl. Next month we're going to have to dial back (majorly) to help Kate re-set.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i> Love these shots from our beach trip! We ALWAYS stop to smell the flowers!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>I'm so lucky to have a wonderful photographer for a husband!</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Photo credit & copyright: <a href="http://www.rjacksonmedia.com/">RJackson Media</a></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>LANGUAGE</u></b></span></div>
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In the midst of all the regression, we're thankful that her language is continuing to progress! This month Kate began putting together more phrases, and even some sentences in English! She's also finally started to like books again, and has actually enjoyed me reading to her. We've heard her praying by herself often while she's playing... with a mix of English and Thai words (but again, more and more English phrases) as she talks to God. It's the most precious thing! She often prays for Meow (her best friend in Thailand), Bpa and P. Lam (her caregivers), and also for Baby Mae in Ethiopia (the little girl our neighbors are in the process to adopt!)<br />
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With her language progression, she's started talking more about Thailand too. She can tell me so many things in detail that I never expected her to remember from our time there. This month she even recognized the song we played the very first night she spent with us ("<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beZ5hF-qZDY">When Love Takes You In</a>") and told me it was from Thailand, and "Kate sad" (which was very true. Our poor girl was very sad and scared the first night she spent with us!) She also talked often this month about how much she missed Meow.<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">A few more things about Kate...</span></u></b></div>
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This month Kate got more updated vaccines, and we found out she's recently grown more than 2 inches AND gained a couple of pounds too! (No wonder her pants are getting shorter!) She also had her first trip to the ophthalmologist (who said she has perfect vision!), and an appointment with the geneticist - because of a little health scare. Thankfully the (very serious) concern was ruled out. We are extremely grateful she's healthy!<br />
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These days Kate is in LOVE with Daniel Tiger (the cartoon version of Mr. Rogers!) It's so much fun to watch her loving the characters I grew up with, and singing songs that are so familiar to me. It's been a wonderful teaching tool - and we've incorporated lots of the little songs into our daily life!<br />
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On the few days we were home this month we spent more time outside under our pretty purple tree. It's always been a favorite of mine, but I love this little tree even more now that our little girl is home - and her favorite color is purple! It's so sweet to watch her play beneath those blooms. And of course she's still excited every single time she finds a "wormy" or "roly poly" outside! (If you don't believe me, check out the little "roly poly" dance she's does below with her Auntie Beth! Haha! We love you Auntie Beth! 💕)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/243785415" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/243785415">The Roly Poly Dance</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</i></span></div>
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This month also held a huge adoption milestone... our last social worker visit! Since Kate came home, we've had to complete reports, see a doctor, and have a social worker visit our home every 2 months - to be sure we were a "good fit" as her family before we were allowed to finalize our adoption (and become her parents legally). Even though we LOVE our social worker (and we know this is just a formality to make sure children are placed in safe, healthy homes) - it's still a bit nerve-wracking to feel you have someone constantly looking over your shoulder as a parent. It was a wonderful feeling to know we'd met all our post adoption requirements at the start of this month! Now we can meet with a lawyer, and file for a court date to finalize our adoption!</div>
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-23605813339543532752017-05-31T12:49:00.000-04:002017-11-19T21:44:07.421-05:00Six Months In Our Arms<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Well… I just thought I was “behind” on all those other
monthly updates! I’m writing this update from May in November (oops!) and just
back-dating it, but better late than never! I’m proud I at least was able to
write notes down each month to later turn into a blog. And now that we’re
finalized – I can share photos of our sweet girl’s
face! May 29<sup>th</sup> marked 6 months with Kate in our arms. Here’s our #kateupdate!</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>FIRSTS</u></span></b></div>
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Kate had SO many "firsts" again this month! She had her first overnight trip away from home (since coming home from Thailand in December) with Mama and Papa. We took an unexpected trip to Nashville in May to meet up with another Thailand adoptive family who came all the way from Indiana. So Kate had her first Thai friend playdate too! It was so great to meet up with Jandie and Aaron (who are also photographers and videographers) and to watch Kate playing with their two adorable kids, Ty and Mia!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Two mischievous Thai babies! They loved playing together!</i></span></div>
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We ended the night with Thai food, and then headed back to our little AirBnB cottage. Before heading home the next day we went to the Rainforest Cafe for lunch - and oh how she LOVED all the animatronic animals! She asked questions often throughout the 2 days about where we were going, and when we were going home... but with lots of reassurance and explanations Kate ended up loving her first little "family trip"!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>The Jacksons & The Waggoners - with all our Thai babies!</i></span></div>
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Kate attended (and helped host) her first Block Party this month! Every year our street hosts a huge neighborhood block party (started by my husband!) This was our 4th annual party, and it's become something our neighbors (and all their children) look forward to so much! We have live music, games, lots of food and tons of fun! Kate stayed up super late, and even took her first turn at the microphone singing for the crowd that night (I couldn't believe it!) She sang the ABC song and ended it with, "Bye people! I love you!" hahaha!<br />
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She also had her first little trip to the Alabama Theater to watch her friend Evie's dance recital. She loved cheering for Evie, and was quick to tell me that she wanted to dance on that stage too! So between that declaration and her singing into the microphone at the block party, we're pretty sure we have a little performer on our hands!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Kate with some of her besties from our street!</i></span></div>
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My parents have been cutting timber on their land, and this month held Kate's <a href="https://vimeo.com/243418443">first ride on a skidder</a>! (I still can't believe she got into such a massive piece of equipment without me! She LOVED IT!) Some less exciting "firsts" included her first vaccines since she's been home (she was so brave and tough! She doesn't cry for shots or bloodwork!), her first trip to the audiologist (who said her hearing was great!), and her first video work trip to Albertville with Mom & Dad (only possible because her incredible Auntie Beth was able to babysit at the facility where we were shooting - thank you Auntie Beth!) </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Our first family photo on Mother's Day!</i></span></div>
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By far the very best "first" this month though, was having Kate home for Mother's Day! We snuck away to the lake for the weekend with my parents (Kate's first full weekend away from home!) and she did great! She really enjoyed being in a condo with her parents AND grandparents - and seeing her Uncle Jaron and Auntie Shell (who were in town for a wedding!) She even let them hold her - which was a huge step forward in those relationships! </div>
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Kate made her Yaai and Tutu these sweet paintings for Mother's Day, and I had so much fun watching her enjoy herself while "crafting"! (I see lots of fun craft times in our future!) We played in the pool, went for walks by the lake, and took pictures in the woods. I still can't believe that after 5 Mother's Days with empty arms, she was finally here to hold and hug and kiss! It was a very special day!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>With my mom and my baby girl on Mother's Day!</i></span></div>
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We ended the month with another very special experience. On Memorial Day we created a little "memorial" of our own. Since that day marked 6 months since we took custody of Kate, we decided it was the perfect day to plant some special trees in her honor.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Planting Kate's special trees at Yaai and Dtah's house...</i></span></div>
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On our family land (where my father's family has lived for 4 generations) we planted 5 beautiful pink cherry blossom trees - one to represent each year that we waited for Kate!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Helping Papa dig the first hole!</span></i></div>
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We all worked together in the beginning... but when the sky opened up and it started pouring rain Kate and her Yaai went inside. Rusty and I couldn't help but laugh as we shoveled mud with my dad... of course we'd be doing this in a rainstorm after all the crazy things that happened during our adoption process! And considering Kate's Thai nickname means rainwater, it seemed strangely fitting! We are looking forward to seeing these little trees grow up with our little girl... and anxiously awaiting the beauty they will bring each Spring!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://vimeo.com/243453798">Planting Kate's Trees</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>We can't wait to see these beautiful trees grow!</i></span></div>
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Attachment this month has definitely been a dance... two steps forward and one step back.... one step forward and two steps back! Our plan was to have Kate ready to start daycare by the end of the month (just two mornings a week). We've been visiting once a week starting in April with Mama in the classroom... just helping her adjust and get comfortable a little at a time. This month we thought she was ready to try a few hours in the classroom without me. We did everything we could to prepare her... but the visit did not go well. I barely got her to agree to go in without me --- and only got her to finally agree because I let her hold my car keys (so she knew I wouldn't leave) and because the teacher promised she'd let her come to me in the hall anytime she asked. We really thought she'd come out a couple of times, see I was still there, trust I'd stay - and then enjoy herself in the class. But that was not the case.<br />
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Our sweet girl came out to see me 7 times in 55 minutes, and was totally panicked by the time we got home. She struggled to sleep at night for weeks, and we saw major regression and anxiety because of that visit. At times, it felt like she'd regressed back to how she was in January... just so anxious and fearful. The school setting looks too much like an orphanage to her - with a room full of children and no parents. Being there triggered memories of all the trauma she's endured. And her greatest fear is that we will leave her - so for me to try to convince her to stay somewhere without me brought those fears back to life. It is taking lots of time for her to recover (and of course we canceled our plans for daycare this summer! It was very clear that she wasn't ready!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Kate still loves to stop and smell the flowers. She was so happy these "woke up"!</i></span></div>
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Despite her regression over school, she is still attaching to us more each month. These days she plays the "locked" game more often in our doorways, and gives (and gets) lots of kisses that way (you must give kisses to open the door!) She's also been giving kisses to me more and more just on her own (which I'm THRILLED by!) She even spent 2 hours strapped to my chest in our Lillebaby carrier one day this month, just wandering around looking at flowers with me at Home Depot. (I loved it!) She tells us often these days, "I need kisses!" and "I need hugs!" and we are more than happy to meet her demands! She must have alllll the kisses and hugs before either of us leave (she needs kisses on her forehead, nose, chin, lips, and each cheek. It's so cute!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>We are so lucky to have these cuties as next-door neighbors!</i></span></div>
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Kate and I have also started having a special "popsicle time" together. On hot days we each get a popsicle, sit together on our screened porch, and listen to music together on my phone until long after our popsicles are gone. (Usually it's some version of Jesus Loves Me, or some other little kid songs!) It's just the two of us, and we have lots of snuggles and eye contact! It's definitely helping with bonding, and it makes me smile when she asks for "popsicle time"!<br />
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We've been telling her for weeks and weeks now, "Mama and Papa ALWAYS come back." These days she will tell us before she leaves to go somewhere with the other parent (or her grandparents), "Always come back! Don't be scared!" as if to reassure us. It is the sweetest thing!<br />
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Her language is continuing to come along! I didn't do a great job of writing down her new words/phrases from this month - but I can tell you that "BLOCK PARTY!" was one of them! Haha! She talked about the Block Party for days and days (before and after it happened!) She's also been saying, "See you later! Bye! I love you!" to literally EVERYONE she sees (including strangers in the grocery store! Ha!) No doubt she's heard us say that to family and close friends, and is just copying it (without realizing who to apply it to). But it has touched quite a few sweet strangers when she's told them!<br />
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She asks these days if everything is from Thailand - or tells me certain things are from Thailand (and often she's right!) Multiple times a day she'll point to something and say, "From Thailand?" and wait for me to respond. I think she's just trying to connect the dots.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Kate loved our matching outfits for the Block Party!</i></span></div>
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Speaking of Thailand, she sadly no longer calls herself "Namfon" (her Thai nickname). She constantly referred to herself in third person when she came home, and would point to her things and name them too (Namfon!) as if to say, "that's mine!" These days though she fully answers to Kate, calls herself Kate, and introduces herself as Kate. As sweet as it is to finally have our "Kate" - we're sad to see her little nickname wiped away (despite us continuing to use it sometimes!)<br />
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We realized this month that she's struggling with the classification of things. For example, we've worked on teaching her animal names, but when a little girl at school asked, "What's your favorite animal?" she couldn't answer. (She knows tiger and bunny and puppy and kitty and lion and penguin and zebra - etc - but she doesn't know they are "animals"! Whoops!) We also realized she didn't know what "favorite" meant (she can tell you what she likes and dislikes but "favorite" is a bit harder to explain with limited language!) So those are two things we've been working on!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Riding the choo choo on our family trip to Nashville!</i></span></div>
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She is still not interested in books - which tells me her language/vocabulary still has a long way to go. But she did let me read a handful of books to her this month, which is at least a step in the right direction! (She's been completely avoiding them for quite a while because without knowing the language, they just aren't enjoyable.)</div>
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She does ask often for me to sing songs to her still, and has learned "Jesus Loves Me" which is adorable! I'm so glad our sweet girl loves music like her mama!</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><u>A few more things
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She is currently obsessed with the movie "Homeward Bound" from my childhood. She loves "Shadow, Sassy, and Champ" (and I'm not ashamed to say I cried the first time I re-watched it with her!) She begs to watch the "thuppies and kitty cat!" every day. We're realizing she is very athletic, and she can dribble a basketball with either hand while walking! She's also completely obsessed with footie pajamas, and wants to wear them every single night, no matter how hot it is! Her little toes have busted through her favorite pair of pink polka dot fox pajamas (which she's very sad about!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>A picnic at the park with some of our friends! We love playdates with the Kimes!</i></span></div>
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She's loving playdates with friends, picnics, wearing overalls with her Dtah, spending time with her neighbor-friends on our street, planting flowers with mama, watching honeybees in our purple tree, and finding "roly polys, wormies, and beetle bugs!" Auntie Beth has been amazing at finding "roly polys" during her visits and we've had cups and "critter catchers" full of them for weeks now. It is so sweet to see how gentle Kate is with little bugs, and how fascinated she is watching them and holding them!<br />
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<b><a href="https://vimeo.com/243415400">Roly Poly Fun</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</b></div>
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She is still deeply attached to her bunnies - who are now an entire family. She has her big gray bunny she got when she came home (Bunny), her little gray bunny (she calls Baby Bunny) who was in her Easter basket, and she's since added a little white bunny that was a gift from a friend to the "Bunny family". Big bunny is still the favorite though, and she was really excited to get him a pair of blue jeans from Build a Bear (since she's also still pretty obsessed with wearing blue jeans every day!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Kate LOVES Baby Violet, Karis, and Mason (not pictured).</i></span></div>
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Her little imagination is continuing to blossom with every passing week. Lately she's been pretending to go to work with "Kali" (a friend Rusty shoots wedding videos with), or pretending to call Meow or to go to Thailand and visit Meow. She's always sure to give us goodbye hugs and kisses before she goes though, and always promises to come back!<br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-21692833558243022172017-05-20T00:37:00.000-04:002017-05-24T00:39:19.848-04:00My Mother's Day Story (+ interview)Mother's Day has come and gone... but I'm still thinking about last weekend and counting my blessings. After spending the last 5 Mother's Days <a href="https://www.instagram.com/explore/tags/waitingforkate/">#waitingforKate</a> with empty arms and an aching heart - I sure was grateful to have my daughter in my arms this year! We still can't share photos of her beautiful face, but I love this sweet shot from the day. One of my favorite things to do right now is to lean over and whisper in her ear, "You make me HAPPY!" The way she giggles and smiles when she hears my "secret" is the sweetest thing. <br />
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We are still working through this huge transition with Kate, and walking through plenty of grief. We still have lots of hard days, and plenty of tears. To lose everything you've known for 4 years is not an easy thing... but we are grateful we get to be the ones to comfort her and the ones who will now be here FOREVER for her. I'm truly in awe of our daughter's courage, strength, kindness and compassion. She is such a precious child. Even in the midst of brokenness - this little darling has brought so much joy and beauty to our lives. Hearing her call me "Mama" is the greatest gift! 💕<br />
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A few days before Mother's Day I was invited to share my story on WDJC in Birmingham (thanks to my friend Stephanie who is their awesome drive time DJ!) It was really emotional to walk back through the past 5 years and to remember all we've been through. I shared some very personal things - including an extraordinary part of our adoption story that we've never shared publicly before! So I am excited to post the interview here too! <br />
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When you have a few minutes, I hope you'll pour yourself a cup of tea and take a listen. You'll hear a recap of our 5 year journey, and some encouragement for those of you still walking through your own adoption journeys. And I hope that maybe, just maybe, someone will listen to our story and be moved to adopt too!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Part 1: The Calling & Confirmation</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Part 2: The Obstacles</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Part 3: Cutting The Red Tape</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">Part 4: A Message For Waiting Mothers</span><br />
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Thanks friends, for reading and listening! <i>(And thanks Stephanie for the opportunity to share - and for your patience when my 4-5 minute segments turned into 6+ minutes. Oops!)</i> If you're ever curious about other parts of our process - feel free to leave a question in the comments! And if you're thinking about adopting, let me say it one more time: these children are worth the work and worth the wait! 💕<br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-83022488931225542782017-05-14T22:00:00.000-04:002017-06-07T00:36:23.582-04:00Five Months In Our Arms<i>Once again I'm late with this recap... but better late than never! April 29th marked 5 months since we took custody of Kate. So here's a recap from our very busy, very fun, and (unfortunately) very hard month #5!</i><br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">FIRSTS</span></u></b></div>
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This month held so many "firsts" for Kate! April 13-15 we celebrated her first Songkran home, which is the Thai New Year. We took photos in our traditional Thai outfits (that I will cherish forever! Sneak peek below... I hope to share more on another blog soon!), and we took Kate to meet our Thai friends who run our favorite Thai restaurant in Birmingham for a special lunch out. We also celebrated with a big water fight in the front yard with all the neighbor kids, and shared some special Thai snacks!</div>
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Right after Songkran came Easter... and we did lots of fun things to celebrate that holiday too! Kate went on her first Easter Egg Hunt (at least the first one we know of), met the Easter Bunny for the first time (she loved him but definitely did not want to sit in his lap! Until we got in the car and started home... then she wanted to go back to see him. Haha!), dyed Easter eggs (including special ones for her best friend and caregivers from Thailand), and she got her first Easter basket from the Easter bunny!<br />
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<b><a href="https://vimeo.com/220580474">Kate's 1st Easter Egg Hunt</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</b><br />
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She loved all her goodies... especially the baby bunny in her basket! Mama and Papa sent her a bunny just like this to Thailand - but he got broken and thrown away. She was so excited that the Easter Bunny went to Thailand, found him, fixed him, and brought him home! ;) When you squeeze him our voices are recorded telling Kate "Mama loves you" and "Papa loves you" in Thai and English. </div>
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Kate also loved our matching Easter outfits... even if she didn't make it through the whole Easter service before getting restless and telling us "home!" We went to the Whistlestop Cafe for Easter lunch and she loved watching the trains, and dancing around the restaurant between bites (haha). But the memory this Mama will cherish most from Easter Sunday is the moment she gave me my very first kiss on the lips! What a priceless gift! </div>
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A few more fun "firsts" include her first time meeting her Auntie Beth, her first playdate with her friend Gia from Korea, her first time playing "Pooh Sticks", her first time in a fire truck thanks to a birthday party at the fire station (she LOVED it!), her first time seeing Mama sing a solo on stage (she wanted me to get on the stage at church all morning and was so excited when it was my turn!), and her first trip to Yaai and Dtah's church! She did surprisingly well with everyone so excited to meet her - as long as she was in Dtah's arms. We went to hear him sing for a special Easter music service... and she waved to him and yelled from the balcony, "Ma nee Dtah! Come here!" Haha!</div>
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Some not so fun firsts included her first stomach bug (that we know of - poor baby!) and Papa's first night away from her. I'm so thankful my parents came to help distract her while Rusty was out of town shooting a wedding! </div>
