Finding BALANCE :: Thoughts on moving, decorating, and keeping my perspective

Sorry for the lack of blogging... I've been trying to dig myself out from under all these moving boxes. (And almost landing in the ER due to a night of excruciating stomach pain that we still don't know the cause of. Ugh. I am so OVER this year of health problems! I am officially on doctor #7 and "mystery illness #3" - and it's only September. My husband has nicknamed me "Job". But that's another story!)

Have any of you moved lately? What is it that makes this process so stressful? And EXPENSIVE?! We were really excited about moving, and thought it would be "no big deal". We told ourselves...

#1 - We don't have that much stuff!

#2 - We won't have to buy anything but a dining room table! (our last one was our landlord's)

#3 - We will be settled in NO TIME!

Oh boy, were we WRONG! First of all - I am convinced things multiply in a move. Seriously. Where did all those extra hangers come from?! And all those clothes? And how many purses/carrying bags/shopping bags do I OWN?! And how do we have THAT many boxes for the kitchen?! I am still trying to figure out where everything is (in boxes) and where to put it (in our house). And purging. A lot. (Dear Salvation Army, you can thank me later ;)

And that #3? TOTALLY DELUSIONAL. The house we are renting is bigger than our last one - and yet - nothing fits in it. All the little nooks that we had for things in our old house are just not in this one. I cannot figure out where to put anything! Not to mention our issues with #2 - which are seriously affecting #3.

See, we really did believe all we'd need to buy was a dining room table and chairs.  We were excited about buying a REAL piece of furniture that we loved, and could keep for a long time.  All our other furniture is "hand-me-downs" or thrift store/used furniture store finds, and I was excited to make a "real" purchase on a piece we would keep for a while (or forever!)  Until we got here, and realized our kitchen was tiny. I'm talking - one bedroom apartment size - tiny. Which means - we didn't have storage for our stuff! (And I'm not talking "fine china" - we don't own any of that. I mean - a crockpot, and mixing bowls, and casserole dishes, and a george forman grill and a cake plate. Would. not. fit. anywhere. Ugh.) So - we suddenly had to add a sideboard/cabinet of some sort for the dining room to our "to buy" list.

And THEN there were the curtains. I told Rusty before the move that I wasn't planning on buying any curtains for this house - because I'd find a way to use ours from our previous house. Since both were rentals, I'd bought the cheapest, most versatile curtains I could (all taupe, cream, brown, or black). I figured I would wait to "invest" in nicer, more brightly colored curtains until we bought a home and knew we were staying for a while. Well friends... I should've measured the windows. Because, they are ALL floor length. Which means all my curtains from our last house are too small! Frustration!!!

Now,  I realize, in the "real world" - these things really don't matter. The people we work with overseas could care less about kitchen storage and curtain length. They'd be happy just to have a kitchen and curtains! But I have let it get me in all sorts of a funk lately.

Instead of "God, I am SO thankful for the beautiful house that you provided for us, and for all the wonderful people who support our work, and for the money to pay our rent!" - I keep thinking - "Why can't we have "real jobs" and make more money so we can buy a house and I can paint my dining room walls a pretty terra cotta color instead of this ugly yellow!?"

Instead of, "God - thanks for giving me such an abundance of clothes and kitchen tools that this house is overflowing!" - I keep thinking - "I wish I had a walk-in closet. And I can't believe I have to buy a stupid cabinet for the dining room! Now I might not be able to get the table I wanted!"

And while reading design blogs for decorating ideas, I sometimes think, "Who in their right mind would pay THOUSANDS of dollars for a coffee table?!? Do you know how many starving kids that would feed?!"- but I also sometimes think - "I wish I could pay thousands for that GORGEOUS coffee table that would look SO good in my house. I am so sick of all our crappy hand-me-downs and thrift store furniture!"

Ugh. I am so fickle. And fleshy. Sometimes I don't understand why God loves me anyway!

