I've had friends ask if every day with Kate is magical... and the truth is, most days are more comfortable than they are magical (and there is a sweetness in the "comfortable" too!) Most of the time, it honestly feels like she's been with us forever! She fits so beautifully into our family, and she's doing so well that we have to remind ourselves that we've only had her for a month! But every now and then, the magic sneaks up and surprises me. Suddenly an ordinary moment will feel so extraordinary - because the reality that she is HERE and she is OURS will set in anew. When I get to sing her to sleep.... it's magic. Seeing her play in her room for the first time had me crying happy tears in the corner. Watching her dance to Christmas music while I make breakfast, and seeing her sitting beneath our Christmas tree at night makes my heart swell! And while opening Christmas cards addressed to "The Jackson Family of THREE" or "Rusty, Ericka, & Kate Jackson" I could not hold back the tears. There are plenty of difficult times that we are still experiencing as we adjust to life together - but then there are these moments when our life with her feels so completely picturesque... like watching my daughter play with my Dad for the first time, and hearing the song "Cinderella"come on my Pandora app at that exact moment. Suddenly my Dad and I were singing Kate the song we danced to on my wedding day, while she giggled. I wanted time to stand still!
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We missed so many of Kate's "firsts" while we waited on her the past few years - first smile, first words, first steps... but we sure are enjoying the "firsts" we get to experience together! In the past month, Kate has enjoyed:
Her first tuk tuk ride in Chiang Mai (she would ride them all day every day if we’d let her! She LOVES tuk tuks!), first paddle boat ride in Bangkok (Swan Boats in Lumpini Park), first train ride at the Birmingham Zoo (for Zoo Light Safari), and her first airplane ride from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, Thailand! (Followed by the long trip home – Chiang Mai to Seoul to Atlanta to Bham!)
Kate also had what we believe was her first trip to the beach in Pattaya (it was just a few minutes in the carrier on our first day after custody - but we'll say it counts!), the aquarium in Bangkok (she loved the penguins, otters, sea turtles, and sea horses), and the Zoo in Chiang Mai (she loved the elephant, birds, and tiny monkeys!)
We've taken our little girl on her first shopping trips too – to the mall in Chiang Mai for her first (shiny silver) tennis shoes (she never wants to take them off now!), and to the night bazaar (she picked out a bracelet and a coin purse).
And of course our most favorite "first" so far, was having Kate here for her first Christmas HOME with her family!!! It's taking me longer than expected to update my blog (personal time is few and far between these days) - but I hope to have a recap of Christmas (and a video) to share here with you all soon!
I prayed so hard that I would have a good little sleeper… while literally EVERYONE told me to kiss sleep goodbye. Luckily, God knew just what I needed! Kate sleeps anywhere from 9-12 hours a night (she even pulled a 14 hour night our first 2 nights home after travel!) She also takes a 1-2 hour nap most days. She is fully potty trained and only had one nighttime accident the first month with us. She loves bathtime before bed (she had never had a warm bath before... only cold showers at the orphanage due to the heat), putting on her PJs, and brushing her teeth. (One night she brushed them 8 times in a row!) We have only had 3 nights of “grief” that came either before or after a big move/transition (the first night of custody, then the night before the trip from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, and the night after we traveled from Chiang Mai home to America). She is a bit of a night owl and fights sleep at times (melatonin helps with that), but once she’s down – she is a sound sleeper! When she wakes up in the morning - she is a happy girl, who likes to stay in bed and snuggle a bit with Papa before eating breakfast. We loved co-sleeping with her in Thailand and our first few days home, but she decided on her own that she wanted to start sleeping in her own bed Christmas Eve Eve! (And her Mama cried! I wasn't ready for that yet!) She ends up in our bed sometime in the middle of the night still (each night), but I'm proud of how brave she is wanting to sleep in her own bed.
She is a GREAT eater. She has eaten almost everything we’ve offered – at least while we were in Thailand (though we usually were offering familiar Thai food). She has been more picky now that we’re home, but we’ve tried to keep rice, noodles, and spaghetti (all her favorites) in rotation often. She has no food issues as far as we can tell – she does not hoard or overeat. She will even share snacks happily with Mama and Papa, and with her friends too! Her favorite "treats" are gummy bears, gingerale, sprite, and anything chocolate!
These are a few of Kate's favorite things (right now anyway!) After not really being interested in stuffed animals the first 1-2 weeks with us, she now loves her Pooh Bear, Belle doll, and Bunny. She is constantly watching “Tigger lah Pooh” (My friends Tigger and Pooh) and watching the videos (in Thai) of the songs "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes", “How Does She Know”, and "The Farang Song"! She loves being tickled, dancing, and GOING! Whether it's in the car (she hasn't cried once getting into her carseat), a train, tuk tuk, or an airplane. She loves to watch the airplanes that come over our house too!