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One of our most special "firsts" this month though, was our first anniversary of our "<a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/04/we-are-matched.html">matching day</a>"! One year ago on April 25th we opened up the most important email of our lives and saw our Thai darling's face for the very first time! In <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/04/we-are-matched.html">that moment</a> we fell absolutely, completely, irrevocably, head-over-heels in love with her! We celebrated our "matching day" with a special night out together for Thai food and ice cream, and a trip to the fountain to teach our little "wish come true" how to throw in a penny and make a wish! </div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>ATTACHMENT</u></b></span></div>
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It's been a hard, hard month full of high highs and low lows with attachment and bonding. We realized this month that the main reason Kate has been doing SO well so far - is because we've continued to keep her world small and steady for months since she came home. We've been home a lot, with not too many visitors, and we've tried to get her set into a pretty steady schedule. We haven't taken any trips away from her - or away from home. But Rusty has been working more and more away from home, and the end of last month held multiple (long) grandparent visits - right on top of me (Mama) being really sick with a fever virus and bronchitis. For an entire week I barely left the couch, and the week after that I couldn't function without constant coughing. It seriously threw her for a loop. She would yell "NO!" when I coughed and seemed so worried about me. I realized after a few days that she has probably NEVER seen an adult get sick before. Most likely, her caregivers stayed home when they were sick (because she was in a very well-run orphanage!) Can you imagine how frightening it must have been to see her Mama (who she'd just started to *really* bond with) so sick all of a sudden? I had to remind her constantly that I would be okay, and that my doctor and my medicine would help me. I even let her "help me" take my medicine every day. Unfortunately all that change and fear caused a major round of regression and grief.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Learning to play "Pooh Sticks" with Mama!</span></div>
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I know that regression is a normal part of the attachment "dance" - but that doesn't make it any easier. This round felt like we'd taken 10 steps backwards. The road to attachment and healing is hard and long... and to have a major setback was really discouraging (and incredibly heartbreaking). I hated seeing Kate lose some of the independence she'd gained (it took months of constantly working to make her feel safe to get to where she'd been). I really hated seeing her wake up with grief fits again at night and seeing renewed grief/fear/anger in the daytime. But of course the hardest part was watching her pull away from me again - after months of working to earn her trust and love!</div>
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We had a terribly rough 10 days at the start of the month... followed by a good week... and then Rusty left for his first night (ever) away from Kate since she got home. That, coupled with us visiting her school (which is a bit of a scary thing) set off another week of regression and grief. This month she started talking about her best friend from the orphanage (Meow is her nickname), and grieving that loss almost daily. Every time she meets a new friend, it makes her miss her old (best) friend. She comes home and talks about Meow after every play date or school visit, and it absolutely breaks my heart. But I do all I know to do... I talk about her with Kate, we watch videos of them playing together, and we give Meow's picture kisses on especially hard days! She's asked to go back to Thailand and see her, and we've promised to make that happen sometime in the next 3 years. Meow has found a very special place in our hearts, and we are honestly grieving Kate's loss alongside her. (Someday I'll share a longer blog about sweet Meow, but for now would you join us in praying for her? She is such a precious girl!)<br />
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Despite intense grief and serious regression this month, we also had a lot of growth! After the 2nd round of regression passed, Kate started finally giving out affection to me (Mama) regularly! I'm getting hugs, kisses, and snuggles so much more than ever before, and I'm so, so grateful for it! </div>
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These days she wants kisses for every little boo boo (she didn't always let us comfort her in the beginning) and even gives kisses for our boo boos too. She'll tell us to "be caw-ful" with her and with each other too! She has gotten to the point where she insists on us matching EVERY DAY - and while sometimes stressful, it's also pretty adorable. She is obsessed with blue jeans (it's all she wants to wear every. single. day.) and wants me to wear blue jeans with her (no matter how hot it is!) She also likes for our shirts to match, our jewelry to match (she went and put on her gold star olympic medal "necklace" because I had on a gold star necklace one day! HA!), and even wants us to have the same food, snacks, gum, and drinks! So if you see any cute mother/daughter matching outfits - please let me know about them! </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">My little firefighter...</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(and our matching outfits she insisted on this day!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>LANGUAGE</u></b></span></div>
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We are seeing her language growing with each passing day. This month she is putting together even more phrases. She's also going through a "parrot" stage, where she repeats almost everything we say! She's singing more this month (which I love) and still chatters
constantly to herself, her toys, and us - though it's still a mix of Thai, English, and baby talk right now.<o:p></o:p><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Those tiny little hands love holding little bugs!</span></div>
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She's telling more elaborate stories about her imaginary "tigers" these days. She still says she
sees purple tigers everywhere, and it's become the funniest little game! One day she grabbed Rusty's hands before he left for work and said as seriously as she could, "Papa. BE CAREFUL! Tigahs outside. BIG tigahs. Purple tigahs. Bite you. WING PAPA! (run!) BE CAREFUL, oh-tay?" The look on her face was one of utmost concern. It. was. adorable.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPBE8foyfEoLy3RD0Js1ewrXNDDkqTaJdBbhyphenhyphenJaDWCkFVtUQB1-O1i9QXKDFBiLIe0wB0L2whtDm2MY_QoQxorv7QUU28fn9dUHuc56b4ekVuYzG3YE6Wn0p0r0M2ukgeBSE9vvCMGX_M/s1600/IMG_4765.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPBE8foyfEoLy3RD0Js1ewrXNDDkqTaJdBbhyphenhyphenJaDWCkFVtUQB1-O1i9QXKDFBiLIe0wB0L2whtDm2MY_QoQxorv7QUU28fn9dUHuc56b4ekVuYzG3YE6Wn0p0r0M2ukgeBSE9vvCMGX_M/s400/IMG_4765.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Her favorite words these days are TOGETHER? (she always, always wants the three of us to be "together"! It's so hard to leave her for any reason!) and "I forgot!" (which she now says all of the time in the cutest little tone!). She also tells us - be caw-ful, wight dewr (right there), come wight back, huuurwy!!, hold my hand (so sweet), Mama! Look at nee! (look at this!) and "mai work today?" (no work today? She hates it when either of us has to go work! Which these days is mostly just Papa... because she just isn't ready for school or a babysitter yet.) She also called Rusty "Daddy" for the first time this month! (I'm not sure how much longer "Papa" will last!)<br />
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<a href="https://vimeo.com/220495994">Kate catches a frog!</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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<o:p><b><u><span style="font-size: large;">A few more things about Kate...</span></u></b></o:p></div>
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Our little one loves going to the park, and will ask to go see a "new park today!" - so I'm pretty sure we've been to almost every park in Birmingham. She really likes the parks with swings next to each other, and will ask to "hold my hand" as we swing side by side. She loves to go to the doctor, and has even said multiple times she needs to go when she doesn't (ohmy!) She loves to play doctor too, and even told me once that she wants to be a doctor when she grows up! She also let us know this month that her favorite color is PURPLE! That is so interesting to me... because purple is her birth color in Thailand (they have birth colors for the day of the week you were born on. So neat!)</div>
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She loves going to play at Yaai & Dtah's house (my parents) where she catches frogs and bugs, explores the woods, and loves wading in the creek and throwing rocks in the waterfall! She can walk and dribble a basketball with one and/or both hands (our little athlete!) She likes pretending to be a puppy, loves to paint (watercolors and finger paints), and has become a great little helper. She'll even tell me, "Kate HELP Mama!" </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqA9JymVgaPOlWFtpNm8wmx94xGi3yBjfTSLGt34UZ1JHd_s9qv8DNFeTMej5OfLRYsYB82MalAlsYCdtt7rOwZva8oY_kS0CVX7zVLW9O3vEji0W-zHLLBuqGPiEap0riA5Hg3KgSw-Q/s1600/IMG_4738.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqA9JymVgaPOlWFtpNm8wmx94xGi3yBjfTSLGt34UZ1JHd_s9qv8DNFeTMej5OfLRYsYB82MalAlsYCdtt7rOwZva8oY_kS0CVX7zVLW9O3vEji0W-zHLLBuqGPiEap0riA5Hg3KgSw-Q/s400/IMG_4738.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Kate loves wearing overalls like her Dtah!</span></div>
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She's eating pretty well again, and has become obsessed with white bread. She wants to eat it all the time (I guess because that's not something she had in Thailand? They really don't eat much bread there!) and will ask me to make "bread cubes" - which is something my dad did for me as a kid. She is also still obsessed with chewing gum, and figured out this month that you can blow bubbles with it. She'll sit forever and beg me for bubbles... watching and waiting as I blow them for her to pop. She thinks it is hilarious and will giggle and beg, "eek nung!" (one more!) again and again!</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Visiting Kate's school, where Papa told her new friends about Thailand!</span></div>
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Kate is starting to play by herself better these days. (I know it was a huge adjustment to being an only child after years in an orphanage with constant playmates!) I love watching her little imagination in action when I catch her talking to her stuffed animals. She had a hearing exam this month (all healthy!), started visiting her school with Mama in the classroom (we're trying to work up to attending Mom's Day Out 2 mornings a week this summer), and had her 2nd post placement visit with our social worker (we got a great report on how well she's attaching and developing). </div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Kate learning about seeds with Ms. Amy!</span></div>
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She still LOVES watching "family movie" snuggled on the couch together, and we try to watch about 15 minutes of something that way almost every night before bed. Bed time is becoming sweeter and sweeter as she's participating more in prayer time. She is excited to pray each night for "Baby Mae in E-opi-uh" (Ethiopia - our across the street neighbors are adopting!) We've also started praying for Meow in Thailand each night. As she is missing her more and more, it seemed like a good way to let her know we haven't forgotten her. It's a really special thing to pray for Meow together as a family (and sometimes we all give her picture goodnight kisses too!) She actually lets me snuggle her some on the nights we lay down together, and on the nights Rusty puts her to bed she's started yelling, "I LOVE YOU MAMA!" over and over again as I walk out from kissing her goodnight. It is pure sweetness, and my favorite way to end the day!</div>
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-57910023130023658252017-04-01T13:26:00.000-04:002017-05-09T23:59:10.018-04:00Four Months In Our Arms<div class="MsoNormal">
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<i>Confession: I am writing this blog very late and back-dating it. The past two months have been busy and hard and I just keep falling behind... but I don't want to forget any of these details from our first year home with Kate! </i><i>March 29th marked 4 months with our darling little girl in our arms... so here's a recap from month #4! </i></div>
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<u><span style="font-size: large;"><b>FIRSTS</b></span></u></div>
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Believe it or not, we're still enjoying LOTS of firsts with Kate! On March 5th she took her very first trip to my alma mater, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried holding her in my arms as we took our first steps onto campus at Toomer's Corner! She took her very first photo at the Auburn sign in front of Samford Hall, and I thought my heart might burst while I watched her playing with one of my dear college friend's little girls on Samford Lawn. She made the funniest face when she tried Toomer's Lemonade for the first time (she is not a fan of sour things!) but she loved all the tigers she saw everywhere! <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kate also attended her first AU Singers Show. Tears sprung to my eyes again when I watched my baby hop up on the front row and try to mimic the dance moves during the show! She saw her mama perform for the very first time when I joined the choir to close the show with "What Would I Do Without My Music" and even tried to sing along. It was precious! Maybe someday she'll be an AU Singer too! ;)</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/207404967" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe><a href="https://vimeo.com/207404967">Making pies with Mama</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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My little helper got a chance to make her very first "Fireball Cherry Pie" (video above) which is a family tradition that I loved sharing with her! I only wish my MeMaw was here to taste it... she would adore our little brown eyed girl and Kate would love singing and dancing (and cooking) with her! Kate went to Oxford to visit her Yaai and Dtah at work for the first time this month - and did surprisingly well being introduced to lots of new people. She loved surprising Yaai with flowers on her birthday and singing to her in her office!</div>
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This month Kate celebrated her very first St. Patrick's Day home... and we couldn't resist snapping a few photos to commemorate the holiday. (She looked like the cutest little Thai Rainbow Brite in those leggings ya'll!) She has so much fun "modeling" for these shoots. Like a true diva she wore her first vintage fur collar (to match Mama) one cold Sunday this month. She also watched Beauty and the Beast for the very first time and LOVED it! She now regularly talks about "Da Beast!"</div>
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<a href="https://vimeo.com/216619328">Our Duckling Adventure</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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We had an incredible afternoon in the park this month where Kate got to pet baby ducks for the first time ever. We just happened to come across the sweetest, tamest Mama duck who let us pet her (and her fluffy ducklings) for a while. Kate was in heaven (and I loved it too!) while Rusty almost had a heart attack because he was so worried the Mama duck was going to attack us. Haha! (For those with our password, you can watch the hilarious video from that day above!)<br />
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<o:p><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>LANGUAGE</b></u></span></o:p></div>
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<o:p>We are still making progress with our language... slow but steady! Our little chatterbox wants to be able to *really* talk to us so badly... and I hate the fact that we still can't really communicate with her. She is trying to tell more and more stories these days in an effort to connect with us. Most of them are still in a kind of gibberish/baby talk - but sometimes we can pick out enough English/Thai words to get an idea of what she's trying to say. I celebrated the day she was finally able to tell me what she had for breakfast without me giving her prompts. Whoo hoo! It may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me! (God bless my precious husband who feeds her breakfast every day and lets Mama sleep just a little bit more! I love having her climb up in bed and tell me, "Namfon eggs... milk... chocolate milk... All gone!" with the biggest smile!) </o:p><br />
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<o:p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jW4WSa9vBc6jhRpklOcI5WpNrZF60Swi4xc39nKnAozF5kkhnmCL2OgkjUtjZH-FnjTBAaH7enfcXTgKCLPfb68mebtkye2gk2FFFB3cSQTFN0uScOqF6FElokdEffYMqv2grYAbX9s/s1600/Ducks.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3jW4WSa9vBc6jhRpklOcI5WpNrZF60Swi4xc39nKnAozF5kkhnmCL2OgkjUtjZH-FnjTBAaH7enfcXTgKCLPfb68mebtkye2gk2FFFB3cSQTFN0uScOqF6FElokdEffYMqv2grYAbX9s/s640/Ducks.jpg" width="640" /></a></o:p></div>
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<o:p>Kate points and asks to know more and more words with every passing day. She has learned to say "Bing!" when she wants us to buy something (she's mimicking the sound of the item being scanned at the checkout! Haha!) She still LOVES presents - but doesn't know what to do with the fact that so many people give her gifts for no reason! So she asks, "Happy Birthday Namfon?" every time someone brings a present. It is the cutest thing! She still sings the "Happy Birthday" song to her stuffed animals often during playtime, and LOVED attending 2 birthday parties for her friends Lydia and Karis this month! </o:p></div>
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<o:p>She has started talking about Meow (her best friend from the orphanage) and Pa (the adoption director at the orphanage) more this month. Anytime we say "everyone" when we're teaching her (for example - that's your bellybutton! Everyone has a bellybutton!) she will list off her family members (Mama? Papa? Dtah? Yaai? Tutu? - yes! We all have bellybuttons!) followed now by Meow and Pa (yes, they have bellybuttons too!) It is sweet and sad at the same time. They were like family to her and I know she misses them! I'm just glad she's finally started talking about them a bit with us, so that maybe we can help her work through her grief.</o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>ATTACHMENT</b></u></span></div>
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Despite 2+ weeks of sickness (a fever virus for both me and Kate, followed by a bad bout of bronchitis for me, followed by bad allergies for all 3 of us!) we have made major progress with attachment the past few weeks. 90% of the time this month I've been allowed to kiss and touch Kate without her getting upset or pulling away! Praises!!! I was also finally able to touch and kiss her a few times at night (when we transition her to our bed) - which was a HUGE deal. In the past that would have made her very upset (she feels so vulnerable when she's sleepy). She even wanted to snuggle with me a few nights out of this month (which made for a very sleep-deprived, but very happy Mama!)<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Working on Yaai's computer... </span></i></div>
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We have convinced her that she has 2 cheeks because one is for Mama to kiss and one is for Papa to kiss! It's become a sweet new game, and she loves being "smushed" between us for kisses. She will then turn and point to Rusty's face and say, "Mama's cheek - Kate's cheek" and we'll give him kisses... followed by my turn ("Papa's cheek - Kate's cheek") which is the sweetest thing!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Being silly with Dtah!</i></span></div>
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We have been working on teaching Kate the names for her emotions the past few weeks, and she is finally picking up on that (which I think is helping with her grief, fear, and attachment). She can understand and name "Happy", "Sad", and "Angry" these days. I've been telling her that her kisses make me HAPPY - and now she'll look at my face after she gives me kisses, smile, and say with a sense of accomplishment - "Mama HAPPY!" It is adorable. (And as you can see from the photos in this section, she is also very attached to her Yaai and Dtah - my parents. They have so much fun together!)</div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: large;"><u><b>A few more things about Kate...</b></u></span></o:p></div>
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This month Kate started blocking doorways with her arms and telling us it's "locked" when we want to get through. We tried looking for "keys" or tickling her to get through - and then I turned it into a game that required kisses (and the person needing to get through has to figure out WHERE the kiss is needed to unlock the door!) It has been the best, most fun way for Mama to get and give lots of kisses! Sometimes I have to kiss both cheeks, her forehead, her chin, her nose, and both hands before she says, "OPEN!" while giggling!<br />
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She loves, loves, loves her Lincoln Logs her Dtah bought her, and makes "Puppy houses" out of them (for her toy puppy) with Rusty multiple times a day. Listening to them playing together in her room is the sweetest sound. She's getting really creative and she's so proud of what she makes! She got another beautiful quilt this month from our dear friend Kathy Hindes (photo above) and she loved playing with her babies on it (in her Belle dress of course) too. </div>
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Her Tutu (Rusty's Mom) came to visit during Spring Break and Kate loved spending time with her. Unfortunately that was the week I was sick on the couch with bronchitis (which was really hard on all of us), but Kate enjoyed a trip to the Zoo (where she got to feed the lorikeets!), feeding the ducks at the Park, and lots of time playing outside with Tutu! Tutu also snuck her a little bit of lipstick (which I guess is another "first") and her Papa didn't like it one bit! Haha! What are grandmother's for... right? ;) Both of Kate's grandmothers sure are enjoying spoiling her!<br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-22931243377797341432017-03-07T00:55:00.000-05:002017-05-10T00:01:48.155-04:00Three Months In Our ArmsSince there wasn't a "February 29th" this year, March 1st marked 3 months since we took custody of Kate. We have one quarter of a year behind us, and I can barely believe it! Here's a recap of the last month with our little girl...<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">FIRSTS</span></u></b></div>
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Believe it or not, we are still celebrating plenty of "firsts" with our little girl. This month she enjoyed her first trip to visit her grandparents' house in Oxford, and her first trip up to the waterfall on our family's land. She LOVED exploring in the woods and throwing rocks in the water! She also had her first trip to her Aunt Tammy & Uncle Grant's new house, where she picked her first flower for Mama (a daffodil). She took her first ride in her Dtah's (grandfather's) convertible too (just down the driveway) and now she wants to ride in it all the time.<br />
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She held her first newborn baby (Violet Knowles) and kissed her first boy (Mason Knowles) on the cheek! Her daddy was not too thrilled. Haha! (I'm sure she might have smooched a boy or two before she came home... but for record keeping purposes, we'll give this honor to sweet Mason!)<br />
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After weeks of riding her little pink tricycle, and begging for a BIG bike like the other girls on the street, Kate also got her first real princess bicycle (with training wheels). It even has a seat for her bunny to ride (it is the cutest thing!) She also chewed her first bubble gum (that we know of) and played with her first bit of bubble wrap. When she popped all the bubbles in it, we had to go to the store and get her more! She also went to The McWane Center for the first time, and subsequently ended up with her first "sick day" since she got home. (Taking her to such a "hands on place" in cold and flu season was definitely a "rookie mom" move! Oops!) Unrelated to her sick day, she had her first big doctor's visit (since she got home) at the International Adoption Clinic this month too. She was amazing! She had 8 vials of blood taken with NO tears! WHAT?! WOW! We have such a brave girl!<br />
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She enjoyed her first Valentine's Day with us, where she was spoiled with chocolates and flowers from her Papa. She also tried cotton candy for the first time (to our knowledge) and got her first Princess Dress from her Yaai (grandmother) - a Belle dress of course! She wants to wear it every day!<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">ATTACHMENT</span></u></b></div>
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Kate has made significant progress this month with bonding and attachment, and major progress with controlling her emotions. The first couple of months we spent with her, she was a lot more volatile and angry at times, which was most likely because she was grieving the loss of her friends/caregivers, frustrated with the language barrier, and because she felt out of control in this huge transition. (Which is ALL completely understandable of course! I would be an emotional wreck if I'd been through what she's experienced!) So we've been really encouraged to see her be more calm, less angry and whiny, and less anxious the past few weeks. We were also excited to see her using brighter colors when she paints or draws (she'd been using a lot of black since we came home) and coloring in the lines for the very first time since she came home (instead of just scribbling!) We've been proud too of how she's been controlling herself and making good decisions even when she gets upset. She LOVES to chew gum, and we decided this month that gum privileges are lost if she hits/hurts Mama. It's been encouraging to see those instances drop significantly! (We have had hardly any time outs this month!) And if she slips up she is quick to apologize sincerely. She really is such a compassionate and tender-hearted child!<br />