I just wanted to be real with you guys and share what I'm struggling with right now. The truth is, I believe it's perfectly alright to have a beautiful home. I want our home to be a place that is comfortable, and attractive. I want it to be a place we enjoy working in and a place we can rest and relax in. I want it to be welcoming to guests when they need a place to stay. I don't think those desires are wrong or sinful. The truth is, I've been very blessed by friends with beautiful homes who have opened them up to us!  

HOWEVER - I also think we have to find a balance. I love this quote ::

{live simply sign from danielson designs ltd}

... but I don't know that there's a hard and fast definition of what that means for everyone. I think we are called to examine our lives and our spending on a regular basis. I think we are called to give and live sacrificially. But I don't necessarily think that means a call to poverty, or shirking away from God's blessings. The truth is, God loves beautiful things (have you seen His creation?!) and He loves to make His children smile! But in everything, we must find balance.

I am working hard on that right now. I'm trying to find a balance between my flesh and my spirit. I am working to remember that I can make a house beautiful without the most expensive things. I am working to remember that my home can be welcoming and comfortable without being perfect. I am working to remember WHY we sacrifice and just how incredibly worth it the kids are that we sacrifice for. And I am working to change my perspective to one that's more grateful.

And you know what? God is providing! And I am growing. And our home is coming together! And I promise I'll show you pictures and tell you all about the process.... I just wanted to share about the process in my heart first.

We made it!

I don't have time for a big update today, but I just wanted to let you all know that WE MADE IT! After a 2 day - 15 hour drive (about 7 and 1/2 hours each day through quite a bit of rain) we finally pulled into our driveway in ALABAMA!

We've been working non-stop since we arrived, trying desperately to get unpacked and settled in (I forgot how much WORK moving is!) but I promise as soon as everything is set up I'll share some pics with you. For today, I thought I'd leave you with our moving shots.

Here we are at the edge of our front yard in Michigan - standing by our (full) moving truck! We were tired but ready to hit the road!

And here we are in January 2009 (newly engaged) when we moved to Michigan! (This is actually in Kentucky. There was a LOT more snow when we arrived in Port Huron later that day!) I think it's funny how much bigger our truck is in the picture above.... married life means lots more stuff to move!

We're taking a break from unpacking today to drive over to Arkansas, and we would appreciate your prayers for Rusty's grandmother. She is in the hospital and hasn't been doing very well (she actually gave us quite a scare in the middle of our drive down) so we're going to head over and spend some time with her. We weren't planning on traveling again so soon, but it sure is nice to only be 5 hours away (and able to visit) instead of 16!

If you could pray specifically for HEALING in her foot (there is a chance it might have to be amputated), for the fluid to stay off her heart and lungs, and for her heart and kidneys to be strong and healthy, we would really appreciate it!

Goodbye Michigan..

Today, we start the 14+ hour caravan (Rusty in the 22' Penske truck + towing his car, me in my Explorer, and our friend Mark in his Tahoe) to Alabama. As much as I hate packing and moving, I am thrilled to be coming HOME!

Some of you know that the past 2 years and 8 months in Michigan have been one of the hardest seasons of my life. (For many reasons... maybe someday I will elaborate more on that.) Michigan is not my favorite place (helllooo, I'm a Southern Belle! If there's no SEC football or sweet tea or Chick-Fil-A then I'm not really going to feel 'at home'!) BUT with all that said, there are still plenty of things we will miss about the place we called "home" for our first 2 and 1/2 years of marriage.

We will miss our house. Our 3 bedroom, beautiful little house that the Gutierrez family worked so hard to prepare for us, and our dear, dear friend Arlene let us rent for only $300 a month! (I know - we were crazy blessed!) This little house was our first home as a married couple. It's where we came home from our honeymoon, and where Rusty carried me over the threshold. It's the first place I was able to truly call my own, and the place I realized I love to decorate! It's where we decided to make The Sound of Hope our own non-profit. It's where we laughed and planned and cried and fought and dreamed. We will miss that familiar feeling of coming "home" here after a long trip... we will miss the way the light floods through all the big windows.... we will miss our big front porch and the swing Rusty napped in.... we will miss the big back porch and the back yard full of flowers. And of course, we will miss my cute little "backyard bunnies" I have chased since we moved in (though I never did catch one!). After all, that's how I got my pet-name "Bunny" from Rusty! ;)

