(In case you missed Part 1, check it out here.)
Mom told me over and over again last night that I HAD to go see the cannon today. "They shoot it off at 4:00" she said. "They march around the property with a drum at 3:30" she said. "Don't be late or you'll miss it!" she said. So at 3:15 I put down my work, threw on some clothes, and hurried out to the pier.
By the time I found the cannon, I was FREEZING. It's 46 with windchill that makes it feel like Antarctica. I have no gloves. I have a thin scarf and a thin jacket and a thin sweater and blue jeans. All I can think is, "We have 16 freaking bags between us and I packed NOTHING warm enough!" I thought going South would = warmer weather. I thought 55 degrees wouldn't be frigid. I was wrong. By the time I sat down by the cannon tears were streaming down my face from the icy wind (I had to take my glasses off and dab my face with my scarf!) and my hair was EVERYWHERE. Seriously. This is a picture of me waiting by the cannon. Glad I didn't bother to brush my hair that morning.
3:45 came and went. 3:50... 4:00. No flipping marching man. No drum. No cannon fire. At this point I was a popsicle. I was trying to text my husband but my fingers got too cold to cooperate.
4:02 - FINALLY! Some man in a costume came out carrying an American Flag. Fantastic! Let's do this!
4:14 - The Navy man is telling a story about the military/war history of the area. He's been talking for 12 minutes. It feels like 1200 minutes. Normally I would love this history lesson (I am a total history nerd!) but with the wind off the bay and the 46 degree temp I am numb. But I am going to see the cannon for crying out loud!
4:15 - He fires the cannon! It is awesome. I get an awesome picture. (see below). And then I high-tail it inside to get some tea and cookies.
Ahh.... tea and cookies. I have never been so excited about tea and cookies! I skipped lunch (long story - I brought snacks but couldn't find a knife to get my peanut butter out of the jar!) and I am starving. I am also freezing, and want to drink something warm. She fills my tea up to the brim and I feel panicked. I still can't feel my hands... how am I going to pick this up on a saucer with one hand and get to a seat without spilling it?! I literally shuffle across the room. I sip it down to add milk and sugar - then it's full again. I sip again. I'm not fast enough. People are lining up behind me to get to the milk and sugar. I shuffle to the couch nervously. SUCCESS! My hands are still numb, but I didn't spill!
I eat my blueberry scone that is so, so delicious and reach for my tea. Three sips in, and it happens....
A maintenance woman walks by and drops the biggest walkie talkie I've ever seen on the hardwood floor literally at my feet. It sounds like a gunshot. Of COURSE it scares me half to death. Of COURSE I jump. Of COURSE I throw my delicious hot tea EVERYWHERE.
Seriously. You guys. I was like a hot tea firework exploding all over the room. There was tea on the floor, tea on the furniture, tea on my jacket, tea on my shoes. There was also tea (along with my tears from earlier) all over one of my favorite scarves from my very first trip to India, and tea ALL over my darkwash skinny jeans. The only pair of dressy pants I'd brought with me. The jeans I was going to wear out to dinner that night AND the next night. (16 flipping bags and I only have one pair of dressy jeans?! Seriously? How is this possible!?)
I was so, so sad about my tea, but I almost laughed. (I did, in my head. Because all I could think was "of course this would happen!" followed by "at least I'll have something to share on my blog today!") The maintenance woman felt terrible and kept apologizing. I of course told her it wasn't her fault (I mean... she was clumsy and dropped a walkie talkie, and I was clumsy and jumpy and became a hot tea firework. Accidents happen.) She showed me to the bathroom where I began blotting my clothes with a wet paper towel and dreading walking the 1/4 mile back to our building in the FREEZING cold wind. I was wet and cold and very sticky by the time I got back to our room.
Then, when I didn't think it was possible, things got even worse! I started trying to wash out my jeans....my FAVORITE pair of jeans.... the jeans I've had for at least 5 years and washed dozens of times....
and everything turned BLUE.
Blue towel, blue washcloth, and the sink looked like a Smurf died in it. By the time my mom came back to the room from her conference I was wearing sweatpants, using the hairdryer on my wet blue jeans, and sporting a bright blue hand.
I was not amused. She, however, thought it was hysterical!
I managed to get my jeans dry, ran a brush through my nappy, windblown hair, and made it out to dinner. We had some yummy Italian food, gelato, and then took a quick trip to Publix before heading back to the hotel. (I really like eating a cinnamon roll smothered with cream cheese icing for breakfast on my birthday, and I knew Publix would have one!)
All went well. I got my cinnamon roll, we checked out, and we made it back to the car. That's when I started hearing the music.
Me: Mom, what's that?
Mom: I don't know!
Me: It's coming from your phone.
Mom: No it's not! I've never even heard that before!
Me [taking Mom's phone]: Yes it is! Look - your music app is open. It's playing your music.
[At this point, my precious, innocent, Southern Baptist mom looks at the phone, sees this picture, and freaks out.]
Mom: THAT IS NOT MINE! I DON'T BUY THINGS WITH NAKED MEN ON THEM! WHY ARE THEIR NAKED MEN ON MY PHONE?!?! I'M TELLING YOU - I DID NOT BUY THAT!!!
[Mom continues to dramatically protest while I laugh until I can't breathe.]
Mom: What is so FUNNY?! I didn't BUY THAT! I PROMISE!
Me [barely able to speak because I'm still laughing]: I know Mom! I know! It's U2.
Mom: WHAT IS U2?! I DID NOT BUY U2! I have THREE songs on my iPhone that I bought - ONLY THREE! They are BLESSINGS, CASTING CROWNS, and SILVER BELLS! I DID NOT buy any NAKED MEN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT U2 IS!
Now for those of you that don't know - a few months ago Apple CEO joined forces with U2 (arguably one of the most successful and beloved bands of all time) and "gifted" everyone with an iPhone, everywhere in the world, with the latest U2 album. It was kind of freaky and amazing all at once. At least, I thought so. But then again, I like U2. Apparently though, a whole lot of people had a similar response to my mom. I saw a lot of angry posts online with people asking how to get this "blankety blank" off their phone. But this was the first time I'd actually encountered that kind of reaction in person and you guys... it was HYSTERICAL!!!
So there you have it friends. Day 2 and Night 2 of our "Mother Daughter Roadtrip Shenanigans" is in the books. I'm scared to think what tomorrow will bring!