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I feel like we've made some great progress with her bonding with me too. She pushes me away less, prefers me occasionally, and has even snuggled with me a few times this month. Unfortunately, it's not linear. We still have unexpected bad days or even weeks with our relationships. We had a few GREAT days this month, that were suddenly followed by 10 days where I wasn't allowed to give her any kisses. It broke my Mama heart. But even on some of those tough days, she decided she wanted to start holding my hand in bed at night as she's falling asleep - and that was a new, precious thing to me!<br />
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This month we've seen some great progress with how she shares and plays with her friends, and she has been more affectionate with her friends too. It is so sweet to look down and see her lovingly stroking the face or head of a friend, holding their hands, or giving them goodbye hugs and kisses! She even told our next door neighbor kids "I love you!" this month! Unfortunately we have also seen some "territorial" times with her too. When she came home she was so used to everything being "community property" like it was in the orphanage. I think now it's sinking in that some things are HERS! And so naturally, she is more protective of some of her things at times (which again, is understandable!) She is especially protective of her Bunny!<br />
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These days we are seeing MAJOR tears over tiny hurts, which is a sign that she trusts us to meet her needs and give her the attention she craves (all good things!) She is actually a really tough kid, but it's so sweet to see her come to us to show us tiny scratches and ask for kisses or a princess bandaid. She can be quite the drama queen when she wants to be. Ha!<br />
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Kate still loves "Family Movie Time" and requests it often. She regularly says, "Love you!" to Mama and Papa now. A few times last month we gave her multiple kisses on her face for bedtime, and these days she requests at least a half a dozen kisses from Papa every time he leaves the house and every night at bedtime! She has to have one on each cheek, her forehead, her nose, her chin, her neck, the back of her head (why? no idea!) and her lips! Mama rarely got to give kisses this month, but sometimes Kate gave them to me in multiple places (my forehead, cheeks, and nose!)<br />
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">SLEEP & FOOD</span></u></b></div>
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Bedtime and mealtimes have been more of a challenge this month. We went through a couple of weeks where Kate would barely nap (it took maybe 20-30 minutes to get her down and then she'd only nap for 30 minutes!) and she was having a hard time sleeping too. One night she got up 8 times between 8pm and midnight. Whew! So we made the hard choice to drop her naps. She was grumpy for a few days around nap time (and still will take a 15 minute catnap every now and then), but she sleeps SO much better at night. We really, really miss the days when she would nap for 1-2 hours in the afternoons (we could actually get some things done then!) - but it's worth it to have her sleeping better at night. She has learned to stay in her bed from 8ish until about midnight - when we go get her, take her to potty, and then put her in our bed (where she co-sleeps between us for the rest of the night). So far it's working well.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Planting flowers with Mama!</span></i></div>
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Mealtimes however, are getting more challenging with each passing week! She drags them out so. long. every. meal. She wants to be fed... she wants to sit in one of our laps... then she changes her mind... then she doesn't want her food... then we have to zoom it like an airplane... then she closes her mouth and says no... *sigh. I thought maybe it was just because she didn't like a lot of the new food she's eating (and that may be part of it), but she acts the same way even for familiar foods and even for meals she requests. So I have a hunch that she just really enjoys all the attention she gets as we're begging her to eat and both focused 100% on her. It is tough to deal with but we are trying to be patient. I try to remind myself that we're just "catching up" on all the difficult feedings we would have done when she was a baby and a toddler if she'd been home! I also keep reminding myself that she probably misses her friends (she ate in the cafeteria at the orphanage every day) and is still adjusting to not eating on as strict of a schedule. But I'm hoping as she learns more language and can articulate what she likes or doesn't like, mealtime will get better! Luckily she does eat pretty healthy food, and will try most things. This month we realized she really likes salad (caesar or with thousand island dressing), so that's been a fun (and healthy) addition to meal times!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>LANGUAGE</u></b></span></div>
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Our friends and family keep telling us Kate has made a LOT of progress with language lately. It's harder for us to see since we are with her every day, but I'm encouraged by their feedback. Lately we've been a little worried because she isn't making as much progress as we expected. We had so many friends who told us their kids were speaking in full sentences by 2 months home! But their kids were 2 years old (or younger) when they were adopted. It's very different for a 4 year old who was fluently speaking Thai when she came home!<br />
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She has definitely been more verbal this month though. For the first few weeks with us we would ask her questions and she would not respond, or just shake her head yes or no. That slowly transitioned to her saying "MAI!" a lot (no in Thai)... but it was hard to get her to say YES (in Thai or English). This month she's been a lot more responsive and says, "Yeah" and "No" most of the time when we talk to her! She also responds with "please", "thank you", and "yuh wawcom" (it is so cute!) regularly. When she gets in trouble for something, I usually reprimand her by saying, "No ma'am!" - and this month she's taken to mimicking me in the EXACT tone I use! It took me so off guard the first time she did it that I burst out laughing (it was crazy to hear my voice mirrored back to me!), and now I can't help but laugh every time! (I probably shouldn't encourage it but it's just too funny to me!) Kate wants to be able to REALLY talk to us so badly... so this month she's started to pretend we're having lengthly conversations by rambling in mostly baby talk/made up words and sounds - with a Thai word or English word here and there.<br />
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This month she also started working on flash cards for a few minutes a few days each week, and she's doing well with those. She's also been learning a lot of animal names, and learning the characters on Sesame Street! She points out our garbage man and mailman every day, and LOVES big trucks. She will literally yell "Mama! Mama! MAMA!!!" over and over until I turn around (while we're in the car) and then "BIG TRUCK!!!" every time we see an 18 wheeler, dump truck, cement truck, moving truck, etc. (literally every. single. time. Road trips are fun these days. Haha!) She also points out every bus she sees and tries to sing the song, "Wheels on the Bus" - which includes her cute little change of "all truuu muh town!" (She sang a rousing rendition of this song at the TOP of her lungs on Valentine's Night at Olive Garden. Sorry to all the people who had to hear it while trying to enjoy a romantic dinner! Haha!)<br />
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We're continuing to work on colors and numbers in English. She knows them well in Thai but gets confused sometimes in English... and bless her sweet heart, she thinks ZERO is ZEBRA! (It's too cute!) Her pronouns have been giving her trouble this month too. She says, "for YOU!" instead of "for me" and it's the cutest thing. She also says, "My turn!" for everyone's turns.<br />
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She tells me every morning, "Get up Mama!" and when chatting with us she'll add, "Mmmkay?" to almost every sentence. When she finds something she's looking for she says, "HaHA!" instead of "Aha!" And she has this lilting sign when she sees something cute or snuggles something or someone that sounds like a Disney princess come to life. (It is adorable!) Her new favorite word? "TOGETHER!" (And she always wants us all 3 to be "together"!)<br />
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She is definitely thinking more in English lately, because she is saying "No" instead of "Mai" (even in the middle of the night when she's half asleep, and even when she's upset) and "Ow" when something hurts (which is actually the word for "want" in Thai). Meanwhile, my brain has flipped to Thai and every time I hurt myself these days, "Jep" comes out before "Ow!"<br />
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Last month when I would try to teach her new words (which I try to do CONSTANTLY) she would often yell, "Noooo!!!" and disengage. This month she is pointing to lots of things and wants to know new words often. I feel a bit like Anne Sullivan (Helen Keller's teacher) these days. (No disrespect, I think Anne Sullivan and Helen Keller are both incredible!) - but I have a child who literally grunts and whines, or yells, "Nee!" (this!) and points at things allll day every day - sometimes because she wants them and doesn't have the words - sometimes because she wants to learn the word. It can wear on my nerves at times, but I am trying to just focus on the positive part of how much she's learning. So all day, every day I am pointing and teaching and trying to give her the words she so desperately needs! We still speak some Thai and play a lot of "charades" in our house though to figure things out.<br />
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Perhaps the most exciting part of this language update though, is that on February 11th our daughter started calling herself "Kate Jackson!" She still refers to herself as Namfon (her Thai nickname) a LOT (and we call her that too plenty of the time), but when you ask, "What is your name?" she will now proudly tell you, "Kate Jackson!" I love it!<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>A few more things about Kate...</u></b></span></div>
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This month we found out that our little girl LOVES sunsets, painting (water colors and temper paints), having her toenails and fingernails painted (at all times!), having her hair curled, and wearing her princess dress. She learned "this little piggy" from her grandmother and she thinks it's so much fun! She took her umbrella and galoshes out to play in the rain a few weeks back and had a ball. Now she wants to wear her purple galoshes every day!<br />
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Kate still loves pretending there are TIGERS around, and being tickled every day. She still adores her Bunny, and the past few weeks she's been sending him on trips with Papa to work, to the store, etc (it is so cute ya'll!) She likes the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Sneaky-Snacky-Squirrel-Game-Storage/dp/B009HUWCAA">Sneaky Squirrel</a> board game, and is learning about "taking turns" playing it with Mama and Papa. She also loves to clean and wants to help us with whatever we're doing (making the bed, cooking meals, etc). And these days, she sings all the time!</div>
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Speaking of singing... I have often wondered what she is singing when I catch Thai words here and there. I've wished so hard that I could tell what song it might be... perhaps a lullaby from a nanny at the orphanage? Well, one day this month she took a stick from her bunny balloon, attached a valentine's card at the end (to make it look like a flag), and was singing away in the sunroom. When I tried to talk to her she told me to "shhh!" and "Stand up Mama!" as she held up her little flag. Then she showed me to put my hands by my side and stand at attention. That's when it clicked! The Thai National Anthem is sung twice a day all over Thailand (it's played in loudspeakers in every restaurant, mall, market, etc - at 8am and 6pm). I'm betting they did it twice a day at the orphanage too! Could that be what she was singing?<br />
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I stood up with her, grabbed my phone, and quickly pulled up the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrcGzLIEsAU">Thai National Anthem</a> on youtube. She instantly held her "flag" higher and started singing along! That was it!!! I'd figured it out! She was so excited (and so was I!) She smiled and told me, "thank you Mama!" We listened to it half a dozen times before showing her Papa and grandparents later that day. She was SO PROUD to hold up her little "flag" and have us all stand at attention while she sang. </div>
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There is so much we don't know about Kate's life in Thailand, and so much of her that we are STILL missing even though she's home - because we just don't have enough language to communicate deeply. So being able to figure out what the little song is she's been singing, showing her that I knew a small part of her daily routine from Thailand, and connecting with her over her National Anthem was so special to me! I can't wait to see what the next month holds for our little girl and our little family! Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-83361925331407785512017-02-18T22:57:00.000-05:002017-02-18T23:40:25.533-05:00Kate's Homecoming (Video)Exactly 2 months ago today, we came home with Kate! On December 18th, we finally landed in the Birmingham airport with our little girl. I wrote in detail about our trip and what our homecoming meant to me when I shared some of the pictures <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/12/welcome-home-kate.html">here</a>, but today our video is finally ready to be shared!<br />
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Rusty and I have dreamed of our homecoming moment with Kate for 5 years. While we waited, we celebrated (and shot video for) 4 other friends who brought their babies home - Gia from Korea, <a href="https://vimeo.com/78111747">Esther from Ethiopia</a>, Tawan from Thailand, and <a href="https://vimeo.com/68703395">Eliana from China</a>! Homecomings are such emotional times for adoptive families. It's a mix of so many feelings - JOY and EXCITEMENT (for your child to meet your/their extended family and friends for the first time), PRIDE (it is so special to finally show your little one off to the people you love!), some anxiety (just wondering how your child will do - will she cry? be afraid?), and a whole lot of RELIEF that you are finally home with your little one! I have felt all those emotions alongside my adoptive mama friends as they brought their babies home - and we were so honored to film for each of them... but I'd be lying if I said there wasn't an ache in my heart each time we went to another homecoming too. I have longed for the day that Rusty and I would get to be the ones coming down that escalator with a beautiful little girl in our arms - tearfully running to hug our parents (amidst a cheering crowd of our closest friends). And this was our day. And it was beautiful, and special, and so full of JOY!<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/204718351" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/204718351">Welcome Home Kate</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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<b><i>Thank you to everyone who came to the airport to welcome Kate home! Thank you for sharing our JOY and helping make our homecoming a memory that we will cherish! We love you all!</i></b></div>
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-15591026342285408642017-02-10T16:00:00.000-05:002017-02-14T00:39:32.123-05:00Two Months In Our Arms<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Goodness - will I ever catch up with my blog? (With an active 4 year old at home, I'm thinking probably not... but I'm still going to try!) In the 8+ weeks since we got custody of Kate we went to a bunch of important meetings/appointments for our adoption, spent almost 3 weeks together in Thailand, moved hotels 3 times, flew around the world, unpacked from our huge trip, decorated for Christmas, celebrated Christmas, celebrated my birthday, and celebrated Kate's birthday (including hosting her first birthday party)! Whew! Add in meeting friends and family, fulfilling more adoption requirements once home (with post placement visits, reports due, and a big doctor's appt) and the really difficult adjustment of being new parents to a 4 year old - and you can see why I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed and behind. While it was incredibly special to have her home for all those BIG moments (like Christmas and both of our birthdays!) I am hoping now that those are behind us - I might be able to stay caught up just a bit better. January 29th marked 2 official months with our beautiful girl in our arms, so here's my (late) post recapping it all! </i></div>
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Over the past month Kate has enjoyed a lot of new "firsts" with us! These include her first trip to Target, first trip to Chick-Fil-A, first sweet tea, first picnic (on an unexpectedly warm January day), first carousel ride (at the zoo), first green smoothie (another favorite!) and first chocolate milk (which she now wants every day. Haha!) She's also had her first official playdate with her friend Karis! Karis' mom is a good friend of mine, and when we looked up and saw our girls holding hands (completely unprompted by us!) I think we both melted into a puddle. They are both so sassy - but also so sweet!</div>
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On January 7th Kate enjoyed her first SNOW! It may have just been an inch or so (and really was mostly ice) but she loved it. We were so surprised! She rarely complains about being cold - but we weren't sure how our tropical beach baby would do actually playing in the ice and snow. But we bundled her up and she had a ball! She loved sledding with Papa, and having snowball fights with the neighborhood kids!</div>
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Kate giggled and squealed throughout her first bubble bath (which she enjoyed on her 4th birthday). We were thrilled to celebrate her first birthday home, host her first birthday party (<a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2017/01/happy-birthday-kate.html">you can read more about that here!</a>) - and take her first real photo shoot (in her birthday tutu! She did great - she's such a ham in front of the camera!) Between Baby Jesus' birthday on Christmas, my birthday the 15th of January, and her birthday the 19th - she now thinks every day is someone's birthday! She is always singing Happy Birthday to herself, me, or one of her toys. Ha! (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BPUF5RTjBES/?taken-by=erickabjackson">You can hear a clip of her sweet voice singing it here!</a>) And anytime she gets something (for example, Rusty handed her a bag of tangerines after a trip to the grocery store) she smiles and exclaims, "Happy Birthday Namfon!" (as if it is another birthday gift! Haha!)</div>
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She had her first outing with her grandparents on January 27th - just to Chick-Fil-A (5 minutes from our house). We were so afraid she would cry or panic, but she had so much fun! (Mama may or may not have cried a little though! It is so hard to be away from your child for the very first time, no matter how old they are!) Rusty and I stayed home just in case they had to rush back... we wanted her to see us home no matter when she returned. But she had a blast playing, ate great, and even wanted to go to Wal-Mart after dinner to do a little shopping. She came home with lots of yummy snacks, and flowers for me - which she presented with a flourish and a, "Happy Birthday Mama!" (2 weeks after my birthday - Ha!) We are SO glad she's bonding with her Yaai and Dtah (my parents) as well as she is, and grateful for a little bit of a break. It's <strike>difficult</strike> impossible to get any alone time with a newly adopted 4 year old. We definitely can't leave her with a babysitter, but at least we can get a short break if my parents are in town now! That's a relief!</div>
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We celebrated our 2nd month-iversary (on January 29th) with her first Sunday at our church! We thought we might just stay through worship and then leave if she got loud - but she was an ANGEL! She wanted to be on the front row to hear the music (she loves music!), and somehow we ended up sitting on the front row for the rest of the service (at her request - that was certainly not the plan!) We had a lot of little toys, play dough, coloring books, and snacks to keep her occupied, and they worked well! She even understood that she had to be quiet. She only got loud once, when she let out an emphatic "WOW" (at the perfect time in the sermon believe it or not! Haha! She was "wowing" something she just drew, but it sounded so planned! The whole church cracked up!) </div>
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She started getting restless during the last prayer so we headed to the back - but she ran back to the front when the music started up again. I didn't want to upset her, so I followed along to see what she would do. She marched right up to the stage and put one hand in the air (just like she had seen me do earlier) to worship. It was precious! It was so special to be there with her - especially when we got to walk past the sign above (with our immigrant daughter). I'm thankful we attend a church that is welcoming to our daughter and supportive of the work we do around the world!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>ATTACHMENT </u></span></b></div>
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We feel like attachment is going well. While we haven't had to worry about intense cocooning (not too many people try to pick up or feed a 4 year old, and Kate has never reached for a stranger) - we are still keeping her world very small. We aren't taking any trips, and we spend most of our time at home these days. We try not to overwhelm her with a lot of new people - and when she does meet new people it's usually at our house (in her comfort zone). She did get a bit overwhelmed at the end of our trip back to church (she buried herself in Rusty's shoulder, then pointed to the door and said "BI!" (GO!) after meeting a few people) so that was a good reminder we still need to keep her close to home!</div>
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The general rule of cocooning is that no one meets her needs except myself and Rusty. These days she still wants us to feed her often (even though she can totally feed herself), and help her in the bathroom (again, she can mostly potty by herself) - but we are continuing to help with those things as long as she'll let us because they are good for bonding.</div>
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It is also important during the first few months home that only the parents comfort a newly adopted child - and this month we saw the reason why! Along with the long list of "firsts" above, Kate got her first skinned knee (since we took custody) this month. Rusty was watching her play, and he instantly ran and scooped her up when she fell. I heard her crying outside - and ran to comfort her as well. Then we both brought her in and I doctored up her knee. Apparently this was a HUGE deal to our daughter, because after it happened - she re-told us the story of how we took care of her 2-3 times a day for at least week! I'm sure in the orphanage she was taken care of when she hurt herself... but it was still an orphanage (albeit a good one!) so she certainly didn't have 2 caregivers rush to her side to scoop her up and kiss her the second she got hurt. Our attentiveness and response to her pain made such an impact on her little heart. It has been so sweet to see her tell us again and again with bright eyes how Papa picked her up when she cried, and Mama ran to her and doctored her knee! We can tell it made her feel so loved and special! </div>
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If you're following our updates on Facebook and Instagram, then you know Kate bonding with me has been a challenge. We have seen some great progress with our relationship this month, though there are still plenty of times she pushes me away, refuses my affection, and takes out her frustration/grief on me. I haven't written about that a lot here (though I plan to share more in a later blog) but I would appreciate your prayers for her heart to bond to mine! Having been bonded to female caregivers in the orphanage (that she then lost), we've been told this response to "Mama" is completely normal, but it's still so difficult! We had our first post-placement visit this month from our adoption agency, and our social worker assured us we are doing all the right things and it will just take time. So I'm celebrating the progress and trying to have patience on the hard days! This month she has started letting me kiss her more often, and is giving out a lot of kisses to me - which I love. (It's still not anywhere near the amount of affection she gives Rusty - but again, I'll take what I can get!) In the picture above, she was supposed to be smiling for the camera - but instead of smiling she pulled me in and covered me with kisses! It was so unexpected and so good for my heart!</div>
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<o:p><span style="font-size: large;"><b><u>SLEEP</u></b></span></o:p></div>
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The honeymoon phase is definitely over, and our "amazing" sleeper and eater isn't quite as amazing these days. We've had some challenging mealtimes and nighttimes lately - which is really just a sign she's getting even more comfortable with us. We try not to fight over food or force it, and for the most part she's still eating really well... but as we introduce more and more new foods some have been hit and miss. </div>
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For bedtime we both tuck her in and do prayer time as a family. Then we take turns on who lays with her until she falls asleep, alternating each night. She was sleeping through the night in Thailand... and then only waking up once early on here (sometimes not at all) and again after midnight - when she would just come get in our bed. But these days she's been waking up at least twice between when we put her to bed and when we go to bed ourselves, and sometimes more than that. We may have to drop naps soon (which will be so hard on us!) We are still co-sleeping from sometime after midnight until the morning. She usually sleeps well during that time (when she's in bed with us) - which we're grateful for! </div>