In the midst of our brutally long wait to be matched with a child, I remember having an emotional conversation with a fellow adoptive mom one afternoon. I don't remember the details about what we said that day, but I do remember one thing she told me, "You cannot miss your child." She reminded me that God knew exactly who our daughter was, and that no matter how much time passed or how many errors we dealt with in our case, we couldn't possibly "miss" her. I wanted desperately to believe my friend, but at that time I thought, "How crazy. We could be matched with any number of kids, and the truth is - we'll love any child we are matched with." And while that might be true - after meeting Kate - there is not a doubt in my mind that she is specifically ours! It is no mistake she's in our family. All that waiting wasn't for "any child" - it was specifically for HER. She was handpicked from heaven for us, and it's so evident that she is OURS!
Kate is definitely Rusty’s child because she loves sweeping with her broom, and she always wants everything (including her) to be clean. If a single piece of spaghetti falls on the table she wants it wiped up on the spot! And if her hands and face get messy, she begs for a wet wipe! She also likes to take photos and videos (just like her photographer/videographer Papa). She has so much fun with her wooden toy camera – telling us where to stand and how to pose. And she has taken no less than 10,000 selfies and photos on our iPhones (usually pretty bad ones blocked by her little thumb. Haha!) She is also athletic like Papa, and can pitch and hit a foam ball with her foam bat, and catch and throw a football surprisingly well. And then there is the most special "sign" that she is Rusty's child... on our 2nd visit we realized that Kate has a birthmark on the back of her right hand – exactly like Rusty had when he was her age! Isn't that amazing?
She is definitely my child because – she is for sure a girly girl! Kate loves to have bows in her hair and at least once a day she'll put her hand on her hip, cock her head to the side and ask, "Soi mai kha?" (Am I pretty? YES you are baby girl!!!) She also loves to pose for photos just like her modeling Mama! Kate likes lotion, anything you can spray that smells good (perfume, hairspray, febreeze, essential oils, etc), and pretending to put on makeup. She LOVES shoes – and her first few days home she would rather change my shoes for me 15 times (I wore dress shoes with pajamas a lot those days!) than play with her toys! She also loves princess songs, princess dolls, and crowns. She got a Princess Sophia doll as a Christmas gift, and within 10 seconds of having her out of the box she’d taken her crown off to put it on herself! Haha! That’s my girl! (She was certainly named appropriately! ;) She likes to sing and dance – and loves to have music playing. She has already figured out how to work her toy microphone at home (thanks Aunt Kristian!) and in our hotel room in Chiang Mai she would pull the coffee table up to the bed to create a “stage” for herself to dance on! She also loves bunnies – which makes me smile!
There are so many other memories I wish I could record, but for now I want to write down a few more things I don’t want to forget about Kate at this age... like the smell of her sweet little head, how soft her skin is, and how her precious little voice sounds saying “Mama!”. The first time she kissed me, what she looks like when she's sleeping, and how her tiny hand fits into mine. Hearing her try to sing along to my worship music, hearing her read to herself in “toddler Thai”, and the sound of her giggle (it is the best sound in the world!) The first time she saw a photo of me dressed as Belle (she gasped and smiled!), her bragging to the other kids about how pretty her mama is (we were told she did this every day after our visits to the orphanage! So sweet!), seeing her mimic me and pretend to put on makeup in my lap, and the very first time she said, “Love you Mama!”
We've taken our little girl on her first shopping trips too – to the mall in Chiang Mai for her first (shiny silver) tennis shoes (she never wants to take them off now!), and to the night bazaar (she picked out a bracelet and a coin purse).
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A few more things about Kate...
SLEEP
I prayed so hard that I would have a good little sleeper… while literally EVERYONE told me to kiss sleep goodbye. Luckily, God knew just what I needed! Kate sleeps anywhere from 9-12 hours a night (she even pulled a 14 hour night our first 2 nights home after travel!) She also takes a 1-2 hour nap most days. She is fully potty trained and only had one nighttime accident the first month with us. She loves bathtime before bed (she had never had a warm bath before... only cold showers at the orphanage due to the heat), putting on her PJs, and brushing her teeth. (One night she brushed them 8 times in a row!) We have only had 3 nights of “grief” that came either before or after a big move/transition (the first night of custody, then the night before the trip from Bangkok to Chiang Mai, and the night after we traveled from Chiang Mai home to America). She is a bit of a night owl and fights sleep at times (melatonin helps with that), but once she’s down – she is a sound sleeper! When she wakes up in the morning - she is a happy girl, who likes to stay in bed and snuggle a bit with Papa before eating breakfast. We loved co-sleeping with her in Thailand and our first few days home, but she decided on her own that she wanted to start sleeping in her own bed Christmas Eve Eve! (And her Mama cried! I wasn't ready for that yet!) She ends up in our bed sometime in the middle of the night still (each night), but I'm proud of how brave she is wanting to sleep in her own bed.
FOOD
She is a GREAT eater. She has eaten almost everything we’ve offered – at least while we were in Thailand (though we usually were offering familiar Thai food). She has been more picky now that we’re home, but we’ve tried to keep rice, noodles, and spaghetti (all her favorites) in rotation often. She has no food issues as far as we can tell – she does not hoard or overeat. She will even share snacks happily with Mama and Papa, and with her friends too! Her favorite "treats" are gummy bears, gingerale, sprite, and anything chocolate!
