Declined

..."Unfortunately, the Board has declined your application for the healthy infant program. They advised that they will consider applications without demonstrated infertility on a case-by-case basis only if the wife is over the age of 35..."

That's just a little snippet of the email we got on Friday. We were declined by the Thai Red Cross, because we cannot prove that we are infertile. As I said in this blog, we really hoped they would overlook that requirement - but no such luck. I'm not sure if they even read our profile and all the details about how involved we are in Thailand, or if they just turned us down based on the fact that we don't have "demonstrated infertility".

It doesn't make sense to me. Infertility is NOT an official requirement to adopt from Thailand, but it is a requirement to adopt a "healthy infant" from the Thai Red Cross, and the Thai Red Cross happens to be the organization that 3 out of the 5 Thailand adoption agencies go through. So we can either try to have biological kids - and if we succeed then we will never be accepted through the TRC  - OR -  we can try to have biological kids - and if we fail, and go through lots of testing, then in several years time we can reapply as "infertile" to the TRC program (which has a 3+ year waiting list just to be matched). Not the greatest situation to be in, huh?

We are disappointed to say the least. I won't say that we put all our eggs in this basket, but we sure did put a lot of them in there. We really hoped that the time we've spent working in Thailand, learning Thai, and all our other connections to the country might grant us some favor. But I guess this was not the program God had for us!

Everyone keeps asking us "what's next?" The short version is - more research and more prayer. We would appreciate it if you would pray for direction and confirmation from God about what our next step should be. There are still a couple of options for us when it comes to adopting from Thailand - we just have to figure out which one is the one God is leading us to. He knows the path to our little girl... we just have to get the directions from Him!

In the meantime, I am leaning on some very, very wise advice my friend Malerie (who is also adopting) gave me a while back. She told me that it's okay to be emotional, but when it comes to our adoption we have to operate in TRUTH. What that means is - We KNOW God told us to adopt. We KNOW God said our child would come from Thailand. We KNOW His will and we KNOW that it will be done in His timing. That is the truth that I must operate in when things feel hopeless. That is what I have to lean on when the world says this is impossible. It is so easy to drown in doubt and fear if my feet aren't planted on the solid rock of His TRUTH!

My husband Rusty has a different version of this. He has said for years, "If I can see the unseen, then I can handle the seen." Our focus must be on heavenly things and God's promises to us - not the earthly barriers we are facing right now.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for 

 and certain of what we do not see. 

- Hebrews 11:1 -