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<o:p><b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>LANGUAGE</u></span></b></o:p></div>
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Kate has added a lot of new words in the last month! The ones I can think of at the moment are: football (she loves watching and playing football with Papa!), outside, no thank you, CHOCOLATE, love
you, book, Jesus, “LET’S DANCE” (exclaimed while she dances along to the final scene of Footloose! Haha!), help, please, WAR EAGLE HEY! (said with an Auburn shaker in her hand! Yes!), sucker, shower, umbrella,
rain, sit, uhm, huh?, chicken, sleeping, Big Bird, “Prayer Time!”, and home. Her most used word these days though, is "WOW!!!" <o:p></o:p></div>
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While she's still not speaking a ton of English, she does understand a lot more than she speaks. She can follow
most directions given in English, and my parents didn't have any issues communicating with her on their little outing (which is encouraging!)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><u>A few more things about Kate...</u></span></b></div>
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She still LOVES baths, but also enjoys a shower with Rusty (in his swimsuit) every now and then. I walked in to find her shampooing his hair and giggling away a few days ago! It was so sweet! These days she gets really excited about friends coming over and going
outside to play with the neighbors. A lot of the time she is just playing by herself outside (around the other children, but not with them). The language barrier is still tough at her age. But she's become more engaged with her new
friends this month than she was the first few weeks home. Every time she sees or
hears the neighbor kids outside she yells, “PHEUXN!” (which means FRIENDS! in Thai!) and starts begging to go outside!</div>
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We see more and more of her personality the longer we're with her. It's so great to see more of who she is (as she gets more comfortable with us)! We've now enjoyed several elaborate story times in Thai (I so wish we knew what she was saying!) and some hilarious dance performances when music comes on! She has started enjoying TV and movies more, and will actually watch most of a program sometimes (she wouldn't watch anything for 5 minutes the first month we had her!) She really loves Sesame Street lately and usually watches it after nap. </div>
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She is such a compassionate kid, which just makes my heart swell. I got a bad bruise when I wrecked while sledding in the <strike>snow</strike> ice, and she checked on it every single day until it healed to ask me if it hurt (and even gently put lotion on it for me one day). She also checks on my parents a lot (my mom had back surgery in December) to see if they are hurting by pointing and asking in Thai, "Jep mai?", and if my dad says his knee hurts she will let someone else carry her. She loves to play "doctor" and fix you up if you're hurting too!</div>
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Kate is very bonded with her stuffed Bunny these days. He is her very best friend (with Pooh and Belle as close seconds). It's so sweet to see her giving him kisses and snuggling him, and playing "mama" to him. She puts him in her stroller to go for walks, and will tell him to be careful because the cars will hurt him - and not to be afraid of the neighborhood dogs (just like we tell her!) It's so cute! Lately Bunny has been going EVERYWHERE with her. I'm so afraid he'll get ruined - but I just can't tell her no. (So I ordered 2 backups to have on hand just in case! Haha!)</div>
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She loves playing with balloons (with or without helium) and can blow them up herself! Her favorite thing to wear these days is bluejeans - and she insists on them almost every day. She still LOVES to be tickled every single day, and loves to play with the wire head massager we got in Thailand (it tickles her so much - and she erupts into giggles every time we get it out!) She also has a blast playing hide-and-seek. One of us will hide, and she will work with the other parent to find the one hiding! (We've found out that Papa has exceptional hiding skills! We've almost been unable to find him twice - and in our tiny house that is surprising!) Kate has also started singing more this month. She surprised me when she joined me singing "There's Just Something About That Name" one night at bedtime, and has since added "Itsy Bitsy Spider" to her repertoire (and it is adorable!) </div>
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Kate loves animals, especially if she gets to feed them. We've gone multiple times to feed the ducks and geese at the park, and she had so much fun! We also went to meet some baby goats at a local store, and she got to pet and feed those too (<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BPRQyrRjM15/?taken-by=erickabjackson">here's a cute clip!</a>) I thought we'd never get her to leave! Eventually we will have to get her a pet of some sort (once we're all more settled). </div>
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This month we've seen Kate's imagination come to life. She loves to play pretend. She will roll up her rug and pretend it's a boat and her carpet is the ocean full of fish (and then fall off the boat and have to be rescued!) She will pretend it's raining inside, open her umbrella, and pull Rusty and me under it so we don't get wet. But her FAVORITE pretend game right now is "TIGERS!" She has a toy tiger her Tutu (Rusty's mom) gave her. She got it out one day and started pretending it was attacking people! Now she will attack someone with it, yell "TIGER!", rescue them (she grabs the tiger and throws and stomps him!), and then will doctor them up. Occasionally she'll be the one attacked (complete with highly dramatic fake crying!) and then we have to rescue her and doctor her up. (Those with our password can see a clip of Dtah getting attacked and then rescued below!)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/203951197" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/203951197">Kate's Tiger</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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The most adorable thing Kate does these days though, is our family chant. One day out of nowhere Rusty started talking to her about how we were "Team Jackson". I joined the conversation and had us all put our hands in the middle to do a "TEAAAAMMM JACKSON!" chant (where we throw our hands in the air). Now it's become our little family bit, and you guys, it is the cutest thing! She will come up and say, "Team Jackson" with her little accent, hold out her hand, and wait for us to join. She just loves being reminded that we are a family, and we love having her in "Team Jackson!"<br />
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We started the morning of her birthday with chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream, sprinkles, and a candle. She told me she was si bpi (4 years old) and so was Pooh, Belle, and Bunny (so they each got a happy birthday song too!) She LOVED the 4 balloons we tied on her chair (I'm not sure if she's ever had a balloon before?) She called them "baboons" and played with them for more than an hour... pulling them around the house, giggling and clapping her hands! (Friends and family with our password - you can watch the video of our morning below!)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="361" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/202865862" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/202865862">Kate's 4th Birthday</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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The plan for the day was simple - to say "YES" as much as possible and to give Kate all of our attention. We thought we might take her to feed the ducks, get ice cream, and ride the train at the zoo - but it rained ALL day, and she was honestly happy to stay at home as long as she got to play with both of us. She sat at the window and watched the rain fall several times throughout the day, exclaiming "Fon!" (Rain!) again and again. Most kids would be sad that it rained on their birthday, but our little raindrop (Namfon) loves the rain!<br />
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We played playdough for at least an hour that morning, played with her balloons, and then coaxed her out for lunch at Surin (she was so happy to eat Thai food again! She loves Pad See Ew!) Bunny came with us to lunch, and she was SO excited when she got her own wearable baby carrier (just like ours) to put him in!<br />
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When we got home we watched Enchanted (one of her favorite movies), played playdough for another hour or two, and then Uncle Brent came for a surprise visit. Then it was time for "rockabye bunny" and reading books to her bunnies. We surprised her at the end of the night with her very first bubble bath, and she giggled all the way through it!<br />
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The night ended with one of our many beautiful Nancy Tillman books, lots of kisses from Papa, Kate singing "There's Just Something About That Name" with me, and finally falling asleep on my chest.<br />
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It was such a simple, sweet day - but it filled my heart to overflowing. We adore this beautiful, smart, funny, brave, silly, kind, compassionate little girl, and I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to get to be her Mama!<br />
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On Saturday we had the sweetest little birthday party full of precious friends for our beautiful little girl! I still can't believe I was able to throw it together after only a month home with Kate (especially when that month also included Christmas and my birthday! Whew!) - but your baby's first birthday party is too special to skip (even if it's for her 4th birthday). ✨<br />
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When we got matched with Kate at 3 years old, I grieved the lost years with her hard (and still do at times). I was heartbroken to know she'd experienced so many years (and 3 birthdays) without a family. I prayed hard for God to help us get her home before she turned 4, and dreamed of a party with 4 little cakes to represent and re-celebrate each birthday we missed. I'm so grateful that <a href="https://www.facebook.com/carrie.f.allen.1">Carrie Faucher Allen</a> (a very talented baker here in Birmingham) could fit us in to make these gorgeous cakes without much notice. Aren't they just darling!? Those delicate, gilded ruffles were almost too pretty to eat! <br />
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We kept the party short and simple. Just cake and punch with us, my parents, and the handful of neighbor kids she plays with regularly in attendance. She gasped when she saw the decorations, and spent all morning telling me in Thai that her friends were coming and that it was her birthday! Kate loved the attention, and happily stood on her chair in her tutu as everyone sang "Happy Birthday" to her 4 times! (For family and friends with the password, you can watch the video below!) I know she missed her friends from Thailand on this day (she asked for her best friend first thing that morning) and that broke my heart for her. But I'm so grateful for her new friends here who came to celebrate her! </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/202866227" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/202866227">Kate's Birthday Party</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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Kate dug into her smash cake (she may be 4, but we gave her cake #1 all for herself just like we would have on her first birthday) and it was adorable! She also let her friends help her open her presents (she is so great at sharing!) Her favorites were definitely her baby carrier, stroller, and pink umbrella!</div>
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She would not take off her birthday tutu for the rest of the day - and she was just the cutest thing wearing it around! She went outside after her party to play with her new toys in the (unexpectedly warm) January sunshine. She blew bubbles with her new bubble wand from Auntie Shell & Uncle Jaron, and pushed bunny around in her new stroller for hours. She had so much fun playing "Mama" to him!<br />
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I wish I could show you all the photos from Kate's beautiful birthday shoot, but we cannot share her face publicly (as we are still meeting our post placement requirements and waiting to finalize our adoption). She was such a little ham though! She had so much fun modeling for us! We were thrilled for the opportunity to finally do a professional shoot with her, and we're completely in love with how the images turned out. After taking pictures of families here in Birmingham through <a href="http://www.rjacksonmedia.com/">RJackson Media</a>, and children around the world for <a href="http://www.thesoundofhope.org/">The Sound of Hope</a> - it sure was special to photograph our own little girl on her special day!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Playing peek-a-boo with Mama during her first photo shoot!)</span></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Happy birthday darling! </span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">We loved celebrating you this year, </span></i></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">and we look forward to many more years of </span></i></b><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">singing Happy Birthday to YOU! </span></i></b></div>
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-20356165425943767572017-01-11T23:29:00.000-05:002017-01-27T00:07:44.101-05:00Kate's 1st Christmas Home<i>We finally have Kate's Christmas video finished (just in time to share - right before we post about her birthday AND our 2 month anniversary of meeting her! Goodness how time flies! Maybe someday I'll get caught up on this blog of mine. ;) For our friends and family with the password - simply enter it below for a short video recap of Kate's 1st Christmas HOME!</i><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/199468776" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="640"></iframe>
<a href="https://vimeo.com/199468776">Kate's 1st Christmas Home - 2016</a> from <a href="https://vimeo.com/user341374">Rusty Jackson</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.</div>
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We were so grateful to be HOME for Christmas with our little Thai darling... but we were also jet-lagged and in the midst of a huge transition for Kate, so we kept things pretty low key this year (while still making precious family memories!) Despite our jet-lag, we managed to get the tree up on the 20th (with minimal decorations), and our mantle greenery, stockings, and one nativity scene up. We let go of a lot of fun Christmas traditions, but made time for decorating Christmas cookies (they may have just been the break apart kind, but our little one still had fun with the icing and sprinkles!) and managed to make a small (out of the box) red velvet birthday cake for Jesus (a precious family tradition from when I was a child). <br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>There are cookies somewhere under all those sprinkles! ;)</i></span></div>
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Beyond that, we spent our days in our PJ's, snuggled up at home. Kate really, really liked our matching Christmas jammies, and insisted we wear them almost every day the week of Christmas (she would literally go find them in the hamper and bring them back to me and Rusty if we dared to take them off! Haha!) We spent a lot of time resting, attempting to unpack, playing with her, snuggling, and watching Christmas movies (which included watching Kate's choice of "Santa Buddies" at least 10 times a day!) We went out once to show her the Christmas lights at the zoo and to ride the train there. It was a short but sweet outing (she loved it! And she especially loved the snow machine we found on the way out of the zoo!) and I'm glad we gave it a try. We limited visits to close family so we didn't overwhelm her, and we tried to keep those visits short and spaced out. She did well though, and had some really sweet times with her Yaai & Dtah (my parents) and her Tutu (Rusty's mom, who came from Arkansas for a couple of days!)<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Kate liked her little nativity, and loved to point out Baby Jesus!</span></i></div>
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Christmas morning was absolutely precious. For those of you who are family and close friends, I'm so glad you'll be able to see her face in the video above - she was ecstatic when she saw her gifts! We tried to limit the presents, but it's difficult to reign yourself in when you've waited 4 Christmases to spoil a child. So Santa brought her a kitchen set, small trampoline, Belle doll, some movies, and a few other small gifts.<br />
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She also got a traditional Thai outfit, a book about Thailand, and a beautiful vintage Thai Barbie (she liked playing with her - but not as much as she liked brushing our hair with her tiny brush! Haha!) Her favorite gift though, was a toy bunny that wiggles his ears and hops around! <br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Our Thai darling with her Thai Barbie!</span></i></div>
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There are so many memories from this holiday that I will cherish, but my favorite moments were when we were all snuggled up on the couch at night with popcorn for "movie time" together. Last Christmas Eve, Rusty held me on that couch as I cried because I missed Kate so badly. We spent so many nights snuggled up there, year after year, waiting on our girl. We would take all the cushions off so we'd both fit, and watch our favorite shows, and dream of how our life would look different once Kate was home.<br />
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"Do you think she'll fit on the couch with us?" I'd ask. "Do you think she'll like to snuggle?" The answer to both questions is YES. After a few nights of this tradition, Kate began to jump on the couch after dinner, pat the spot beside her, call us both over, and then point for each light to be turned off (except the tree). It meant so much to me that our family snuggle time has become one of her favorite things!<br />
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<b><i>Merry Christmas darling! We're so glad you're HOME! We can't wait to make even more beautiful Christmas memories with you year after year! </i><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">❤️</span></b><br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-20947295898209778332017-01-07T21:18:00.000-05:002017-01-31T23:55:17.193-05:00One Month In Our ArmsChristmas Eve marked one month since we met our beautiful doll... and December 29th was the one month anniversary of the day we got custody of her! One month of hugs and kisses. One month of sass and sweetness - sugar and spice! One month of hairbows, sparkly shoes, and princess songs. One month of tucking our little darling into bed each night and waking up to her smile each morning. One month of snuggles and giggles and beautiful memories together! This post will recap all of her "firsts" with us so far, and some of our favorite things about Kate - but for now let me just say - I have experienced more JOY in the past month with her than I ever imagined possible! At bedtime on our 1 month-iversary" when I said "I love you", she repeated it back to me three times before I turned off the light. I thought my heart might burst! 💗<br />
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I've had friends ask if every day with Kate is magical... and the truth is, most days are more comfortable than they are magical (and there is a sweetness in the "comfortable" too!) Most of the time, it honestly feels like she's been with us forever! She fits so beautifully into our family, and she's doing so well that we have to remind ourselves that we've only had her for a month! But every now and then, the magic sneaks up and surprises me. Suddenly an ordinary moment will feel so extraordinary - because the reality that she is HERE and she is OURS will set in anew. When I get to sing her to sleep.... it's magic. Seeing her play in her room for the first time had me crying happy tears in the corner. Watching her dance to Christmas music while I make breakfast, and seeing her sitting beneath our Christmas tree at night makes my heart swell! And while opening Christmas cards addressed to "The Jackson Family of THREE" or "Rusty, Ericka, & Kate Jackson" I could not hold back the tears. There are plenty of difficult times that we are still experiencing as we adjust to life together - but then there are these moments when our life with her feels so completely picturesque... like watching my daughter play with my Dad for the first time, and hearing the song "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrWMBC6yoME">Cinderella</a>"come on my Pandora app at that exact moment. Suddenly my Dad and I were singing Kate the song we danced to on my wedding day, while she giggled. I wanted time to stand still!<br />
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We missed so many of Kate's "firsts" while we waited on her the past few years - first smile, first words, first steps... but we sure are enjoying the "firsts" we get to experience together! In the past month, Kate has enjoyed:</div>
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Her first tuk tuk ride in Chiang Mai (she would ride them all day every day if we’d let her! She LOVES tuk tuks!), first paddle boat ride in Bangkok (Swan Boats in Lumpini Park), first train ride at the Birmingham Zoo (for Zoo Light Safari), and her first airplane ride from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, Thailand! (Followed by the long trip home – Chiang Mai to Seoul to Atlanta to Bham!)</div>
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Kate also had what we believe was her first trip to the beach in Pattaya (it was just a few minutes in the carrier on our first day after custody - but we'll say it counts!), the aquarium in Bangkok (she loved the penguins, otters, sea turtles, and sea horses), and the Zoo in Chiang Mai (she loved the elephant, birds, and tiny monkeys!)<br />
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We've taken our little girl on her first shopping trips too – to the mall in Chiang Mai for her first (shiny silver) tennis shoes (she never wants to take them off now!), and to the night bazaar (she picked out a bracelet and a coin purse).<br />
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And of course our most favorite "first" so far, was having Kate here for her first Christmas HOME with her family!!! It's taking me longer than expected to update my blog (personal time is few and far between these days) - but I hope to have a recap of Christmas (and a video) to share here with you all soon!<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">A few more things about Kate...</span></i></div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">SLEEP</span></u></b></div>
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I prayed so hard that I would have a good little sleeper… while literally EVERYONE told me to kiss sleep goodbye. Luckily, God knew just what I needed! Kate sleeps anywhere from 9-12 hours a night (she even pulled a 14 hour night our first 2 nights home after travel!) She also takes a 1-2 hour nap most days. She is fully potty trained and only had one nighttime accident the first month with us. She loves bathtime before bed (she had never had a warm bath before... only cold showers at the orphanage due to the heat), putting on her PJs, and brushing her teeth. (One night she brushed them 8 times in a row!) We have only had 3 nights of “grief” that came either before or after a big move/transition (the first night of custody, then the night before the trip from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, and the night after we traveled from Chiang Mai home to America). She is a bit of a night owl and fights sleep at times (melatonin helps with that), but once she’s down – she is a sound sleeper! When she wakes up in the morning - she is a happy girl, who likes to stay in bed and snuggle a bit with Papa before eating breakfast. We loved co-sleeping with her in Thailand and our first few days home, but she decided on her own that she wanted to start sleeping in her own bed Christmas Eve Eve! (And her Mama cried! I wasn't ready for that yet!) She ends up in our bed sometime in the middle of the night still (each night), but I'm proud of how brave she is wanting to sleep in her own bed.</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">FOOD</span></u></b></div>
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She is a GREAT eater. She has eaten almost everything we’ve offered – at least while we were in Thailand (though we usually were offering familiar Thai food). She has been more picky now that we’re home, but we’ve tried to keep rice, noodles, and spaghetti (all her favorites) in rotation often. She has no food issues as far as we can tell – she does not hoard or overeat. She will even share snacks happily with Mama and Papa, and with her friends too! Her favorite "treats" are gummy bears, gingerale, sprite, and anything chocolate!</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">LANGUAGE</span></u></b></div>
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We have definitely slowed down her English acquisition with the fact that we speak basic Thai... but it's just been so much easier to actually be able to explain things in a way she can understand (instead of forcing English on her). We primarily spoke Thai to her in Thailand, but are working on more English now that we're home. Her English vocabulary right now consists of, "Mama, Papa, Baby, Puppy, Bunny, Pooh, Belle, Airplane, Yup, No, Yucky, Yummy, Banana, Apple, Medicine, Potty, Bath, Uh Oh, WOW, Please, and OTAY!" (okay) - plus some people's names (friends and family) - which I think is pretty good for only 2 weeks of English immersion. She will repeat other things, but these are words she uses on her own. She can also sing "Happy Birthday" in English (I think she learned that at the orphanage), and every time she sees a candle she thinks it's time to sing "Happy Birthday" and blow it out! Haha! (Her birthday is going to be so much fun!) She can also do a few of her ABC's and 123's (which is something she was learning at the orphanage in her English classes!)</div>
