Six Months In Our Arms

Well… I just thought I was “behind” on all those other monthly updates! I’m writing this update from May in November (oops!) and just back-dating it, but better late than never! I’m proud I at least was able to write notes down each month to later turn into a blog. And now that we’re finalized – I can share photos of our sweet girl’s face! May 29^th marked 6 months with Kate in our arms. Here’s our #kateupdate!

FIRSTS

Kate had SO many "firsts" again this month! She had her first overnight trip away from home (since coming home from Thailand in December) with Mama and Papa. We took an unexpected trip to Nashville in May to meet up with another Thailand adoptive family who came all the way from Indiana. So Kate had her first Thai friend playdate too! It was so great to meet up with Jandie and Aaron (who are also photographers and videographers) and to watch Kate playing with their two adorable kids, Ty and Mia!

Two mischievous Thai babies! They loved playing together!

We ended the night with Thai food, and then headed back to our little AirBnB cottage. Before heading home the next day we went to the Rainforest Cafe for lunch - and oh how she LOVED all the animatronic animals! She asked questions often throughout the 2 days about where we were going, and when we were going home... but with lots of reassurance and explanations Kate ended up loving her first little "family trip"!

The Jacksons & The Waggoners - with all our Thai babies!

Kate attended (and helped host) her first Block Party this month! Every year our street hosts a huge neighborhood block party (started by my husband!) This was our 4th annual party, and it's become something our neighbors (and all their children) look forward to so much! We have live music, games, lots of food and tons of fun! Kate stayed up super late, and even took her first turn at the microphone singing for the crowd that night (I couldn't believe it!) She sang the ABC song and ended it with, "Bye people! I love you!" hahaha!

She also had her first little trip to the Alabama Theater to watch her friend Evie's dance recital. She loved cheering for Evie, and was quick to tell me that she wanted to dance on that stage too! So between that declaration and her singing into the microphone at the block party, we're pretty sure we have a little performer on our hands!

Kate with some of her besties from our street!

My parents have been cutting timber on their land, and this month held Kate's first ride on a skidder! (I still can't believe she got into such a massive piece of equipment without me! She LOVED IT!) Some less exciting "firsts" included her first vaccines since she's been home (she was so brave and tough! She doesn't cry for shots or bloodwork!), her first trip to the audiologist (who said her hearing was great!), and her first video work trip to Albertville with Mom & Dad (only possible because her incredible Auntie Beth was able to babysit at the facility where we were shooting - thank you Auntie Beth!) 

Our first family photo on Mother's Day!

By far the very best "first" this month though, was having Kate home for Mother's Day! We snuck away to the lake for the weekend with my parents (Kate's first full weekend away from home!) and she did great! She really enjoyed being in a condo with her parents AND grandparents - and seeing her Uncle Jaron and Auntie Shell (who were in town for a wedding!) She even let them hold her - which was a huge step forward in those relationships! 

Kate made her Yaai and Tutu these sweet paintings for Mother's Day, and I had so much fun watching her enjoy herself while "crafting"! (I see lots of fun craft times in our future!) We played in the pool, went for walks by the lake, and took pictures in the woods. I still can't believe that after 5 Mother's Days with empty arms, she was finally here to hold and hug and kiss! It was a very special day!

With my mom and my baby girl on Mother's Day!

We ended the month with another very special experience. On Memorial Day we created a little "memorial" of our own. Since that day marked 6 months since we took custody of Kate, we decided it was the perfect day to plant some special trees in her honor.

Planting Kate's special trees at Yaai and Dtah's house...

On our family land (where my father's family has lived for 4 generations) we planted 5 beautiful pink cherry blossom trees - one to represent each year that we waited for Kate!

Helping Papa dig the first hole!

We all worked together in the beginning... but when the sky opened up and it started pouring rain Kate and her Yaai went inside. Rusty and I couldn't help but laugh as we shoveled mud with my dad... of course we'd be doing this in a rainstorm after all the crazy things that happened during our adoption process! And considering Kate's Thai nickname means rainwater, it seemed strangely fitting! We are looking forward to seeing these little trees grow up with our little girl... and anxiously awaiting the beauty they will bring each Spring!

Planting Kate's Trees from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.

We can't wait to see these beautiful trees grow!

ATTACHMENT

Attachment this month has definitely been a dance... two steps forward and one step back.... one step forward and two steps back! Our plan was to have Kate ready to start daycare by the end of the month (just two mornings a week). We've been visiting once a week starting in April with Mama in the classroom... just helping her adjust and get comfortable a little at a time. This month we thought she was ready to try a few hours in the classroom without me. We did everything we could to prepare her... but the visit did not go well. I barely got her to agree to go in without me --- and only got her to finally agree because I let her hold my car keys (so she knew I wouldn't leave) and because the teacher promised she'd let her come to me in the hall anytime she asked. We really thought she'd come out a couple of times, see I was still there, trust I'd stay - and then enjoy herself in the class. But that was not the case.

Our sweet girl came out to see me 7 times in 55 minutes, and was totally panicked by the time we got home. She struggled to sleep at night for weeks, and we saw major regression and anxiety because of that visit. At times, it felt like she'd regressed back to how she was in January... just so anxious and fearful. The school setting looks too much like an orphanage to her - with a room full of children and no parents. Being there triggered memories of all the trauma she's endured. And her greatest fear is that we will leave her - so for me to try to convince her to stay somewhere without me brought those fears back to life. It is taking lots of time for her to recover (and of course we canceled our plans for daycare this summer! It was very clear that she wasn't ready!)