LANGUAGE
We have definitely slowed down her English acquisition with the fact that we speak basic Thai... but it's just been so much easier to actually be able to explain things in a way she can understand (instead of forcing English on her). We primarily spoke Thai to her in Thailand, but are working on more English now that we're home. Her English vocabulary right now consists of, "Mama, Papa, Baby, Puppy, Bunny, Pooh, Belle, Airplane, Yup, No, Yucky, Yummy, Banana, Apple, Medicine, Potty, Bath, Uh Oh, WOW, Please, and OTAY!" (okay) - plus some people's names (friends and family) - which I think is pretty good for only 2 weeks of English immersion. She will repeat other things, but these are words she uses on her own. She can also sing "Happy Birthday" in English (I think she learned that at the orphanage), and every time she sees a candle she thinks it's time to sing "Happy Birthday" and blow it out! Haha! (Her birthday is going to be so much fun!) She can also do a few of her ABC's and 123's (which is something she was learning at the orphanage in her English classes!)
FAVORITES
These are a few of Kate's favorite things (right now anyway!) After not really being interested in stuffed animals the first 1-2 weeks with us, she now loves her Pooh Bear, Belle doll, and Bunny. She is constantly watching “Tigger lah Pooh” (My friends Tigger and Pooh) and watching the videos (in Thai) of the songs "A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes", “How Does She Know”, and "The Farang Song"! She loves being tickled, dancing, and GOING! Whether it's in the car (she hasn't cried once getting into her carseat), a train, tuk tuk, or an airplane. She loves to watch the airplanes that come over our house too!
Now that we're home she likes her baby dolls (she takes their clothes off and on a million times)... but during our hotel stays she loved playing “elevator" (our closet was her pretend elevator), playing with rolls of toilet paper (she would make herself clothes out of them! Haha! She looked like a mummy!), and playing with the phone in the hotel room (we had to detach the phone line so she wouldn't call other rooms!) She also loves the water – whether she’s swimming, taking a bath, or just playing in the faucet. Sometimes she’ll wash her hands a half dozen times just so she can continue to play!
Kate loves animals, and is OBSESSED with "puppies" right now. She has watched the movie "Santa Buddies" (the one with the golden retriever characters) at least a hundred times since we got home! I don't think she's ever been around animals, and now she squeals every time she sees a dog. I am grateful that we have so many "puppies" on our street (a bulldog, german shepherd, corgi, golden doodle, and 2 labs) and for our sweet neighbors who patiently let her look at them and pet them all the time!
At least once a day we play a little game we've made up called "Mai Sabai". Rusty asks Kate in Thai, "Sabaidee Mai?" (Are you well?) and if she wants to be tickled, she responds, "Mai Sabai!" (I am not well!) Then she gets tickled until she yells, "Sabaidee Mak Mak!" (I'm very, very good!) Her giggle is the new soundtrack to our lives!
* * * * * * *
In the midst of our brutally long wait to be matched with a child, I remember having an emotional conversation with a fellow adoptive mom one afternoon. I don't remember the details about what we said that day, but I do remember one thing she told me, "You cannot miss your child." She reminded me that God knew exactly who our daughter was, and that no matter how much time passed or how many errors we dealt with in our case, we couldn't possibly "miss" her. I wanted desperately to believe my friend, but at that time I thought, "How crazy. We could be matched with any number of kids, and the truth is - we'll love any child we are matched with." And while that might be true - after meeting Kate - there is not a doubt in my mind that she is specifically ours! It is no mistake she's in our family. All that waiting wasn't for "any child" - it was specifically for HER. She was handpicked from heaven for us, and it's so evident that she is OURS!
* * * * * * *
There are so many other memories I wish I could record, but for now I want to write down a few more things I don’t want to forget about Kate at this age... like the smell of her sweet little head, how soft her skin is, and how her precious little voice sounds saying “Mama!”. The first time she kissed me, what she looks like when she's sleeping, and how her tiny hand fits into mine. Hearing her try to sing along to my worship music, hearing her read to herself in “toddler Thai”, and the sound of her giggle (it is the best sound in the world!) The first time she saw a photo of me dressed as Belle (she gasped and smiled!), her bragging to the other kids about how pretty her mama is (we were told she did this every day after our visits to the orphanage! So sweet!), seeing her mimic me and pretend to put on makeup in my lap, and the very first time she said, “Love you Mama!”
If you're still reading this long post, and you're considering adoption (or even if you're not) - please say YES! Start the process NOW! Every child is precious, and every child deserves a family. Kate has been the biggest blessing we've ever received! There is no way I could ever love a biological child more than I love this little girl. I can't believe that we could've missed her if we had said "no" to adoption - or if we'd given up when things got hard. My worst day with her is so much better than my best day without her. She was absolutely worth the wait! 💗
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