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<b><u><span style="font-size: large;">FAVORITES</span></u></b></div>
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These are a few of Kate's favorite things (right now anyway!) After not really being interested in stuffed animals the first 1-2 weeks with us, she now loves her Pooh Bear, Belle doll, and Bunny. She is constantly watching “Tigger lah Pooh” (My friends Tigger and Pooh) and watching the videos (in Thai) of the songs "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8JsAm1X6Qg">A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes</a>", “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1veScaxAoLc">How Does She Know</a>”, and "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQJLuxKs0EM">The Farang Song</a>"! She loves being tickled, dancing, and GOING! Whether it's in the car (she hasn't cried once getting into her carseat), a train, tuk tuk, or an airplane. She loves to watch the airplanes that come over our house too! </div>
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Now that we're home she likes her baby dolls (she takes their clothes off and on a million times)... but during our hotel stays she loved playing “elevator" (our closet was her pretend elevator), playing with rolls of toilet paper (she would make herself clothes out of them! Haha! She looked like a mummy!), and playing with the phone in the hotel room (we had to detach the phone line so she wouldn't call other rooms!) She also loves the water – whether she’s swimming, taking a bath, or just playing in the faucet. Sometimes she’ll wash her hands a half dozen times just so she can continue to play! </div>
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Kate loves animals, and is OBSESSED with "puppies" right now. She has watched the movie "Santa Buddies" (the one with the golden retriever characters) at least a hundred times since we got home! I don't think she's ever been around animals, and now she squeals every time she sees a dog. I am grateful that we have so many "puppies" on our street (a bulldog, german shepherd, corgi, golden doodle, and 2 labs) and for our sweet neighbors who patiently let her look at them and pet them all the time! </div>
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At least once a day we play a little game we've made up called "Mai Sabai". Rusty asks Kate in Thai, "Sabaidee Mai?" (Are you well?) and if she wants to be tickled, she responds, "Mai Sabai!" (I am not well!) Then she gets tickled until she yells, "Sabaidee Mak Mak!" (I'm very, very good!) Her giggle is the new soundtrack to our lives! </div>
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In the midst of our brutally long wait to be matched with a child, I remember having an emotional conversation with a fellow adoptive mom one afternoon. I don't remember the details about what we said that day, but I do remember one thing she told me, "<b>You cannot miss your child.</b>" She reminded me that God knew exactly who our daughter was, and that no matter how much time passed or how many errors we dealt with in our case, we couldn't possibly "miss" her. I wanted desperately to believe my friend, but at that time I thought, "How crazy. We could be matched with any number of kids, and the truth is - we'll love any child we are matched with." And while that might be true - after meeting Kate - there is not a doubt in my mind that <b>she</b> is specifically ours! It is no mistake she's in our family. All that waiting wasn't for "any child" - it was specifically for <b>HER</b>. She was handpicked from heaven for us, and it's so evident that she is OURS!</div>
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Kate is definitely <b>Rusty’s child</b> because she loves sweeping with her broom, and she always wants everything (including her) to be clean. If a single piece of spaghetti falls on the table she wants it wiped up on the spot! And if her hands and face get messy, she begs for a wet wipe! She also likes to take photos and videos (just like her photographer/videographer Papa). She has so much fun with her wooden toy camera – telling us where to stand and how to pose. And she has taken no less than 10,000 selfies and photos on our iPhones (usually pretty bad ones blocked by her little thumb. Haha!) She is also athletic like Papa, and can pitch and hit a foam ball with her foam bat, and catch and throw a football surprisingly well. And then there is the most special "sign" that she is Rusty's child... on our 2nd visit we realized that Kate has a birthmark on the back of her right hand – exactly like Rusty had when he was her age! Isn't that amazing?<br />
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She is definitely <b>my child</b> because – she is for sure a girly girl! Kate loves to have bows in her hair and at least once a day she'll put her hand on her hip, cock her head to the side and ask, "Soi mai kha?" (Am I pretty? YES you are baby girl!!!) She also loves to pose for photos just like her modeling Mama! Kate likes lotion, anything you can spray that smells good (perfume, hairspray, febreeze, essential oils, etc), and pretending to put on makeup. She LOVES shoes – and her first few days home she would rather change my shoes for me 15 times (I wore dress shoes with pajamas a lot those days!) than play with her toys! She also loves princess songs, princess dolls, and crowns. She got a Princess Sophia doll as a Christmas gift, and within 10 seconds of having her out of the box she’d taken her crown off to put it on herself! Haha! That’s my girl! (She was certainly <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/07/my-crown.html">named appropriately</a>! ;) She likes to sing and dance – and loves to have music playing. She has already figured out how to work her toy microphone at home (thanks Aunt Kristian!) and in our hotel room in Chiang Mai she would pull the coffee table up to the bed to create a “stage” for herself to dance on! She also loves bunnies – which makes me smile! </div>
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There are so many other memories I wish I could record, but for now I want to write down a few more things I don’t want to forget about Kate at this age... like the smell of her sweet little head, how soft her skin is, and how her precious little voice sounds saying “Mama!”. The first time she kissed me, what she looks like when she's sleeping, and how her tiny hand fits into mine. Hearing her try to sing along to my worship music, hearing her read to herself in “toddler Thai”, and the sound of her giggle (it is the best sound in the world!) The first time she saw a photo of me dressed as Belle (she gasped and smiled!), her bragging to the other kids about how pretty her mama is (we were told she did this every day after our visits to the orphanage! So sweet!), seeing her mimic me and pretend to put on makeup in my lap, and the very first time she said, “Love you Mama!” </div>
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<i><b>If you're still reading this long post, and you're considering adoption (or even if you're not) - please say YES!</b> <b>Start the process NOW! Every child is precious, and every child deserves a family. Kate has been the biggest blessing we've ever received! There is no way I could ever love a biological child more than I love this little girl. I can't believe that we could've missed her if we had said "no" to adoption - or if we'd given up when things got hard. My worst day with her is so much better than my best day without her. She was absolutely worth the wait! 💗 </b></i></div>
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-45290220466642971902016-12-23T17:57:00.001-05:002016-12-23T19:36:52.109-05:00Welcome Home Kate! <div style="text-align: center;">
We are <b>HOME</b> with our beautiful daughter. </div>
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We are <i>finally</i> home with her in our arms... and it still feels completely surreal! </div>
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We left Chiang Mai, Thailand around midnight on Saturday night, December 17th - which was hard on our little girl who loves to sleep! Kate usually gets anywhere from 9-12 hours of sleep a night. Our first 5 hour flight was a rough one - with it being in the middle of the night, we had a very sleepy, fussy girl on our hands. She cried hysterically for the last hour - and we were so afraid the rest of the travel day would look the same way! But as soon as we got her out of the plane to play in the Seoul airport, she was our happy girl again! We ran around with her a LOT there, boarded our 13 hour flight to Atlanta, and she slept peacefully for 6-7 hours! She finished the flight by playing with the kiddos in front of us (they shared stickers back and forth through the seats for an hour. She is such a good sharer!) She even hugged them goodbye - it was precious!<br />
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When we landed in Atlanta, I started getting emotional. After the traumatic 5 year process we have been through - I could barely believe we were finally on US soil with our daughter!!! I got teary when we saw the US Immigration sign, and cried when we hit the customs line. Our adoption still won't be completely final for another 1-2 years (we still have to do post placement reports, finalization in the US, and finalization with the Thai consulate) - but having her here in America is such a HUGE step!!! She was fantastic through customs (we have such a great kid ya'll!), and was excited to let me change her into her cute Christmas PJ's before our final flight HOME!<br />
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I was not prepared for how emotional that last flight would be. Many of you who have been following our story on <a href="http://instagram.com/erickabjackson">Instagram</a> and Facebook know that Kate has been pushing me away a lot - sometimes all day, every day. It's been hard and heartbreaking. But it has slowly gotten better and better - and on our travel days we finally turned a corner! She finally started asking for me again - wanting to sit in my lap sometimes, and rarely pushed my hand away when I reached out to comfort her. She started the final flight on Rusty's lap, but once we took off she decided she wanted to sit with me!<br />
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What happened next felt like a dream. She got out my phone because she wanted to listen to music (this little girl loves music, loves to hear Mama sing, and has already started dancing and trying to sing along when she hears us play songs in English!) She especially loves worship songs. I turned on my playlist for our trip - which includes the song "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLXK-C08hps">Mine To Love</a>" - our song for Kate's adoption. Every time I have heard this song for the past 4 years - I have seen our little girl in my mind. A mini video would play in my head and heart each time I heard those words... of us meeting her for the first time... hugging and kissing her for the first time... hearing her giggle and seeing her smile... and of course, us coming home with her. Well, imagine my surprise when she took out the earbuds we'd given her, put one in my ear so that I could hear too, and happened to "skip" to the song, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLXK-C08hps">Mine to Love</a>". It came on just as we started our descent to Birmingham, and I could not hold back the tears. (Luckily, she was focused on the phone and couldn't see me crying!)<br />
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More than anything, I wanted to walk into our Airport Homecoming with my daughter in my arms. I've dreamed of that moment for years... but with her preferring Rusty so strongly, I just knew it wasn't going to happen. There have been a lot of times in this process that I felt like God was distant... but on this day, I was reminded that He is very present, and He is still a God of detail. Kate wanted Mama after the flight - and that's what she got! We rushed through the airport with butterflies in our stomachs, hearts beating faster than ever, and the biggest smiles on our faces! Kate hopped on the escalator holding Mama's hand (she wanted to ride it with her Pooh Bear!), and my darling little girl was in my arms when we ran into our parents' arms!<br />
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I am crying again as I type this blog and see these photos. More than anything I wanted to sit down and sob in that airport - tears of relief, JOY, and thanksgiving! But Kate has never seen me cry - and I didn't want to scare her when she was doing so well! So I let myself cry a little (as you can see in the photos below - I couldn't help but cry the moment I had my baby girl in my arms, and I had made it back to <i>my</i> mama's arms!), but I tried to hold back the tears (until I came home and truly let them go once I saw her playing happily in <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/a-room-for-kate.html">her beautiful room</a>!)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[Introducing Kate to her Yaai and Dtah! (my parents)] </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfYrUQrQTK7eJEHuXyHEujaSLtdic-mRq8Eqmvy-HtK-oBV2x7RX8h6kp8UnDyh3sdPtruGnZXexTkPlYB0Fw7jWht8aO10urYyx5yQwx2eQQ7x7121G1qrqxNn-04_EXe5RhfKXjV4N4/s1600/HC+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfYrUQrQTK7eJEHuXyHEujaSLtdic-mRq8Eqmvy-HtK-oBV2x7RX8h6kp8UnDyh3sdPtruGnZXexTkPlYB0Fw7jWht8aO10urYyx5yQwx2eQQ7x7121G1qrqxNn-04_EXe5RhfKXjV4N4/s640/HC+3.jpg" width="640" /></a><span style="font-size: x-small;">[This was such a special moment! </span><span style="font-size: x-small;">I'm so grateful my mom made it through her spinal surgery well </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">and was able to be at the airport to meet her first grandchild! I couldn't hold back the tears!!!]</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[Kate meeting some of her soon to be best friends - Piper, Karis, and Evie - as all her grandparents look on!]</span> </div>
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She was a total HAM at the airport - LOVING the attention, and putting on a show for everyone! Every time we counted "nung, song, sam!" (one, two, three!) for a photo she would throw her hand into the air and yell - "YAY!!!" It was hilarious! She loved meeting her family and friends (those who could make it) - just as long as she was in Mama or Papa's arms (which shows great attachment! We were really pleased to see that!) Towards the end when the crowd thinned out, she would run back and forth to me and Rusty and jump into our arms to be spun around. (I told ya'll - she loves to put on a show! Haha!) She is just so much fun!!!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[Kate with her Yaai & Dtah] </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[Kate with her Tutu and Pappy] </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">[Kate meeting all her new friends! These babies have helped pray her home, and they were all SO excited!]</span></div>
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December 18th will always be a special day in this family! To everyone who came to welcome us at the airport (and to Heather who took these beautiful photos - and <a href="http://www.crookedtreeproductions.com/">Kali</a> who shot the video that we'll share here soon) - <b>we can't thank you enough!</b> We know this is a busy time of year, but it meant the world to us to see your smiling faces (and special signs!) when we came down that escalator! You gave us such a beautiful homecoming, and it is a memory that we will never forget. Thank you for being there to welcome Kate home at last!<br />
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<b>And now, our "Happily Ever After" begins... </b><span style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;"><b>♥</b></span><b style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;">♥</b><b><span style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif;">♥</span></b></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">I apologize that this update was delayed a few days, but our first few days home we were both deliriously happy - and delirious from exhaustion. Haha! A 26 hour travel day + jet lag with a 3 year old will really wear you out! Luckily we have an awesome little sleeper - she got 14 hours the first two nights home, and 9 hours the next two nights. These days we are sleeping when she sleeps though - because she insists we go to bed together (we are co-sleeping) which means we aren't getting much of anything done, but that's okay! We go to bed early, wake up early, and play with her all day every day. Our bags are still mostly packed, we have up minimal Christmas decorations (a barely decorated tree + stockings is it this year!), and we can't leave the house without her getting extremely upset (there is still fear that we won't come back!) - so our 2 trips out have had to be as a family of three. This is why "cocooning" is so important! She is still learning what it means to have a family! </span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">These first few days home we've been focused primarily on giving Kate as much attention as she wants. This is another big transition for her, and she's in a house with walls between us (she can't see us if she's in another room here - versus our time in Thailand where we were in studio style hotel rooms!) So we play a lot together wherever she wants to be, and we come running every time we hear "Mama! Papa!" so that she knows we're there! </span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">She is getting to know the neighborhood children and loving having playmates again! Right now she is outside riding her little pink tricycle with "Papa" and our neighbor friends - so I was able to sneak away and post this blog. Stay tuned for more updates (just as soon as I can slip away and write them!) We have so much we want to share about our beautiful little girl! </span></i><br />
<i><br /></i>Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-32926713948822923352016-12-13T23:49:00.001-05:002016-12-13T23:49:59.676-05:00I'll Be Home For ChristmasToday marks exactly two weeks since we took custody of Kate, and we are completely in love with our precious little girl! I apologize for not being able to post any blog updates - but I'm trying to be as present as possible as we take our first steps as a family of three. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with my blog during this trip - but I have been posting a short update each day on Facebook and Instagram - so feel free to follow along there if you aren't already (Here are the links to <a href="https://www.instagram.com/erickabjackson/">Ericka's</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/rustyajackson/">Rusty's</a>, & <a href="https://www.instagram.com/misskatejackson/">Kate's personal account</a> for family & friends!)<br />
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I do have a lot on my heart that I want to share once we're home - so stay tuned for plenty of blogs to come about our sweet Kate! Today though, it's time to finally announce that we've booked our tickets - and we'll all be...<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>... HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!</i></b></span></div>
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We leave Chiang Mai, Thailand this Saturday night (Saturday morning to all of you). We'll fly to Seoul, S. Korea (5 hours + a layover), Atlanta (13 hours + a layover), and then <b><span style="font-size: large;"><i>we'll finally land at the <a href="http://www.flybirmingham.com/flying-in/arrivals/">Birmingham airport</a> at 12:52 pm this Sunday afternoon, December 18th!</i></span></b><br />
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We will be having an "Airport Homecoming Party" - as many adoptive families do. If you're a personal friend or family member, you are welcome to come and greet us when we land! We know there are so many people who are anxious to meet Kate, and this will be the fastest and easiest way to make that happen. We can all celebrate our homecoming together, have a short visit, and then the three of us will need to hurry home to get some rest after a very long, overwhelming travel day.<br />
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We are flying on Delta - so we'll be coming through that area of the airport for "arrivals". We ask that you all please meet in a group <b>at the bottom of the escalators</b> for us to come down to you! (If for any reason our flight is delayed, we'll do our best to post an update on Facebook!)<br />
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<b>We have just a few rules for those who greet us at the airport <i>(please make sure to read them all the way through!) </i></b><br />
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<b>#1</b> - <b>Please do NOT pick up Kate.</b> There is a good chance she'll be in her carrier - strapped to one of us - but if she isn't, please do NOT hold your arms out to pick her up. If she reaches for you - please shake your head "no" and point to either myself or Rusty and say "Mama or Papa". It is very important for attachment and bonding that she not be held by anyone but the two of us for quite some time.<br />
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<b>#2</b> - <b>Please give Kate some space.</b> If she is in our carrier strapped to one of our chests, you can hug whomever is carrying her, but please try not to overwhelm Kate. You can greet her by talking to her and waving to her (she knows the sign language for "I love you" if you want to do that too!) - but <b>please do NOT kiss her</b> (it's flu season and she has not been exposed to the germs in America) and <b>please do not touch her intentionally</b> (such as stroking her face, arm, leg, head, etc - she does not like to be touched when she's feeling overwhelmed). If she's doing really well with everything happening, we'll tell you if you are able to hug or touch her. (For the record though - she is more likely to be okay with kids touching her than adults.)<br />
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<b>#3</b> - <b>Please allow our parents to meet their granddaughter FIRST before rushing to us.</b> This is their first grandchild on both sides - so it's important that they have a few minutes to greet her (and they get to hug and kiss her!) before she meets everyone else. You'll know my mom - because she'll have a HUGE banner with Kate's photo and a castle on it. (I haven't seen it, but I've heard about it. Haha.) She has recently had back surgery, so please be gentle with her too!<br />
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<b>#4</b> - <b>Please stay for a group photo! </b>We will have friends shooting a video and photos of our homecoming celebration, and we'd love to have everyone stay (after the "meeting and greeting" is over) for a group photo! It will be special to have a photo of all of you that Kate can look back on for years to come!<br />
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We have no idea how this little "party" will go - so please be understanding if Kate is overwhelmed, quiet and withdrawn, or upset. We will have just had a very long travel day, and she'll be seeing a LOT of unfamiliar faces. We have videoed 4 different adoption homecomings in the past few years, and every child handles them differently. While we hope you'll get to see some of our sweet, sassy girl's big personality - the most important thing is for us to make her feel safe.<br />
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Once we are home, we'll be "cocooning" with Kate. This is a term that adoptive parents use to describe a time where they stay home a lot, and they focus on bonding and attachment between them and their child. I will try to post a longer blog explaining what that looks like exactly - but the short answer is that we'll need to be sure that Rusty and I are the only ones caring for Kate. This means only "Mama" and "Papa" will hold, comfort, and feed Kate. It also means we'll need to focus on helping her adjust to being home, getting in a new routine, and keeping her world small for a little while. She has grown up in an orphanage with multiple caregivers for her entire life. She doesn't understand what a family is yet, or what "home" even means. So please understand that we won't be able to have visitors at first - as we work to make her feel safe, loved, and well adjusted in our home!<br />
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<i><b>Okay friends - I'll share more later... but we look forward to seeing some of you on December 18th! We can't wait to introduce you to our beautiful baby girl! </b></i><b style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; text-align: center;">♥</b></div>
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<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-18787563226206051162016-12-01T10:43:00.000-05:002016-12-01T10:43:40.314-05:00Miracle after MiracleMonday was an exhausting day. We took an <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/were-still-fighting.html">unexpected trip to Bangkok</a> in an attempt to get our fingerprints re-done by the USCIS office here, after yet another error/issue/obstacle in our case. We were granted some serious favor by that office - since they allowed us to do our fingerprints again, but we weren't sure how long it would take for them to be in the system and sent to the US Embassy. We knew we had to wait for both of those things to happen, as well as wait for the Embassy to issue our Article 5, before we could take custody of our daughter. We were hoping and praying that maybe, just maybe, we would have custody by the end of the week.<br />
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<b>But we had no idea what God had in store for us over the next 24 hours.</b></div>
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In August of 2015, a perfect stranger spoke a prophetic word to us about our adoption. Not knowing anything about our case at the time (and having no idea about how long we'd waited or any of the obstacles we'd faced) - she said she saw a vision of God "<b>cutting the red tape</b>". She even asked us to put a piece of red tape in our daughter's doorway and to cut it - as a symbol of faith that God would do this on our behalf. (In case you haven't been following along... if they made a movie about our adoption it would either be titled "<a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/a-girl-worth-fighting-for.html">WWIII</a>" or "RED TAPE". Seriously - the "excessive rules and formalities" that have been applied to our case have been mind blowing. This was definitely a word from God.)<br />
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A month later, the craziest thing happened. On our last Sunday before we left for a work trip to Africa, a woman at a church we were visiting prayed over us (for our trip). Halfway through the prayer she stopped and asked, "Do you have children?" When we replied we were adopting, she closed her eyes and nodded knowingly. "Uh huh.... hmmm... yes.... <b>I see an image of God cutting the red tape</b>..." - I seriously almost came apart. How could she possibly know? It was our first time at this church, and once again she knew nothing about us or our story!<br />