We will miss our church. The people who welcomed us in before they even knew us and made a place for us. The people who gave all of us (World Racers included) lots of furniture when we first moved to help us get on our feet. Pastor Mark & Tracee, Doug & Carrie, the Leadership Team, the people I sang on the worship team with, the guys Rusty played softball with, and all the amazing people whose stories we told through Rusty's video work with CC... not to mention the wonderful individuals and families who have chosen to support us & The Sound of Hope financially! I wish I could name everyone we'll miss from church but I'd surely forget a name (there are just too many people!) I look at all the sweet kids from our church and I can't believe how much we have seen them grow up over the past few years! We will definitely miss our hugs from sweet little Zoe, Haven, and Saige Gearhart, and watching Cory Wargo play football! :)

We will miss doing iStock shoots with Shawn and Rosie! I seriously had SO much fun with this "side job" over the past year a half! Brainstorming ideas with Shawn, pulling together costumes and props, and then the shoots themselves were just a blast! I've been a rockstar and a renaissance queen, a cowgirl and a cook, a nurse and a nerd, a "couple in love" and a 50's/60's girl, a businesswoman and a bride, a wife and a mom. We've done a Fall shoot, a Christmas shoot, a New Year's shoot, and just recently, a shopping shoot! It's been great to have this creative outlet, and SO neat to see where these pictures have started turning up! Plus, Shawn & Rosie are so talented! I have been amazed at the photos they've taken! We've been really blessed to have spent so much time with them and their sweet family!

And believe it or not - we will miss the weather! Okay... not all of it (about half the year here it is just miserable!) but we actually love the snow! We think it's beautiful. It will be odd not seeing it this winter (though I will be glad when it's not snowing in April, blech!) I am proud to say that this Southern Belle actually learned how to adapt to the snow and ice! We also LOVE Autumn here... there is no where in the world I've ever seen the trees turn so beautifully! And the fact that it really "feels" like Fall with a crisp, cool breeze tops it off! And then, there are the summers. Granted, they are short, but they are incredible! 70's to 80's with very little humidity and a cool breeze....ahhhh! If we could find a way to live up North July - December, and then down South the rest of the year, I think we'd be in heaven! (Weather-wise anyway! :)

I'm sure there are other things we will miss over time, or just find odd that we don't see anymore. It will be weird not to see signs for Canada (we live on a border town here), Canadian car tags and money, and not to hear people speaking French in Target and TJ Maxx. It will be odd not to see the river or the lake - both are truly beautiful (even in the ice and snow!) and the seagulls they bring all over town. We have a lot of "adjustments" ahead, even if we're returning to somewhere familiar!

But, on the way out of town, I just wanted to remember all the things we loved about Michigan. And to say "thank you" to the people here who have welcomed us, loved us and prayed for us while we've been here. We hope you all stay in touch!

Goodbye Michigan! Thanks for the memories!

House Hunting Results!

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." ~ Ephesians 3:20-21

That's the scripture we've been resting in since we started the "house hunting" process in Alabama. I learned long ago that God loves to bless His children with good gifts (Matt 7:11) but sometimes, we have to ask for them! (Matt 7:8) So Rusty and I sat down, and made a list of everything we were hoping for in a home... from the location, to the number of rooms and bathrooms, to a garage, to a big yard, to good neighbors, and even a dishwasher! We figured we should ASK for what we want.... after all, what's the worst that could happen? God could say no, right? OR He could say YES!

Those details may sound silly, but believe me, we had a specific reason for each of them. And when you live at home, and eat at home, and sleep at home, and entertain at home, and recuperate from crazy long trips overseas at home, oh...yeah...and WORK at home ALL day EVERY day, your home is a pretty important place! And when you travel a lot, it's very important that you trust your neighbors!