Kate still loves to stop and smell the flowers. She was so happy these "woke up"!

Despite her regression over school, she is still attaching to us more each month. These days she plays the "locked" game more often in our doorways, and gives (and gets) lots of kisses that way (you must give kisses to open the door!) She's also been giving kisses to me more and more just on her own (which I'm THRILLED by!) She even spent 2 hours strapped to my chest in our Lillebaby carrier one day this month, just wandering around looking at flowers with me at Home Depot. (I loved it!) She tells us often these days, "I need kisses!" and "I need hugs!" and we are more than happy to meet her demands! She must have alllll the kisses and hugs before either of us leave (she needs kisses on her forehead, nose, chin, lips, and each cheek. It's so cute!)

We are so lucky to have these cuties as next-door neighbors!

Kate and I have also started having a special "popsicle time" together. On hot days we each get a popsicle, sit together on our screened porch, and listen to music together on my phone until long after our popsicles are gone. (Usually it's some version of Jesus Loves Me, or some other little kid songs!) It's just the two of us, and we have lots of snuggles and eye contact! It's definitely helping with bonding, and it makes me smile when she asks for "popsicle time"!

We've been telling her for weeks and weeks now, "Mama and Papa ALWAYS come back." These days she will tell us before she leaves to go somewhere with the other parent (or her grandparents), "Always come back! Don't be scared!" as if to reassure us. It is the sweetest thing!

LANGUAGE

Her language is continuing to come along! I didn't do a great job of writing down her new words/phrases from this month - but I can tell you that "BLOCK PARTY!" was one of them! Haha! She talked about the Block Party for days and days (before and after it happened!) She's also been saying, "See you later! Bye! I love you!" to literally EVERYONE she sees (including strangers in the grocery store! Ha!) No doubt she's heard us say that to family and close friends, and is just copying it (without realizing who to apply it to). But it has touched quite a few sweet strangers when she's told them!

She asks these days if everything is from Thailand - or tells me certain things are from Thailand (and often she's right!) Multiple times a day she'll point to something and say, "From Thailand?" and wait for me to respond. I think she's just trying to connect the dots.

Kate loved our matching outfits for the Block Party!

Speaking of Thailand, she sadly no longer calls herself "Namfon" (her Thai nickname). She constantly referred to herself in third person when she came home, and would point to her things and name them too (Namfon!) as if to say, "that's mine!" These days though she fully answers to Kate, calls herself Kate, and introduces herself as Kate. As sweet as it is to finally have our "Kate" - we're sad to see her little nickname wiped away (despite us continuing to use it sometimes!)

We realized this month that she's struggling with the classification of things. For example, we've worked on teaching her animal names, but when a little girl at school asked, "What's your favorite animal?" she couldn't answer. (She knows tiger and bunny and puppy and kitty and lion and penguin and zebra - etc - but she doesn't know they are "animals"! Whoops!) We also realized she didn't know what "favorite" meant (she can tell you what she likes and dislikes but "favorite" is a bit harder to explain with limited language!) So those are two things we've been working on!

Riding the choo choo on our family trip to Nashville!

She is still not interested in books - which tells me her language/vocabulary still has a long way to go. But she did let me read a handful of books to her this month, which is at least a step in the right direction! (She's been completely avoiding them for quite a while because without knowing the language, they just aren't enjoyable.)

She does ask often for me to sing songs to her still, and has learned "Jesus Loves Me" which is adorable! I'm so glad our sweet girl loves music like her mama!

A few more things about Kate….

She is currently obsessed with the movie "Homeward Bound" from my childhood. She loves "Shadow, Sassy, and Champ" (and I'm not ashamed to say I cried the first time I re-watched it with her!) She begs to watch the "thuppies and kitty cat!" every day. We're realizing she is very athletic, and she can dribble a basketball with either hand while walking! She's also completely obsessed with footie pajamas, and wants to wear them every single night, no matter how hot it is! Her little toes have busted through her favorite pair of pink polka dot fox pajamas (which she's very sad about!)

A picnic at the park with some of our friends! We love playdates with the Kimes!

She's loving playdates with friends, picnics, wearing overalls with her Dtah, spending time with her neighbor-friends on our street, planting flowers with mama, watching honeybees in our purple tree, and finding "roly polys, wormies, and beetle bugs!" Auntie Beth has been amazing at finding "roly polys" during her visits and we've had cups and "critter catchers" full of them for weeks now. It is so sweet to see how gentle Kate is with little bugs, and how fascinated she is watching them and holding them!

Roly Poly Fun from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.

She is still deeply attached to her bunnies - who are now an entire family. She has her big gray bunny she got when she came home (Bunny), her little gray bunny (she calls Baby Bunny) who was in her Easter basket, and she's since added a little white bunny that was a gift from a friend to the "Bunny family". Big bunny is still the favorite though, and she was really excited to get him a pair of blue jeans from Build a Bear (since she's also still pretty obsessed with wearing blue jeans every day!)

Kate LOVES Baby Violet, Karis, and Mason (not pictured).

Her little imagination is continuing to blossom with every passing week. Lately she's been pretending to go to work with "Kali" (a friend Rusty shoots wedding videos with), or pretending to call Meow or to go to Thailand and visit Meow. She's always sure to give us goodbye hugs and kisses before she goes though, and always promises to come back!