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We thought for sure we would see God move in an extraordinary way at some point very soon. We cut a piece of red tape in the doorway to our daughter's room, and left the two pieces in the frame as a reminder of our faith. We prayed, and hoped, and waited in anticipation for God to make His move evident. But a year passed, and it never came.<br />
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We thought for sure the "<a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/09/when-your-mountain-doesnt-move.html">August word</a>" God gave me had something to do with the red tape... but nothing happened in August. And then we thought maybe our <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/10/light-in-darkness.html">Article 16</a> coming earlier than expected was the beginning of God cutting the red tape... but soon after that we came up against even more obstacles. By the time we left for Thailand - we still didn't have the approvals we needed (we only left because we knew we could visit our daughter, even if we couldn't take custody). I actually got pretty furious about that "red-tape word" because my faith had run out for anything extraordinary to happen. In a moment of anger one day this Fall, I ripped the red tape remnants out of Kate's bedroom doorway and threw them away.<br />
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In November, we booked our <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/one-way-tickets.html">one-way tickets to Thailand</a>. While on the phone with <a href="http://www.adoptionairfare.com/">Adoption Airfare</a>, our agent asked if she could pray with us about hopefully getting approval to make the December 1st Board Date. As she prayed - out of no where she said, "And God, we're just asking you to <b>cut the red tape</b> to make a way for this family..." - I was instantly in tears again. When I told her the significance of those words, she said she NEVER uses that phrase and "didn't know where it came from". I wondered then if maybe God was up to something? Could it be that something miraculous could happen, and we could make the December 1st Board Date (and be home with our daughter for Christmas?)<br />
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We tried to be brave and hopeful, but it was hard to be expectant after so many disappointments. We were courageous enough to come to Thailand though - even though our agency advised against it. Somewhere, deep inside, there was a tiny flicker of hope still burning in me. I knew that we needed to be ready, "just in case" God moved on our behalf. But then the US Embassy set a deadline for November 22nd, and our fingerprint refresh didn't come in by then. So our hopes were dashed. We weren't even sure if we would get custody before December 1st... and we definitely weren't going to make the December 1st Adoption Board Meeting. We tried to focus on the positives - at least we got to visit our daughter (and hoped to have custody soon). At least we'd be with her for Christmas - even if we were stuck in Thailand. We bought an advent calendar here and some toys for Christmas morning, extended our hotel stay, and bought groceries for the week.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">BUT GOD...</span></b></div>
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We thought we'd be stuck in Thailand for weeks to come... but God had a different plan (and we're so glad He did!) It turns out... He was just sharpening His sword and would soon be slashing <b><i>ALL the red tape!</i></b><br />
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Not only did the USCIS office in Bangkok grant us favor Monday by redoing our fingerprints.... they had our new fingerprints in the system less than 12 hours later. By Monday night, we had an email from our very kind USCIS officer in America, who'd been checking constantly (for days) for our refresh to come through. She instantly uploaded the information so that the NVC and US Embassy could see it, and sent out a notice to us and our adoption agency. The agency then forwarded the information on to the US Embassy on our behalf, and we let the Orphanage Director here (Khun Toy) know late Monday night that we were just waiting on the Embassy to respond with our Article 5!<br />
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The plan on Tuesday was to go pick up our daughter and her best friend for another visit to our hotel to go swimming at the pool (just like we'd done on Saturday afternoon). But this time, we'd have our longest visit thus far. We came downstairs packed for the pool (even wearing our swimsuits under our clothes) - but instead of Khun Toy waiting in the car, she was waiting in the lobby. "We need to talk," she said. "I have been calling the DSDW about the Board Meeting. I have talked to the supervisor, and they agreed that if your Article 5 comes TODAY by 3pm, they will give you the December 1st Board Meeting."<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i>"WHAT?!?" </i></span>- Rusty and I were in shock. Khun Toy had been working behind the scenes to advocate for us - what a gift! We quickly got my computer to write the Embassy and let them know the latest news. We felt a flicker of hope - even though we knew we'd passed the Embassy's deadline. Would they make an exception for us? <b>Would God cut THIS red tape? </b>Was there any way this might be possible?<br />
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It seemed utterly and completely impossible. We'd exhausted all our hope and faith - but God wasn't done with our story yet. The next few hours were a WHIRLWIND. What was supposed to just be a visit to swim at our hotel, turned into us being granted custody when an email arrived from the Embassy. <b>They said YES! Yes to our Article 5, and YES to a December 1st Board Date!</b><br />
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As soon as she heard the news, Khun Toy made calls to all the necessary departments and supervisors, and 3 more "yeses" were confirmed. Rusty and I stared wide-eyed at each other, while Kate begged to go to the pool (clueless about what was happening around her!) Within a matter of minutes we went from not knowing when we'd get custody of our daughter (and planning to be here in Thailand until January) - to having custody, taking our first "official" steps as a family, making plans to attend the December 1st Board Meeting, and realizing...<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>WE'LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!</i></span></b></div>
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In the past 48 hours we cancelled our hotel stay in Pattaya, started taking care of our daughter 24/7, packed ALL our bags (with a precious child who wanted to be held every moment - Lord help me, it was my worst packing job ever!), called our families to tell them the news, sent all our gifts for the children and caregivers to the orphanage (we're still so sad we didn't get to say goodbye! We thought we'd be back there Friday!), moved all our things and ourselves to Bangkok (1.5 hours away), got settled into a new hotel, got our paperwork in order, and attended an extremely important Child Adoption Board Meeting at the DSDW.<br />
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Honestly, I think I was in a kind of blissful shock for the first few hours. Here we were, suddenly responsible for this precious little girl - and suddenly and the midst of a tornado of decisions, changing plans, and things to do. It didn't really set in for me until she was fast asleep in our bed next to her Pooh Bear. And then, I took a minute to stand across the room and quietly cry tears of relief, JOY, and thanksgiving.<br />
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I still don't know how everything happened so fast. We have heard some of the details of how it all came to pass and I will tell you that they are extraordinary! The Thai Adoption Board is so kind and compassionate. They really care about their children and adoptive families! When they realized they could make this happen for us and we could make it home for Christmas, they bent over backwards to make it possible. The director told us today it was her Christmas gift to us, and we thanked her profusely! I was so moved by their love and kindness, and we really enjoyed our meeting with them today. They asked us a lot about our work with <a href="http://www.thesoundofhope.org/">The Sound of Hope</a>, and were pleasantly surprised to hear us speak Thai! They even asked if we would consider adopting again (who knows what God has in store for us?!)<br />
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I still can't believe we've done all this with a brand new (to us) child - and we're actually all doing well. Honestly, our little girl is a dream come true, and she has amazed us with how well she is adjusting and attaching. I'll try to post another blog soon with more details - but you guys, we are in awe of our little Thai darling! She's been sad about this transition because she misses her caregivers and her friends at the orphanage (which is totally healthy. We're so glad she was loved and cared for well - and that it was hard for her to say goodbye! <a href="http://www.thepattayaorphanage.org/or/?page_id=17">Pattaya Orphanage</a> really has an incredible level of care!) - but 97% of the day she is genuinely happy and having fun. She's well behaved, so sweet, funny, and has a huge personality! She loves to laugh, is eating well, and sleeping surprisingly well too. She also seems to really like both of us, and wants us both with her all the time. She loves to snuggle and be held, and fills our room with giggles! We feel so lucky and blessed that she is ours!<br />
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The past 2 days God has cut SO much red tape in this adoption process.... but we also believe that He cut away the "red tape" from our daughter's heart too. We never dreamed our first few days as a family would feel so natural and easy. Waking up with her beside us each morning is amazing. This morning she let me fix her hair in cute little pigtails for the very first time (she loves her bows Kristin!), and I put her in the <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/03/faith-or-foolishness.html">little bunny dress</a> I blogged about <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/03/faith-or-foolishness.html">here</a>. To see her walking down the hall in that dress, hand in hand with her "Papa" on the way to the Board Meeting was so surreal. We are truly enjoying our time together, and we're amazed at the work God is doing to bond our little family!<br />
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<b>Thank you to all of you who have prayed for us so far. </b>We went so long with what seemed like unanswered prayers in our adoption. I still don't understand why we had to wait almost 5 years for our little girl, and I still don't understand the purpose of much of our pain. But I do believe that (as I said in <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/05/kates-tv-debut.html">this blog</a>) God was "taking His time to gather a crowd to watch a show that would bring Him glory". He is often an 11th hour God - and He absolutely came through for us in a MIRACULOUS way at <i>the very last minute!</i> We have seen miracle after miracle in the past 48 hours. This truly felt like the parting of the Red Sea... and we're still amazed that we walked through on dry land!<br />
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God really does write the best stories. Today was a historic day for our family, and a historic day for our daughter's country too. As Kate stepped into our lives completely (with this momentous approval from the Thai Adoption Board) and we descended the stairs at the DSDW as a family, the new Thai King ascended the throne. I watched video coverage during dinner, holding our little girl (in her princess pajamas) in my lap. This joyous day will be remembered in Thai history forever... and in our family's history forever too!<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(I wish you could see the face of our "Joyous Thai"! She has a beautiful smile!)</i></span></div>
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Please continue to cover our family in your prayers. Tomorrow we have Kate's medical appointment at the hospital - which will be a difficult day (even with such an easy, awesome child!) So please pray for her little heart to be able to trust us. We really wanted a week to bond as a family before the Board Meeting and the Medical Appointment - but that just wasn't in the cards. Once the appointment is done though, we'll have a few days to rest. Then hopefully (if the medical results are back in time), we'll have our visa appointment early next week!<br />
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We're still unsure of when we'll be coming home. We would like to take our daughter to Chiang Mai for at least a week to enjoy time with her in the city where we lived back in 2011, and to introduce her to some dear friends. We know it will be a few years before we're able to travel here with her again... so we want to take this opportunity to make some special memories together in Thailand! But once we've booked our flights home, we'll definitely let you all know (and we'll let you know when the "Airport Welcome Home Party" is happening!) It may only be a few days before Christmas.... but this mama is on Cloud 9 knowing I'll see my little girl beneath my Christmas tree on Christmas morning! What a dream come true!!! <b style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13.52400016784668px; text-align: center;">♥</b><br />
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-72802377079583518422016-11-28T11:55:00.000-05:002016-11-28T13:00:00.982-05:00We're Still FightingI have waited almost 5 years to hold my daughter. The anticipation for that special moment has been building for so, so long. I have literally dreamed of it - both waking and asleep. To say I had some expectations would be an understatement.<br />
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Not for Kate really... I know enough about adoption (and am friends with enough adoptive families) to know not to hope for anything extraordinary from our little girl. I expected nothing beyond her to maybe be scared, or to even be crying the day we met. We were pleasantly surprised to get giggles and hugs on <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/worth-wait.html">Day 1</a>! But for myself.... whoa did I have some expectations.<br />
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I expected to cry tears of joy. I expected a flood of emotions. I expected the first time I held her to feel magical somehow (am I alone in this?) Silly - maybe - but when you wait and work and wage WAR to get to something.... to someone... you expect that moment to be pretty epic.<br />
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I've been disappointed with myself for how my heart is struggling to engage. Don't get me wrong - I've experienced some serious moments of joy with our little girl so far! She is more beautiful than we ever imagined, and so much fun! We have seen little glimpses of her personality that make us so excited to get to know her! I am incredibly grateful that I am here - able to hold her - instead of still at home, waiting to meet her. But if I'm being honest - I don't feel like her mama yet. With <a href="http://www.thesoundofhope.org/">the work we do</a>, right now my "visits" with her feel a lot like my visits with other kids I love in our Children's Homes around the world. It is hard to see her as my daughter, Kate. Right now she answers to Namfon, and after every visit she goes back to an orphanage.<br />
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If I'm being really, truly honest - I don't even feel that attached to her yet. I know that after all these years of loving her from afar I SHOULD! But I mostly feel tired. And scared. And overwhelmed. And a little numb.<br />
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I've cried and felt guilty over it - even though I know plenty of friends who struggled with attachment to their adopted child. I've shamed myself - even though our agency told us that after what we've experienced (a traumatic adoption) - we might struggle to attach. But the more I've thought about our situation, the more I've started to give myself grace. Of COURSE I don't feel a sense of peace, relief, overwhelming joy and abounding love.... <b>I AM STILL <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/a-girl-worth-fighting-for.html">IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR</a></b>.<br />
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We thought we'd have our final approval before we met our daughter - but that day, along with our 2nd visit - were both overshadowed by the looming "unknown" of when we'd be able to take custody. And then, just hours before visit #3, we got the devastating news that our fingerprint refresh (that should have come in "any day") didn't come at all.<br />
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Someone in the US government made a mistake, and our fingerprints did NOT get refreshed. Honestly, my head is still swimming from that news. Before we left the country, I confirmed with 3 different USCIS officers on 3 different dates that all we had to do was send an email and request for our fingerprints to be updated. They explained that they would then forward the request to the FBI, and within 1-5 weeks, they would be "refreshed" in the system. At that time, we could take custody of our daughter. We were never, ever, ever told that there was any risk of it not happening. But of course it did happen, to us.<br />
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So here we are, in Thailand - at a time when we should be focused on bonding with our daughter - still fighting for our final approval. On days when we should be taking our first steps as a family, and focusing on how sweet she looks when she sleeps, and how cute she is with her Pooh Bear - we are still fighting for custody and visiting her at an orphanage. And on top of all that, we're fighting for physical health, as I have dealt with a migraine and 2 tension headaches the last 3 days, as well as nausea the last 2 nights. (It's amazing the toll that stress can take on your body). We're also fighting for our spiritual and emotional health in the face of all this stress and trauma.... oh yes, AND we're fighting for our daughter's heart. Every single moment spent with her we are fighting to connect, fighting to bond, fighting to make her feel loved and safe with us.<br />
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No wonder I feel exhausted and numb.<br />
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This should be a time for snuggles and laughter and tears and joy and "firsts" - and a feeling of relief that she is finally ours - but <b>we're. still. fighting. </b>This should be a time of peace, when we can lay down our weapons and enjoy our little girl - but the battle wages on.<br />
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Is it any wonder that I don't "feel" the things I hoped to feel? My body cannot produce any oxytocin (the bonding hormone) right now, when it is pumping out cortisol (the stress hormone) in overdrive!<br />
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We are so tired of fighting friends. We need to REST! But that doesn't seem possible. We are trying... we are trying. We try to carve out moments of peace here and there - but peace just isn't something you can force. Right now we can do little more than survive. We are getting little sleep, we are dealing with new obstacles this week, and we are so worn out. This is the reality for us. We are <i>surviving</i> - and right now that is a feat.<br />
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Today, our battle was in Bangkok. We were told that our only hope of getting custody of our daughter any time soon, was to see if the USCIS office here would do a new, digital scan of our fingerprints. So we hired a driver and woke up this morning at 5:00 am to make the trip. After only 4 hours of sleep, a 3 hour drive, visiting the wrong office, phone calls to the embassy, a whole lot of explanations at the front desk, and an agonizing 40 minute wait - we thought they were going to turn us away. We waited for what felt like an eternity in that office - hearts racing, hands shaking, praying fervently. We were barely holding back the tears when a door opened and an American woman asked, "Are you ready to get your fingerprints done?" I can't even explain how I felt in that moment. I seriously fought the urge to hug this stranger, or maybe even kiss her feet! (I'm not lying - the thought crossed my mind for an instant!) And when I turned around - Rusty (my strong "not so sensitive" husband - who has cried so few times in our marriage I can count them on one hand) was full out sobbing in relief. I thought we were both going to have to sit in the floor to collect ourselves. The nice USCIS officer (bless her) was so understanding. We tried to apologize and explain our situation - but the reality of it friends is that we are raw. We are wounded and weary - and barely holding it together. Thank God for this bit of favor today. I don't think we could have handled it if they had turned us away.<br />
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As we walked out with our fingerprints done - so relieved - and waited for our driver outside the Embassy, I heard someone call my name. I honestly felt a moment of dread - fearful it was someone from USCIS coming out to tell us bad news! But I looked up in shock - to find my friend Frankie, his wife, and 2 precious little boys waving from across the street. Out of the 6.35 MILLION people in the massive city of Bangkok, we just happened to run into the one friend we have here - at the exact time of his family's US Embassy appointment. I almost burst into tears again!<br />
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Frankie and I led a team on a mission trip to South Africa 8 years ago, and his family is currently serving in Cambodia. They came here to have their second child. I haven't had the chance to meet his beautiful wife and adorable kids yet (one who is just a few days old!) To get to meet them was so special - and to get a hug from an old friend, so far from home, in the middle of so much stress was really comforting. I'm so grateful God worked out the timing to cross our paths! I truly felt like it was a hug from heaven on a difficult day.<br />
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I am trying hard today to trust God with the timing of everything else in our case now. It's hard - so hard to trust - when we have had so much go wrong. We have already passed the deadline for the December 1st meeting, so we won't be home for Christmas. I am trying to accept that - but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also fighting feelings of sadness and disappointment, as well as jealously each time I see another photo of a friend enjoying this season with their child. There has just been so much grief and disappointment in our process.<br />
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But today - we are focused on CUSTODY - and nothing else. If we can just get these fingerprints in the system, and our Article 5 issued from the Embassy, then we can finally, finally, finally take custody of Kate. I do believe at that point we will feel a huge wave of relief - and be able to finally start taking our first steps as a family. While not home yet, we will at least be able to truly enjoy her here - and finally be able to do so many things we have waited so long for. Will you pray with us for no more obstacles, no more delays, no more errors, no more red tape - AND NO MORE EPIC BATTLES? Fighting for our daughter's heart is a big enough job these days. We will be so grateful when this last delay is dealt with and we can focus solely on her!<br />
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-73233286349543033882016-11-27T12:24:00.000-05:002016-12-23T18:05:21.738-05:00Worth the WaitOn Thursday, November 24th at 3:11 pm... we finally met our little girl. While our friends and families were asleep in their beds... anticipating a day of Thanksgiving, we were preparing to meet the little girl we have hoped and dreamed and prayed for!<br />
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The day started beautifully. We awoke to sunshine and blue skies, ate a delicious breakfast, and then headed back up to our room to get ready. I was already anxious. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking. It was such a big day! But I had already packed a bag with toys and gifts, laid out our clothes, and showered. I was planning to spend the next 4 hours posting a blog, journaling, and getting dressed. Imagine my concern when we walked into our room and had no power!<br />
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Our room on the 11th floor started to get hot quickly, and I tried not to panic. I wanted so badly to have my hair and makeup fixed for the very first time we met Kate. Newborn babies do not remember what their parents looked like the first time they met them... but an almost 4 year old will! The last thing I wanted to be was a sweaty mess the first time she saw me! Luckily - after 2 hours without power, the outage was fixed. I had just enough time to curl my hair, put on my makeup and get dressed before the orphanage director was set to arrive at our hotel.<br />
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Moments before we were ready to walk downstairs, Rusty looked out the window and gasped. There was the BIGGEST rainstorm rolling in! Within seconds, it was raining so hard we could not see anything out our window. Normally I would be upset - but on this day the rain made me smile. <br />
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<i><b>"And like the rain that falls into the sea, </b></i></div>
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<i><b>in a moment what has been is lost in what will be..."</b></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">- When Love Takes You In, Steven Curtis Chapman</span></div>
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I've shared our daughter's name before - Kate (<a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2012/07/her-name-is.html">the name we chose for her</a>) Suwichada (the name her birthmother chose for her) - but I've not shared her nickname. In Thailand, most people answer to a nickname. Our daughter's is Namfon - which translates to "rainwater". So it seemed pretty special to watch the rain roll in, just moments before we were set to meet our little "raindrop"!<br />