Soooo.... we prayed... and searched... and searched.... and prayed.... and got scammed.... and were charged $160 in bogus "fees"..... and wondered if we would actually be able to find anything in our price range... and then..... we found our house!

And, would you believe it - it had everything we asked for (and then some!)

• It has a garage (which means Rusty can now take care of his grandfather's truck that he inherited when he passed away, which means a LOT to him!)
• It has a large office (which means plenty of room for working!)
• It has an extra bedroom (because I have the gift of hospitality and really wanted space to bless visitors! After all, we have stayed in many friends guest rooms over the past 3 years!)
• It's in a safe area (Rusty quickly vetoed the house with 16 sex offenders in a 1 mile radius.)
• We have great neighbors (okay... we actually haven't met them yet BUT we know one of them is a policeman, which makes me feel super safe!) 
• It's 3 miles away from the #1 city on the list of "Best Places to Live in Alabama" (Helena - we are in Maylene/Alabaster)
• It has a basement area (which is good for all the tornadoes that hit Alabama)
• It has a dishwasher (which means we can use the juicer we got for our wedding! Yay for healthier options!)
• It has a big yard and back deck (because sometimes we need to get outside during so many hours at home!)

And it was the ONLY house in our price range (which wasn't much!), in a safe neighborhood, with all these things!

But I left out the BEST parts... the parts we didn't even ask for!

It turns out, this house also has a beautiful 16 foot exposed stone fireplace (we LOVE fireplaces!) and a HOT TUB! (We had no idea until we got there - it wasn't advertised on the flier!)

And, one more detail... one of my favorite trees is the birch tree, and recently I've been trying to find a way to decorate with birch wood in our home. (Except I can't, because it's CRAZY expensive!) Well, wouldn't you know, our backyard is full of these BEAUTIFUL white birch trees! I couldn't help but laugh... God knows that one of the ways I connect with Him best is nature, and He has the back yard all set up for just that!

These things may seem silly to you, but they are a big deal to us! And from the moment we knew we were moving we said, "God is going to provide an amazing home for us, and He is going to get all the glory!" So, we just wanted to brag on God a little to all of you! Isn't my Daddy God AWESOME?!

It really is TRUE... "ask and you shall receive".... He is a good Father who loves to give good gifts to His children!

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p.s. - The pic of the birch trees is just from my cell phone, so the quality isn't that great. I promise I'll share pictures of the house when we get all settled in! :)

p.p.s. - If you think this is just a "coincidence", then be sure to ask us about the 3 bedroom, 1.5 bath, full basement home full of big beautiful windows, with a 2 car garage, big front and back porches, on 2 lots of land, with a grape arbor out back that we've lived in for our first 2 and 1/2 years of marriage for only $300 a month. Yeah.... God is GOOD! :)

Miracles Happen (Part 2) :: Everything Changes

Difficulty is the very atmosphere of miracle - it is miracle in its first stage. 

If it is to be a great miracle, the condition is not difficulty but impossibility.

L.B. Cowman - Streams in the Desert

Yesterday, I left us in quite a predicament. I shared with you how we (my husband and I) were struggling with the fact that we were always traveling, and how unhealthy and difficult it was for us relationally. I told you how we needed to move - but couldn't afford to. We knew the best thing for us, and our non-profit, would be to relocate to the South, but it just seemed impossible!

The truth is... we probably should have quit. We were on course to make only $20,000 this year. TOTAL. For the two of us together! It seemed ridiculous. Both of us have college degrees and fantastic resumes after all! My husband is an award winning news and sports anchor who used to work for the top TV station in Arkansas. If he just went and got a "real job" - then all our financial worries would be over!

But we couldn't quit. When a friend of mine asked me why we couldn't quit, I told her the honest truth. The children we care for overseas in Thailand, Swaziland, and India need us. Sure, we could walk away from this and quit making all these ridiculous sacrifices.... we could live very comfortable lives. But those kids can't quit poverty. They can't quit the sex industry. They can't quit AIDS. They don't get to stop suffering just because they choose to.

