For our beach baby...

Here's the latest addition to Baby Kate's room! 

A little bit of Pattaya Beach, for our little beach baby.

Kate's room is technically still just a guest room (I can't bear to decorate a nursery that sits empty for months - or maybe years) but I do have one little bookshelf in there that is hers. It was my grandmother's shelf, and now it's full of Kate's things. There are plenty of books (the one thing I can buy her that I know she won't grow out of), a little basket of wooden toys (that our neighbor kids are "breaking in" for her), a little handmade teak box from Thailand, a framed word ("Eucharisteo") from a dear friend, a wooden sign that will someday remind her she is "SO LOVED", and now this.

We scooped up the sand and searched the beach for shells our last day in Thailand this Fall. It is crazy to think that we could've been just a mile or two away from our daughter that day. For those that don't know, we are adopting from Pattaya Orphanage. Pattaya City is on the coast of Thailand - so our little girl will be a "beach baby" to me (even if she's never actually been to the beach when we meet her!)

I have struggled lately with feeling like our adoption is still real... with feeling like Kate is real. This journey has been SO long, and I've been through every emotion possible over the last 3 years. In the beginning there was so much excitement and anticipation... but you can't keep feeling that same "high" year, after year, after year. Eventually, your heart settles into the dullness of waiting... with no day or month or year to count down to. It's easy to wonder if it's real... if the little girl I dream of will ever actually be in my arms. So I'm trying hard to do what I can to create tangible reminders of her - like this little jar of sand. There is one on her bookshelf, and a second little jar on my dresser so I can see it every day.

For those of you who ask for updates, or message me encouragement, or bring up Kate (or our adoption) when you see me - thank you. Please keep asking about her. Please keep talking about her. Even if I have NO news.... even if I seem upset... even if I complain or cry... please know - to hear you talking about her means so much to me.

♥ Baby girl, we can't wait to meet you! We're looking forward to lots of family vacations,

playing in the sand and collecting seashells with our beach baby! ♥