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As the storm rolled over, we picked up our things and headed downstairs. Rusty picked out three yellow roses from the Royal Project as a gift for our little girl. (Yellow is the color of the Thai King, and it was my grandmother's favorite color too!) I brought along the very first dolly I ever bought for Kate - a Baby Belle. We waited nervously at the front door of the hotel for Khun Toy (the orphanage director) to arrive. I am not early very often friends, but I was a full 15 minutes early for this appointment!<br />
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The orphanage is less than 3 miles from our hotel, so it didn't take long until we were there! We were greeted by a volunteer from Germany named Christian (Kate's English Teacher) who agreed to video our meeting for us. Khun Toy told us that Kate had been asking for months when her Mama and Papa would come (bless her sweet little heart!) and that today she was waiting to meet us in the playroom.<br />
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We held hands, walked through the grounds, turned a corner and there she was.</div>
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The first glimpse we got of our little girl, she was sitting in the middle of the huge playroom with Lam (one of her caregivers), holding a bouquet of tulips, and a cellphone with our photo on it. With Lam's prodding she got up, silently walked to the door, and handed Mama the flowers. Daddy gave her the yellow roses, and I snuck a quick hug and whispered "I love you" in Thai before we all came inside and sat down together.<br />
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The first four and half minutes were not at all what I expected. I thought Kate might be shy, or that she might cry... but I was not prepared for a child who seemed so very shut down. We couldn't get any eye contact, and she didn't respond to our touches, questions, smiles - or seem interested at all the doll I brought her. We told her we loved her, and gave her hugs - but nothing seemed to break through.<br />
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I have seen a hundred different photos and videos of parents meeting their adopted children for the first time... and every single time I'm a crying mess. I anticipated this moment for our family for so long - and I expected to cry tears of joy! But the truth is - the day you actually meet YOUR child, is much more complicated than watching a video of someone else meeting theirs. As happy as I was to hold her, I was so concerned with how scared and overwhelmed she seemed. She was being so brave by not crying - but it broke my heart to see the fear and uncertainty in her eyes! My emotions quickly took a backseat as I worked to figure out how to get through to our little girl.<br />
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Rusty got my bag from the door, and we pulled out some finger puppets I brought. I put on the bunny and duck, and showed them to her - still no response. Then Rusty put on the little pink elephant and said, "Sabaidee mai?" (How are you? - in Thai). Suddenly, our little girl's eyes came to life - and a smile spread across her face! We both gasped! There was our little girl!<br />
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Point one goes to Daddy - he got the first smile! (above)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigSGyUaFWvTsLNRxl5gh0lgvSkU_SFGwPQG2n1UX9vQUzn79mDex5HY1E60-3ENE6X9U5Ac2Q8s6L7svnW_gqApirLvCfE40uCVTsPcVpAVOT7VRiogXFhekMLN9CwbdfkvGtrs-i7Cbw/s1600/IMG_8963.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigSGyUaFWvTsLNRxl5gh0lgvSkU_SFGwPQG2n1UX9vQUzn79mDex5HY1E60-3ENE6X9U5Ac2Q8s6L7svnW_gqApirLvCfE40uCVTsPcVpAVOT7VRiogXFhekMLN9CwbdfkvGtrs-i7Cbw/s640/IMG_8963.PNG" width="640" /></a>Before we knew it, she was giggling as the bunny puppet stole kisses on her cheeks, and reaching for the little frog to wear on her own!<br />
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Then the next thing we knew, we were taking the most adorable "first family photo" with a happy, smiling little girl signing "I love you"!<br />
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We went from playing puppet show, to having the puppets "stolen" by Kate - and thrown for Daddy to catch. (We've been told she likes to "tease" in play, and this was our first glimpse of that!) She let me hold her in my lap, and we got the best giggles when I tickled her! She'd laugh when Daddy threw her the puppets, catch them all, then throw them away for him to retrieve. This went on for a few minutes, and then the staff decided she had warmed up to us enough for a little tour.<br />
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We went to see her classroom, and got a folder full of her school work (so sweet!) I especially loved the Winnie-the-Pooh coloring page (and I know my Aunt Tammy will too!) We found out she's been learning some basic English - including numbers, letters, and colors.<br />
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While we were in her preschool class, she reached for my phone. (I think she's used to playing with cell phones from visitors! It's a good thing we got her an iPad for the trip home!) Her face lit up when she saw her photo as my screen saver. I showed her a few more pictures of herself, and then some of her with her friends from the orphanage. Each new shot got an even bigger smile. Then, on a whim, I pulled up the album of me dressed up as Belle from my "Party Princess" days. She gasped and smiled - wide eyed! She LOVED seeing Mama as a princess! When I showed the photo to Lam, she explained that Kate loves "cartoon princesses". We are going to get along so well! ;)<br />
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By the time we left her preschool classroom, she felt brave enough to reach for Daddy to pick her up and carry her. It was so special to see Rusty finally holding our little girl!<br />
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We stopped by the front entrance of the orphanage for a family photo with the King's portrait, Lam, and Khun Toy. This is a photo we will treasure! We are so thankful for these two women - who have played such a big part in our daughter's life! And seeing Kate looking so content in her Daddy's lap was a special sight too!<br />
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Our last stop before our visit ended was to meet Kate's legal guardian. She gave us some important paperwork, including Kate's Thai passport. It was awesome to meet her, and to thank her for helping care for our little girl!<br />
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Before we said goodbye, we each got one last hug from Kate. After all these years, it was completely surreal to finally feel the weight of her in my arms. <b>I have to say that the 1,748 days we waited were completely worth it to get to hold, and hug, and kiss this beautiful baby girl!</b> Looking into her big brown eyes and hearing her sweet giggle was a dream come true. This is definitely a Thanksgiving we will always remember!<br />
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It was hard to say goodbye. As soon as Kate realized we were leaving - she went right back to the way she was when we met. Quiet, expressionless, and avoiding eye contact. It was so heartbreaking to see.... but I know it's going to take time for her to realize that we are coming back. This transition isn't going to be easy for her.<br />
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And honestly, it isn't easy for us either. I really felt like I would feel a sense of relief the day we finally met our little girl... but unfortunately, our fingerprint refresh still hasn't come through. That means - we still don't know when we can take custody of Kate. As happy as this day was, our joy was still thinly veiled by a lot of unknowns - as we still have obstacles standing in the way of her being in our arms FOREVER. Things have gotten more complicated in our case thanks to another error by a government agency. We'll share more of those details in the coming days, but for now we're asking for your continued prayers. We are thrilled to have met our daughter... but we are technically still "waiting for Kate"! We are so grateful for the prayers, love, and support you've all shown throughout our journey. Please pray for us tomorrow as we travel to Bangkok to deal with the newest challenge in our case. Pray for protection, favor, and expeditious approvals - so that custody is no longer delayed!<br />
<br />Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-9526743288357515692016-11-23T19:00:00.000-05:002016-11-23T23:55:52.626-05:00A Room for KateToday, we will meet our little girl. I have butterflies just typing those words! For 5 years, we've been working to make room for her in our hearts, our lives, and our home. And this afternoon... she will walk into those spaces and fill them up with so much love and JOY! We can hardly wait!!!<br />
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For years, I have dreamed of creating a special place, just for Kate. I have pinned beautiful artwork, tucked away special decor, and dreamed of what her room would look like someday. We've called a specific room of the house "Kate's room" for more than 3 years... but waited until we were <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/04/we-are-matched.html">matched in April</a> before beginning to truly make it hers. I needed to know exactly who she was, before I could make a space especially for her! And now today, I'm thrilled to share photos of Kate's beautiful room for you all to see!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDqvNmrf4a82EucEUf-p9C-0SF5G4DWVRKB5OiQYx2yly9AF3uJUtPdqL6s499L0SyJF8_8wxVbEcwyvj_sayJgv7n7UL8lx1PyoOFu8vscjGHnIX-4UPDzFG7L1GlPkGgmlAMnIvIgh4/s1600/268A5387.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="425" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDqvNmrf4a82EucEUf-p9C-0SF5G4DWVRKB5OiQYx2yly9AF3uJUtPdqL6s499L0SyJF8_8wxVbEcwyvj_sayJgv7n7UL8lx1PyoOFu8vscjGHnIX-4UPDzFG7L1GlPkGgmlAMnIvIgh4/s640/268A5387.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<b>A Special Bed for a Special Girl</b></div>
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Kate's bed is definitely the most meaningful piece of furniture in her room. I begged my Dad to make a bed for Kate. I really loved the idea of her having something special, handmade by her grandfather. And I had this beautiful daybed in my mind (that I couldn't find anywhere in any store!) So with the help of my mom, and me here and there (but mostly by himself), my Dad took my sketches and made Kate this beautiful oak daybed. Eventually, he will add a trundle drawer too... for when she's a little older and has sleepovers!<br />
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Mom and Dad delivered it to our house and set it up... and then I got to work sanding, staining, and sealing it. I stained it with one coat of "weathered oak" from Minwax. Then, when it was dry, I went back with Annie Sloan Chalk Paint in "Coco", and worked that color into the grain. After that, I sealed it with 3 layers of ASCP clear wax. Pictures really don't do the finish justice! I wanted something that looked a little bit like driftwood - and that's what I got. The finished color is warm, light, and has just the right amount of gray in the grain.<br />
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Before we put the final pieces together, my parents came back to see the finished project. Then we each took turns writing notes to Kate in the corner beneath the mattress. Someday she'll be able to read the special things written to her by her Yaai (grandmother), Dtah (grandfather), Mama and Daddy.<br />
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The bedding we chose is an ivory quilt from Steinmart (the <a href="https://www.steinmart.com/product/exclusively+ours+-+floral+hand+tufted+rug+-+5.5%27+59350264.do?sortby=priceAscend&refType=&from=Search&ecList=6&ecCategory=">rug</a> is also from there), and the pink pillows were handmade in India and bought for Kate on our last trip there. The gorgeous aqua, pink, and coral quilt at the foot of her bed was made for her by her "Auntie Shell". I know there was a lot of love, some tears, and many prayers put into each stitch. I'm sure both the quilt and the bed will be family heirlooms for years to come!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLS57ZpubZX6ha0vJS6Fz_gMnq0GuIZActJwdcUSV345V6tmZJrxPaMrdWORHcu-XEgjPjXGLPIHuzQWFJjk5LAujPQmTt5chznIkg1elS2dbaw720-YZXgRjBmeROLumt-l2ephnw5yc/s1600/268A5392.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLS57ZpubZX6ha0vJS6Fz_gMnq0GuIZActJwdcUSV345V6tmZJrxPaMrdWORHcu-XEgjPjXGLPIHuzQWFJjk5LAujPQmTt5chznIkg1elS2dbaw720-YZXgRjBmeROLumt-l2ephnw5yc/s640/268A5392.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<b>Have Courage and Be Kind</b></div>
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I had pinned <a href="https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1200638973">this vinyl lettering</a> several years ago on Etsy, along with many other pieces of art that I had to choose between for Kate's room. I just kept coming back to this quote though! Rusty and I have talked a lot about the things we hope to teach our daughter. I think two of the most important things we will ever impart to her is to be <b>kind</b> and to be <b>courageous</b>! I love that she'll see this reminder every day - first thing when she wakes up, and again before she falls asleep.<br />
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The shelf holding the pretty cubes for her toys was also made by my Dad, and painted by Rusty and me. The books were collected over the years by us (it was the one thing we knew we could buy her that she wouldn't outgrow!) and given as gifts by so many friends. I am most looking forward to reading "<a href="http://www.nancytillman.com/books/night/">On The Night You Were Born</a>" and "<a href="http://www.nancytillman.com/books/crown/">The Crown On Your Head</a>" to her as soon as she's home. They were the very first things that I bought for her once we started our adoption, and I cried thinking of her when I read them in the store that night!<br />
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Her glider is from Buy Buy Baby. It's the Roni Swivel Glider - special ordered in the fabric "Snow". I absolutely love it! It's beautiful, so comfortable, and the printed linen fabric was the perfect choice for her room. I'm looking forward to a lot of rocking, snuggling, and reading in this chair.<br />
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The bunny was a gift from my friend Mindy - off her registry from Target. Bunnies have always been special to me, and this one is so soft and snuggly! We sent Kate a mini-version of the same bunny in a care package in June. I hope that when she sees this one in the chair, it helps her recognize this room as her special place!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQjLzIcVUf1oec0HAb3w7o04E25_ehUEYnOD-IdyiLjNcZgmJjlcv-3cWPIEAT0ECYHIuMHJsSRYavJe2wmnqW0kf-qCaBz-w93kCWlh-7mLcSbbyLxjzzGmcmCp_lK-xyJVt9ohRIzs/s1600/268A5436.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="412" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIQjLzIcVUf1oec0HAb3w7o04E25_ehUEYnOD-IdyiLjNcZgmJjlcv-3cWPIEAT0ECYHIuMHJsSRYavJe2wmnqW0kf-qCaBz-w93kCWlh-7mLcSbbyLxjzzGmcmCp_lK-xyJVt9ohRIzs/s640/268A5436.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<b>Prayers for Kate</b></div>
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The banner over Kate's bed has a story behind it too! At <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/kates-birmingham-shower.html">one of Kate's baby showers</a>, my friends decided to make this craft for her. Each person in attendance was invited to write out a prayer for our little girl. At the end of the day, my friend Katie put them all together into this beautiful banner... that just happened to fit perfectly in her window! Rusty and I could not hold back the tears when we read all the beautiful words our friends had lifted up to God on our daughter's behalf. I love that these prayers will hang over her each night when she sleeps.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRMoPO3yBdZN4f5Ms4rsTNjbh-HDjy2Rjpohb5s7uAlB5MwziVBx2Eqag13ALE4HC0LTDm2cg-pe0Wf5hzhMkGoWJGUhDUvEOb2RWphJFOjhUdJFnjyXzICJYMxSPxnXfZSDe2Ea8cc00/s1600/268A5384.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRMoPO3yBdZN4f5Ms4rsTNjbh-HDjy2Rjpohb5s7uAlB5MwziVBx2Eqag13ALE4HC0LTDm2cg-pe0Wf5hzhMkGoWJGUhDUvEOb2RWphJFOjhUdJFnjyXzICJYMxSPxnXfZSDe2Ea8cc00/s640/268A5384.jpg" width="640" /></a><br />
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<b>Kate's Corner</b></div>
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This corner is the focal point in Kate's room. The vintage pink dresser was handpainted by me - in a custom color mixed by me, and all the gold details were added by hand. The little wooden shelf there was passed down from my grandmother, and is full of special things!<br />
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The <a href="https://www.theologyofwork.org/the-high-calling/blog/dont-worry-be-thankful-eucharisteo-ann-voskamp">Eucharisteo</a> art piece was a gift from a friend, to remind us to choose joy, grace, and thankfulness - even during the difficulty we faced during Kate's adoption. The "LOVED" glitter letters were a gift from <a href="http://lynncorbin.blogspot.com/">another friend</a>, who also adopted a beautiful little girl from Thailand. The little teak box on the top shelf was handmade in Thailand and bought on our last trip. The <a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2013/04/the-bunny-goes-to-toomers.html">little bunny</a> on the top shelf was the very first thing we ever bought "for our child someday" from Thailand - before we even knew we were going to adopt! The beautiful wooden "K" was a gift from her Auntie Beth, and the silk flower crown hanging from it was made for me by the little girls in our <a href="http://thesoundofhope.org/goodbye-for-now-to-our-sweet-girls/">Thailand Girls Home</a>. I wore it in our House Mom's wedding last year.<br />
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There are two round baskets of stuffed animals on either side of the pink dresser. They have so many special toys inside - including a Winnie-The-Pooh from my Aunt Tammy (a right of passage for every child in our family), a bunny puppet from Cambodia from my friend Connie, a handmade elephant from the children in <a href="http://thesoundofhope.org/the-refuge-childrens-library/">The Refuge</a>, a canvas elephant from Thailand, a beautiful handmade <a href="http://weave-women.org/wftse/product/doll-girl-small/">Karen doll</a> from Burma (you can see it peeking out in the picture!) and a set of handmade elephants (a mommy, daddy, and baby) from Kate's "Auntie Shell" that match her beautiful quilt.<br />
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<b>Kate's Gallery Wall</b></div>
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Kate's gallery wall was my favorite thing to create. I have pinned ideas and collected artwork for years, just anticipating what this would look like someday! The "<a href="https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1178184031">Bunny Parade</a>" in the top left corner, and the <a href="https://www.etsy.com/transaction/1178184029">Little Elephant</a> in the middle right were two of the first things I pinned from one of my favorite artists on Etsy. Bunnies are my favorite animal (and Rusty's nickname for me!) and elephants are sacred in Thailand, and a huge part of Thai culture. So bunnies and elephants have found their way into her room in many places!<br />
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The bottom left is a vintage map of Thailand. The small frames on the middle left hold photos of us from our "<a href="http://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2014/09/love-is-waiting.html">Adoption Photo Shoot</a>" (in the aqua frames) and a Mommy and Baby Elephant (in the white frame) - which is an original piece of art we bought in 2014 from a Thai artist.<br />
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The center piece is a <a href="http://lindsayletters.com/">Lindsay Letters</a> "Hello Sweet Beautiful Girl!" - that I've loved for years! The tassels beneath it were handmade by <a href="http://lynncorbin.blogspot.com/">the same sweet friend</a> who made the glitter "LOVED" letters in the corner. And the art in the very bottom in the middle was handmade by me! The song "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLXK-C08hps">Mine To Love</a>" has been our song to Kate, since I heard it for the first time performed live by Dave Barnes several years ago. I painted the lyrics out in gold and silver... just for our little one. I hope she reads them often and remembers just how loved she is!<br />
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The beautiful peach rose in the bottom right is another piece of original art from Thailand, purchased on our trip in 2015. The small frame beneath the "K" holds a piece of vintage music, which is actually a Tune Dex card from 1941. It's the chorus from the Rosemary Clooney song, "<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXLrZKefxZo">Oh You Beautiful Doll</a>" - the special song my grandmother sang to me when I was a little girl.<br />
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The final piece to complete her gallery wall had to be a photo of the Thai King and Queen. Thai citizens always have a photo of the King in their home, and traditionally it is the highest picture in the house. I adore this photograph - a vintage shot from the 50's - of King Bhumibol Adulyadej and Queen Sirikit in their royal attire.<br />
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While the Thai King has recently passed away, and our daughter's beautiful country in still in mourning, having his photo up still seems very appropriate. At this time, the new King has not yet ascended the throne, as he too observes a time of mourning for his father.<br />
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The photo below is the final corner of Kate's room... and the view from my beautiful rocking chair! The chest-of-drawers here was the very first piece of furniture I ever painted (back when I was learning to use ASCP), and it's still one of my favorite pieces. The beautiful vintage mirror above it was passed down to us by Rusty's grandmother. The photos tucked in the corner of the mirror are two more favorite vintage shots of the Thai King and Queen. The cross between her closet doors was a gift from my friend Stefanie - who has a matching one in her home. She uses it as a reminder to pray for our little girl each time she sees it. How special!<br />
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This has quickly become my favorite room in our house. It's the one with the most light, and the one with the most love. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent in here praying for our little girl. I have prayed, and cried, and sung worship songs on so many days and nights in this space. And somehow... it feels different when you walk into this room. There is a peace that meets you in this place.<br />
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I hope that when she steps into her room for the first time, she can feel all the love and prayers and peace that it holds. And I pray that somehow she will know, just from being in this place, how unbelievably loved she truly is. <b style="color: #5e5e5e; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; text-align: center;">♥</b><br />
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<span style="background-color: #bd081c; background-position: 3px 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: 14px 14px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: none; color: white; cursor: pointer; display: none; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; position: absolute; text-align: center; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; z-index: 8675309;">Save</span><span style="background-color: #bd081c; background-position: 3px 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat; background-size: 14px 14px; border-bottom-left-radius: 2px; border-bottom-right-radius: 2px; border-top-left-radius: 2px; border-top-right-radius: 2px; border: none; color: white; cursor: pointer; display: none; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-style: normal; font-weight: bold; line-height: 20px; opacity: 1; padding: 0px 4px 0px 0px; position: absolute; text-align: center; text-indent: 20px; width: auto; z-index: 8675309;">Save</span>Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-27658759789092053532016-11-22T21:57:00.000-05:002016-11-22T21:59:37.230-05:00Unforseen Inheritance I have asked myself, my pastor, my counselor, my husband, my mom, and God the same question at least a thousand times over in the past 5 years (and especially over the past few months):<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">"Why does this have to be so hard?"</span></b></div>
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As I shared in <a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/11/a-girl-worth-fighting-for.html">my last blog</a>, our adoption journey has been brutal. While every adoption has it's challenges - ours has had 100 times our fair share. Our 4th agency (yes... we're now on agency #4) calls it a "traumatic adoption". The joys we've experienced have been minimized, and the pain and stress have been multiplied. There has not been one segment/season/step in our adoption that was completely enjoyable. Every good day has been quickly shrouded by a dark veil of bad news in some way, shape, or form. We have had more people praying for our adoption - all over the world - than I can count. They number in the thousands. And yet, we have seen very, very few specific prayers answered in any recognizable way.</div>
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I'd be lying if I said I haven't been mad at God. And I don't just mean a little miffed. I mean FURIOUS - shaking my fist at heaven, crying until I can't breathe, "I don't want to talk to you any more" mad. I actually spent a few weeks this Fall not going to church, because I just couldn't bear to hear others sing worship songs when I felt so forgotten by God. How could He answer other people's prayers and not mine? I get that He is not a "Santa Clause God" - but I wasn't praying for a shiny new car! I was praying - in accordance with scripture, after being obedient to His call to adopt, as the Holy Spirit prompted - for my daughter to come home. I didn't ask for an unrealistic miracle. I didn't request that somehow we adopt a beautiful Thai infant in a 6 month process. I just asked for a typical timeline - a 2-3 year process to adopt a child somewhere between 1 and 2 years old. Instead, we got an almost 5 year timeline and we have an almost 4 year old. And I am still deeply grieving the years we lost with our daughter. </div>