And neither would we. We wouldn't quit because they couldn't quit. We wouldn't give up this work - caring for these kids, empowering them, educating them, and equipping them to QUIT POVERTY - to break OUT of the cycle of poverty and disease and lack of opportunities - we wouldn't give up until their lives were changed! We talked about it together as a couple and we made some decisions. We knew that with only $20,000 of income, within a few months we would not even have enough money to put food on the table and pay the bills anymore. But we told God - we would give it our all. We would go "all in" - and we would take The Sound of Hope as far as we could take it for the kids. And when we didn't have a cent left, then we would quit and get "real jobs". OR - He could show up, and we would continue the work.

It sounds crazy when I see it typed out like that. Who in their right minds would make that kind of deal with God?! But it didn't seem crazy at the time. And honestly, it wasn't some kind of ultimatum for the Creator of the Universe. I have known, from the very first moment we started The Sound of Hope, that it was God's dream.... and I have known, deep down, in the depths of my being, that it would succeed. In every moment of sacrifice, when it would be easier to quit - I knew I could never live with myself if I did. This is what I was meant to do - and I would not be disobedient... no matter the cost. Even if things seemed impossible.

But then, everything changed.

Suddenly, 4 of our monthly supporters decided to double their monthly support. One by one - without our request - they contacted me to let me know they wanted to give more. Then, 3 new people contacted us wanting to support our administrative needs (which help pay our salary). Momentum was building!

And then, last week, an incredibly large donation was made to The Sound of Hope. A donation that changed everything. A donation that renewed our faith, and renewed the hope of our partners overseas. A donation that would save lives in Thailand, and India, and Swaziland.

Because of this donation, we were able to get two of our little girls in India to the specialists they needed to see.

Because of this donation, two un-usable vehicles that the staff in Swaziland needs to get food to the carepoints, and to get the sick to the hospital, are going to be repaired.

Because of this donation, a community garden is going to be built in Swaziland, where the most poverty-stricken people can grow healthy food to sustain their families. And the best part is, the food will be shared with the orphans and vulnerable children who desperately need more than just rice and beans.

Because of this donation, 60% of The Promised Land Project has been funded, and we are so much closer to beginning construction. This Children's Home is going to protect little girls from being sold into sex slavery, and little boys from becoming child soldiers. Because of this donation, they will get to keep their innocence.

And, because of this donation - and because of all our monthly donors continuing to give - and because of those new donors, and the donors who doubled their monthly giving...

We are going to be able to MOVE!!!! 

We will still be on a tight budget, and (as always) we are still dependent on God to provide. But - with this drastic change in our income, we will actually be able to pay rent (above $300 a month) and can begin looking for a home in Birmingham, AL!!!

And of course, when we move down South we will be in a much better place for us, for our family, and for our business.... so - we won't be quitting any time soon! It is quite evident that God has BIG PLANS for us and for The Sound of Hope! He is a good God, and He will care for His children. That is a FACT. We need not fear the economy, for He promises that -

In times of disaster they will not wither; 

in days of famine they will enjoy plenty. 

- Psalms 37:19

And we are living proof of that!

God gets ALL the GLORY for what has happened this month, and I can say with some certainty that He is not done yet! I know He is going to continue to provide - we just have to continue being obedient. I can't wait to see what He will do next!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, 

according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory 

in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

- Ephesians 3:20-21

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*If any of you reading live in the Birmingham, AL area and know of a home that might be available for rent,  please contact me at erickabennett (at) gmail (dot) com. I'd be glad to tell you specifically what we're looking for and what our budget is. We would love any connections or advice you might have!

Miracles Happen (Part 1) :: Life on the Fringes

We've traveled a lot since we got married. Living far away from family means a lot of trips home, and when our supporters/donors are down South, it means even more trips for work. Add in the fact that our work takes us overseas too, and it's easy to understand why we travel a lot. But this year - it's been worse than ever. We've been home, living in our house, sleeping in our own bed, for 4 weeks today. That's the longest we've been anywhere all year.

Since Christmas, we have been "on the go". We started the year by traveling back to Michigan from the South (where we'd been for the holidays). Then we were off to Thailand (where we traveled continually for the full 3 and 1/2 months we were there), back to Michigan for 2 weeks, to Alabama for a family wedding, over to the Grand Cayman Islands for a family wedding, back to Alabama for work, back to Michigan, back to Alabama for my grandfather's 80th birthday, to Georgia for work, to Mississippi for work, to Arkansas for work, to Tennessee for work, and then back again to Michigan.

Are you tired yet?

Well, listen to this. I have not been able to actually unpack and put away our suitcases since Christmas 2010... that is, not until about the 2nd week of July.

When we came home from our last trip, (July 3rd), I counted up a few figures from our year. According to my estimates (ie - what I can remember) here is a glimpse of what life has been like for us in 2011:

• From January 1, 2011 to July 3, 2011 - there were 184 days. Of those 184 days, we only slept in our bed 39 nights.

• During those 6+ months, we slept on 26 different beds, 2 air mattresses, and spent 1 night on the ground in a tent in Thailand.

• The longest we were any one place at one time was 16 days.

• We have spent time in at least 25 different cities, 9 states, and 5 countries. 

• We logged over 20,000 airmiles - which equals around 50 hours in planes. To put that into perspective, that's over 6 (8 hour) workdays.

• We spent over 150 hours traveling by car. To put that into perspective, that's almost 19 (8 hour) workdays. And I should add, that "regular time" in the car (trips to the grocery store, etc) were not counted. The trips that were counted were only those that were an hour or longer at one time.

As you can imagine, we are tired. But - more than being tired... we are lonely.

With this kind of lifestyle, there is no way for us to have healthy relationships with anyone but each other. We don't really belong anywhere. We aren't really missed anywhere.....because we aren't in one place long enough to leave a void when we are gone. We don't have regular communication with anyone - because we aren't a regular part of anyone's life. And keeping up long-distance relationships, when all you have is long-distance relationships, is pretty much impossible.

It's no one's fault really. When we are down South we are only there long enough to meet a friend for a quick lunch or a coffee break. That's hardly time to have a heart to heart or really catch up with anyone. When we are in Michigan we're only here for a few weeks... and that's hardly enough time to get settled back into a routine - much less become a regular part of other people's lives.

It's a terrible reality, and it's been wearing on us a lot this year. We seem to be living our life on the fringes of everyone else's..... never in one place long enough to plant roots.... unable to find that sense of belonging. We've become "drifters" of some sort, and that's just not what we were made to be. The lack of relationship has not been good - not for our emotional health, not for our marriage (after all, I need girlfriends! and my husband needs guy friends! All of our relational needs are not met by each other.), and not for our spiritual lives (I'm a firm believer that we need to walk through life in community with other people, and we have definitely not had any of that lately).

We knew there was a problem.... but, how could we fix it? The logical reasoning was simple - if we were spending half of our time traveling down South for work and for family, then it would make sense for us to relocate! If we'd just move down South, then half of our travel time would disappear! We'd be able to have a "home base" in the area where all our donors, supporters, and personal networks were located, and as an added bonus, we would also be closer to our families. After all - we'd moved to Michigan for Rusty to work in The World Race office, and not only was he no longer employed with The World Race - but that office had closed and all our coworkers had moved away!

But here is where we hit our dead end. Since we started a non-profit in one of the worst economic recessions in history.... and since we live in an area of Michigan with 30% unemployment.... our finances were lacking. The place we live now (a 3 bedroom house) only costs us $300 a month in rent (totally a "God thing"!) and with our current income we could not afford any more than that. Moving seemed impossible.

Unless....

One of two things had to happen. Either - #1 - God had to provide a free or cheap house ($300 or less per month) for us to rent down South. - OR -  #2 - We needed some seriously large donations to start coming into our non-profit The Sound of Hope.

But both of those options sound crazy..... right?