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It was in the midst of this grief and anger (and a season of "I don't want to talk to you God") that He decided to talk to me. It was mid-September, after all my faith for an "<a href="https://erickabjackson.blogspot.com/2016/08/lanterns-and-miracles.html">August</a>" word was spent. I was brushing my teeth before bed one night when He began our little chat. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfZjQQdSfZPxKyC2AQdxQfR7ul2XgoJhyphenhyphen_fRv4ERoXnq0QWQP-8q2YYOHrOG99Nb-GKwtJdhQ2QWhMp2nRr6FmYzv5n9nUyM_ghTK6LPJwJXzxeV6QFcDeyONvuoLXR1RsTV-4-HhsjJs/s1600/inheritance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfZjQQdSfZPxKyC2AQdxQfR7ul2XgoJhyphenhyphen_fRv4ERoXnq0QWQP-8q2YYOHrOG99Nb-GKwtJdhQ2QWhMp2nRr6FmYzv5n9nUyM_ghTK6LPJwJXzxeV6QFcDeyONvuoLXR1RsTV-4-HhsjJs/s400/inheritance.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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God started by reminding me of everything our daughter is about to lose. You see... the day we take custody of Kate is the day she loses the only home she's ever known, caregivers that she loves like family, children at the orphanage who are like siblings to her, her sense of stability, her language, her culture, and her community. Yes, it's true that she is gaining a family - and that is going to change her life forever! But to get a "forever family" - first <b>she has to lose everything</b>.</div>
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Our little girl is in a good orphanage. She is well loved and well cared for - and she has no idea that those caregivers (hired nannies and willing volunteers) are not her family. She doesn't understand what a mommy and a daddy are. She doesn't understand that right now - she has no family, no safety, no security, and no inheritance. And she won't understand when we take her - why she has to lose everything.</div>
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She won't understand that in the long run - it's worth it. She can't see that at 4 years old. All she's going to see is pain and loss. And she might hate us for it. Because from her perspective - we are causing her immense pain! And she can't possibly understand right now that it will be worth it someday.</div>
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It breaks my heart to think about what Kate is going to have to endure just so that she can have a family. If there was ANY other way for her to get a family - any easier way - believe me, I would take it (even if it meant us losing her). But her birth family is unable to care for her... and domestic adoptions (which would at least allow her to keep her language and culture) are not part of Thai culture. (As a matter of fact - even step children are often abandoned in Thai families because their parent's new spouse does not want to raise them!) International adoption is the only way for Kate to have a family. <b>She will have to lose everything, to gain an unforeseen inheritance. </b></div>
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And when I realized that, it dawned on me. <i>What if what I'm going through is for the same purpose?</i></div>
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This adoption process feels like it has cost us everything... and I don't understand why. From my perspective - it shouldn't cost this much. From where I'm sitting - there has to be a better way. In my finite understanding - I think God could have made this process so much easier.</div>
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But what if - like our daughter - we have to lose everything we have now, in order to gain something even better? What if losing what is comfortable and beautiful here and now - means that somehow we will gain an unforeseen inheritance?</div>
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What if walking through this FIRE is what it takes to get us to destiny? And what if there's something extraordinary waiting for us on the other side of these flames... but the only way to reach it is to walk right though (and maybe get burned in the process?)</div>
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Out of love for my daughter - I am going to put her through one of the hardest, most brutal transitions of her life. Out of love for her, and because it is the only way to get her what she really needs (a family) - she will lose everything that is dear to her right now. It is going to hurt her. But ultimately I will allow her to experience that pain - because I know it is what's best for her in the end.</div>
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So - what if God is doing the same thing to me? What if He is allowing me to experience this pain, because He knows it is what is best for me in the end? To Kate - us taking her out of the orphanage (and away from everything familiar) will not seem loving. It will actually seem cruel. And yet we will tell her it's because we love her, and we will ask her to trust us in spite of the pain. <b>So what if all my pain - which appears to be cruelty at the hand of God - is actually done in love? What if there is incredible purpose in this pain?</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwy7VvVHh_kqt3b7xBrGcAqt0jtE13f0m3GmNVes2gTP13fNIMt2SjgTgQfKiAtAPGx5XZCAaVJvrQQrEuXHGwICsgSjB-YAj8x2kocWSUDc3CsafQ-dQUpLAjIy9fFgWH5jzQccKWVMs/s1600/inheritance-4-638.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwy7VvVHh_kqt3b7xBrGcAqt0jtE13f0m3GmNVes2gTP13fNIMt2SjgTgQfKiAtAPGx5XZCAaVJvrQQrEuXHGwICsgSjB-YAj8x2kocWSUDc3CsafQ-dQUpLAjIy9fFgWH5jzQccKWVMs/s400/inheritance-4-638.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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God spoke all of this to my heart in the 5 minutes it took me to brush my teeth that night. I crawled into bed, and humbly revealed it all to Rusty though tears. I felt guilty for not trusting God. "How can we ask Kate to trust our love for her through her pain, when I can't even trust God's love for me?"</div>
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And then I realized something else... </div>
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Kate may actually hate us for a while when we first take her from the orphanage. She may scream and cry and kick and throw things. She may say awful, hurtful things in her anger. I actually know an adoptive mom who was bitten by her son just a few days after meeting him. I know another whose little girl screamed "I DON'T WANT YOU" to her face all day, every day, for weeks.</div>
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And you know what? If Kate does any of those things, I will understand. I will have compassion on her - because I know she cannot see how this pain could possibly be good for her. I will endure every hateful word, wipe away every tear, and comfort her through every outburst if I need to. I will sit nearby as she cries and whisper words of love all day, every day, until she believes them. Nothing she can say or do will ever make me love her less.</div>
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I believe it's the same with God. In the days when I have felt so abandoned... so betrayed - I think He understood. The days I've yelled and screamed at heaven - I don't think He turned away for one second. And the days I cried until I couldn't breathe, were the days that I believe He sat nearby and whispered words of comfort. I couldn't hear them at first, and once I heard them I couldn't believe them for a while... but still He persisted - undeterred by my fits of anger and sadness. Why? Because He knows this hurts, and I believe it breaks His heart to put me through it. But maybe, just maybe, He is willing to cause me pain for my ultimate good - and an unforeseen inheritance is waiting for me on the other side. </div>
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-3595769454423469342016-11-22T06:13:00.001-05:002016-11-22T06:13:14.975-05:00A Girl Worth Fighting ForI have heard adoption called many things. Beautiful, sweet, precious, kind. Most people think of it as charity... something "nice" that is done to "help" a child in need. But friends - that couldn't be further from the truth. A fellow adoptive mom reminded me recently as she prayed over me that adoption isn't charity, it's WAR.<br />
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If you don't believe in "spiritual warfare" try adopting. I promise, your eyes will be opened in ways you never imagined. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." We have experienced spiritual opposition and attacks in the past, especially in the line of work we do - but I've never felt "stalked" by the enemy before the way I have since we started this adoption process. The truth is, adoption isn't "beautiful" and it isn't "charity". Adoption is hard, heart-wrenching, sacred work. Adoption is fighting fiercely to protect those most vulnerable in this world. Adoption is saying YES to enter the suffering of an orphan - so that their lives can be ransomed.<br />
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<b>And the enemy hates it.</b></div>
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I can't even being to tell you all the ways we have been "attacked" since this process began. And the closer we got to our daughter, the more vicious the attacks became. I haven't shared them all on my blog... mainly because I didn't want this to be a place where I constantly complained. But the close friends who I've shared everything with, and the counselor I've been seeing have been horrified by what we've been through. I literally have had at least half a dozen new "assaults" to deal with each week over the past few months.<br />
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We have dealt with financial issues - both in the form of unexpected fees (or lost finances) in the adoption process, and in our personal income levels. We have dealt with health issues - for ourselves, the children in our care worldwide, and our families. All in the same week (a few months back), we had children we care for through the Sound of Hope diagnosed with tuberculosis, typhoid, epilepsy, and one hospitalized for an overdose due to a doctor prescribing her too much medicine. My back completely "went out" due to inflammation from stress back in October - landing me flat in the bed for almost 2 weeks. I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk, couldn't sit up, couldn't dress myself. It was unbearable. <br />
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The week before we left for Thailand, literally in one 24 hour time span - two long-time family pets died, our car had 3 different problems we needed to fix, my Great Uncle had 2 strokes, and my mom announced that she needed to have surgery on her spine while we are out of the country. (Hard news to hear at anytime... but it was especially hard for me to know that I wouldn't be home to take care of her, and that I would be SO far away if anything went wrong!)<br />
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In the midst of all these personal issues - we have faced more obstacles in our adoption than I can even begin to recount here. There have been delays, on top of delays - that no one can explain. We've dealt with lost paperwork, excessive requirements, innumerable errors in paperwork, closing agencies, negligence, and more red tape than you could ever imagine. Every timeline we're given - we surpass it. If I had a dollar for each time someone told us, "I don't know why this hasn't come through yet!" or "We've never seen this happen before!" or "that really should be approved by now" or "your case is really difficult" - we could buy a new car.<br />
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We spent our last few days at home (when we should have been packing and resting up for our trip) dealing with a new and unexpected delay/issue/obstacle. I spent hours on the phone with agencies and government offices - desperately trying to expedite our final approval so that we could come home in time for Christmas. Here in Thailand, I spent hours again yesterday desperately trying to fix the same issue. Today, we found out that our approval still hasn't come, and we will likely be stuck here for weeks - missing our first Christmas home as a family, and costing us more money than we had initially budgeted for this trip.<br />
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We're exhausted by the stress we've endured. There has not been one segment of this process that has gone as planned. Every time we experience JOY - it is quickly dampened by the news of a new obstacle to overcome. Every single step we've taken over the past (almost) 5 years has been excruciatingly difficult. And these difficulties have affected our marriage, our friendships, our financial stability, our health, and our sanity. This process has brought us to our knees again and again. Our adoption journey has been brutal. And it wasn't a battle - it is a WAR.<br />
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So why do we keep fighting? I know so many people think we're crazy. The truth is we don't HAVE to do this. We could probably get pregnant if we "just wanted to have a baby" (we don't know because we haven't tried). But we have believed this whole time, with all our hearts, that our baby girl is in Thailand. And we believe that SHE is a girl worth fighting for.<br />
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It isn't crazy to willingly walk into battle if you believe in what you're fighting for. Much like the Armed Forces in our wonderful country (God bless our men and women in uniform!) - we entered this war willingly. This wasn't a draft. We CHOSE to "enlist". That's what people do when they believe that they have something worth fighting for.<br />
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The week before we left for Thailand, I spent some time catching up with another adoptive mom. As we shared our hearts, and I recounted some of my latest struggles she asked me - "Knowing what you know now... would you do it all again?" Without hesitation - I said YES.<br />
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YES. Not because I want to endure these things. Not because I have to. But because parents do whatever they have to do to get to their child.<br />
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If you're a mom or a dad reading this right now... what would you do to get to your son or daughter? If someone kidnapped them... how much would you pay? What would you endure to get them back? What lengths would you go to - to ensure their safe return?<br />
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I see our journey in that light - much more than I see it any other way. That little girl whose picture we've held in our hands for 7 months is our daughter. And I don't feel like I'm fighting for the sake of "some adoption" - I feel like I am fighting to protect the life of my daughter. And all that this has cost us? This is her ransom.<br />
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I shudder to think what Kate's life would look like if she was not adopted. The past few days in this city, I have seen her in the eyes of so many young women I've crossed paths with. I wonder if she would have ended up on Walking Street... one of the worst Red Light Districts in the world (less than 3 miles away from her orphanage). I wonder if she would have ended up working some dead-end job... struggling to make ends meet. I wonder if she would have gone on to University and gotten a good job - but come home every night to an empty apartment, and endured every holiday alone year after year.<br />
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I think of how empty and lonely and frightening my life would be without my parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. I cannot imagine our little girl - or any child - enduring a lifetime utterly alone in this world.<br />
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And so, we keep fighting. We keep fighting so that Kate never has to be alone. We keep fighting so that Kate never has to feel unloved. We keep fighting so that Kate has a family, a future, and an inheritance that she could not get any other way. We keep fighting because she is a girl worth fighting for. We keep fighting - because EVERY child is worth fighting for.<br />
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Last year, I read <a href="http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/reframing-your-season-of-struggle">this blog</a> about adoption and foster care, and what was written there has wedged it's way deep into my heart. It has been the single most encouraging thing I've read - and I have come back to it on many dark, hard days. Jason Johnson talks <a href="http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/reframing-your-season-of-struggle">here</a> about how saying YES to the suffering that comes with adoption - is very similar to the YES Jesus exclaimed when he was faced with the cross. He said YES - not because He had to. No one forced Him to endure that pain and suffering. But Jesus said YES out of His enduring love for us... because it was the only way to redeem our lives.<br />
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When Jesus said YES to the cross - "<b>It was Him willingly choosing the cost of our joy over the price of His pain</b>."<div>
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If there had been any other way, he would have taken it. He asked that the cup pass from Him, but ultimately He drank it willingly. And so, I have been reminded of God's love for me each time I've chosen to once again drink from that cup of suffering on behalf of my daughter.<br />
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<br /><i>"The truth is that God is using you, a mere human, to solve a seemingly insurmountable human problem. Confusion, frustration and exhaustion are inevitable and unavoidable - but He is faithful and good and right there with you. The gospel doesn't guarantee that everything will be easy, but it does guarantee that there's hope, and that no matter what, Jesus is worth it and so is what you're doing for these kids." - Jason Johnson</i></blockquote>
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We say YES to the struggle, the suffering, the brokenness, the attacks, the pain, the stress - out of love for Kate. <b>And friends, this world needs more people who will say YES to endure a season of pain and hardship - so that other precious children don't have to endure a lifetime of being an orphan. We need more soldiers, willing to go to battle on behalf of these kids!</b><br />
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We said YES out of love for Kate, and we will keep saying YES. (This doesn't mean Kate is indebted to us in any way. This doesn't make us Kate's savior. This doesn't make us super-human. But I hope it does make us a little more like Jesus, because He is someone I do aspire to be like.)<br />
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But the truth is friends, this WAR is far from over. It didn't end when we got matched with our daughter... it only intensified. And it didn't end when we flew to Thailand... we have dealt with another round of attacks this week. And it won't end when we meet Kate... or when we take custody of her... or even when we come home. There are many battles in this war, and some we have won... but others we still have yet to fight. Because ultimately - this is a war for our daughter's life, her heart, and her future.<br />
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<b>We hope you will continue to "wage war" with us in prayer - as we meet our daughter this week, as we take our first steps as a family of three, and in the months and years to come as we continue to fight for Kate's heart. This is an epic war... and we are weary, but resolved. We will <i>never </i>surrender because we know we have something - <i>someone</i> - worth fighting for. </b><br />
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-52863858956777699642016-11-21T19:00:00.000-05:002016-11-22T00:09:52.815-05:00Kate's Oxford Shower<div style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
Kate's 4th and final shower was on October 2nd, in my hometown. My family has been a part of Lakeview Baptist Church since I was in the 8th grade, and it meant so much for the LBC ladies to throw this shower for us!<br />
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All of our showers have been beautiful and so special... and I loved this one because my family (and a lot of the church family and family friends I grew up with) were there! There were people from Lakeview Baptist Church, others from DeArmanville First Baptist Church, and family friends from Oxford High School too. A lot of these ladies helped raise me, and it meant the world to me to have them all come together and celebrate our little girl. (I tried to get a group picture and family photo before anyone left but I know we're missing some. I loved seeing each of you there though! I just wish we could have visited longer!)<br />
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We got so many beautiful things, including Kate's first pairs of ruffled pants and her first two items with her full monogram - from her sweet cousins Elaine, Megan, and Mary Beth! </div>
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Top Left - A family photo - Left to Right, my Aunt Beverly, Aunt Tammy, myself, Mom, and Aunt Angie. Love these special ladies! Also in attendance (but they left before I could snap a picture) were my Great Aunt Juanita and cousin Renee. // <span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Top Right - A glimpse of all the beautiful things Kate was given! There were also TONS of gift cards - which allowed us to get things we needed from her registry. Thank you friends! // </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Bottom Left - Kate's first items with her full monogram. So sweet! // </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Middle Right - A timeline of all Kate's baby pictures. (Sorry that we have to blur her sweet face out for the blog!) // </span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">Bottom Right - A group pic of (almost) everyone who came to this special shower. ]</span><br />
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px;"><b><i>Thank you to everyone who came, sent gifts, and helped host this shower! </i></b></span></div>
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Ericka B. Jacksonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05105556348084371176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4989843451942769369.post-34161193303074858212016-11-21T18:00:00.000-05:002016-11-22T00:05:45.444-05:00Kate's Birmingham ShowerOur sweet Kate's 3rd Baby Shower was thrown by some of my closest friends, and held in our neighborhood (Crestwood) on August 7th.<br />
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Every one of our showers were beautiful and special for different reasons. This one meant the world to me, because it was thrown by my best friend from high school and three of my closest Birmingham friends (who are also our neighbors!) They went all out for this special day... and every little piece of decor was perfect, down to the last detail! It looked like something straight out of Pinterest! ;)<br />
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaidjIyh_mTYAPGLossr0iiQtMKpYAHGvMe5T_mFAzj7frKuBAWXIqldiPBUax-HmtHQjV6hZ9YmmvCX4rsFyIYJd4LnMrZuu1psznnyJLEdOvRwjEtdx41ec1ZKyeX5NrURGPJAaRmII/s640/IMG_7120.JPG" /><br />
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I loved the map connecting Alabama and Thailand on the mantle, and the pink "ultrasound" with Thailand on it too. There were little touches all around like bunnies and elephants - that showed just how much these friends know and love me! They even printed out some photos from my blog to display of us throughout our adoption journey!</div>
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The food was delicious, and the decor was absolutely lovely! But what surprised me the most was the sweet craft idea the hostesses came up with. I have seen many craft stations at baby showers... to "create your own onesie", or burp cloth, or something else special for the baby. I had no idea my amazing friends would come up with something that would work for an adoption shower though! I almost cried when I saw this spot set up in the kitchen. </div>
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Every one who attended was invited to write out a prayer for Kate on a prayer flag, that was later turned into a banner for her room. Neither Rusty, nor I, could hold back the tears when we read the touching words of our friends, lifted up to God on behalf of our daughter. This little "craft" was such a special addition to Kate's room!</div>
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Pictured below are my 4 amazing hostesses: To the left is Kristian (my best friend since the 8th grade), Heather (a dear neighbor-friend and fellow adoptive mom... and her new baby girl she is pregnant with is technically "pictured" here too! Her sweet kids Mason and Karis came as well. I loved the gift Karis picked out for Kate, and Mason was an awesome little 5 year old photographer when we needed a group pic!) To the right in this photo is Stefanie (a neighbor-friend who has been such a great support system to me), and Katie (a neighbor friend and church friend I have been so blessed to have in my life... and her sweet baby boy Harp!) I love these girls to pieces! There aren't enough words to say what they each mean to me, and I cannot wait for the day Kate gets to meet them! </div>
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Once again, Kate received a car full of beautiful gifts! Her Aunt Kristian is already spoiling her rotten - by giving her dozes of gifts, including a princess doll, a princess castle tent, and a working microphone (the perfect gift from the friend I sang with for years and years! Her daddy was our choir director too, and I know he would have loved that gift!) My dear friend Erin got her the most adorable little gray upholstered chair for our living room (not pictured) that is just Kate's size! Our neighbors got her so many sweet things from her registry, including the cutest little kaleidoscope camera (so she can be a photographer like daddy!), and lots of Thai books that we will enjoy reading to her. And we love her little backpack from our across the street neighbors, which I know we're going to use a lot on this trip to Thailand! </div>
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I got emotional several times throughout this shower... because the people who attended are the ones who have seen so much our our journey up close. They have witnessed the tears and the hard days first hand... and prayed and cried alongside us. They have cheered us on, held us up, and been the best support system we ever could have asked for. They are the ones who celebrated in person with us when we were finally matched, and the ones I know I will call when I need support once our baby girl is home. I loved every moment of this beautiful day with all of these beautiful ladies in the same room!<br />
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<span style="text-align: start;"><b>Thank you dear friends, for helping to shower us and Kate with so much love! </b></span><br />
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