Unforseen Inheritance

I have asked myself, my pastor, my counselor, my husband, my mom, and God the same question at least a thousand times over in the past 5 years (and especially over the past few months):

"Why does this have to be so hard?"

As I shared in my last blog, our adoption journey has been brutal. While every adoption has it's challenges - ours has had 100 times our fair share. Our 4th agency (yes... we're now on agency #4) calls it a "traumatic adoption". The joys we've experienced have been minimized, and the pain and stress have been multiplied. There has not been one segment/season/step in our adoption that was completely enjoyable. Every good day has been quickly shrouded by a dark veil of bad news in some way, shape, or form. We have had more people praying for our adoption - all over the world - than I can count. They number in the thousands. And yet, we have seen very, very few specific prayers answered in any recognizable way.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been mad at God. And I don't just mean a little miffed. I mean FURIOUS - shaking my fist at heaven, crying until I can't breathe, "I don't want to talk to you any more" mad. I actually spent a few weeks this Fall not going to church, because I just couldn't bear to hear others sing worship songs when I felt so forgotten by God. How could He answer other people's prayers and not mine? I get that He is not a "Santa Clause God" - but I wasn't praying for a shiny new car! I was praying - in accordance with scripture, after being obedient to His call to adopt, as the Holy Spirit prompted - for my daughter to come home. I didn't ask for an unrealistic miracle. I didn't request that somehow we adopt a beautiful Thai infant in a 6 month process. I just asked for a typical timeline - a 2-3 year process to adopt a child somewhere between 1 and 2 years old. Instead, we got an almost 5 year timeline and we have an almost 4 year old. And I am still deeply grieving the years we lost with our daughter. 

It was in the midst of this grief and anger (and a season of "I don't want to talk to you God") that He decided to talk to me. It was mid-September, after all my faith for an "August" word was spent. I was brushing my teeth before bed one night when He began our little chat. 

God started by reminding me of everything our daughter is about to lose. You see... the day we take custody of Kate is the day she loses the only home she's ever known, caregivers that she loves like family, children at the orphanage who are like siblings to her, her sense of stability, her language, her culture, and her community. Yes, it's true that she is gaining a family - and that is going to change her life forever! But to get a "forever family" - first she has to lose everything.

Our little girl is in a good orphanage. She is well loved and well cared for - and she has no idea that those caregivers (hired nannies and willing volunteers) are not her family. She doesn't understand what a mommy and a daddy are. She doesn't understand that right now - she has no family, no safety, no security, and no inheritance. And she won't understand when we take her - why she has to lose everything.

She won't understand that in the long run - it's worth it. She can't see that at 4 years old. All she's going to see is pain and loss. And she might hate us for it. Because from her perspective - we are causing her immense pain! And she can't possibly understand right now that it will be worth it someday.

It breaks my heart to think about what Kate is going to have to endure just so that she can have a family. If there was ANY other way for her to get a family - any easier way - believe me, I would take it (even if it meant us losing her). But her birth family is unable to care for her... and domestic adoptions (which would at least allow her to keep her language and culture) are not part of Thai culture. (As a matter of fact - even step children are often abandoned in Thai families because their parent's new spouse does not want to raise them!) International adoption is the only way for Kate to have a family. She will have to lose everything, to gain an unforeseen inheritance. 

And when I realized that, it dawned on me. What if what I'm going through is for the same purpose?

This adoption process feels like it has cost us everything... and I don't understand why. From my perspective - it shouldn't cost this much. From where I'm sitting - there has to be a better way. In my finite understanding - I think God could have made this process so much easier.

But what if - like our daughter - we have to lose everything we have now, in order to gain something even better? What if losing what is comfortable and beautiful here and now - means that somehow we will gain an unforeseen inheritance?

What if walking through this FIRE is what it takes to get us to destiny? And what if there's something extraordinary waiting for us on the other side of these flames... but the only way to reach it is to walk right though (and maybe get burned in the process?)

Out of love for my daughter - I am going to put her through one of the hardest, most brutal transitions of her life. Out of love for her, and because it is the only way to get her what she really needs (a family) - she will lose everything that is dear to her right now. It is going to hurt her. But ultimately I will allow her to experience that pain - because I know it is what's best for her in the end.

So - what if God is doing the same thing to me? What if He is allowing me to experience this pain, because He knows it is what is best for me in the end? To Kate - us taking her out of the orphanage (and away from everything familiar) will not seem loving. It will actually seem cruel. And yet we will tell her it's because we love her, and we will ask her to trust us in spite of the pain. So what if all my pain - which appears to be cruelty at the hand of God - is actually done in love? What if there is incredible purpose in this pain?

God spoke all of this to my heart in the 5 minutes it took me to brush my teeth that night. I crawled into bed, and humbly revealed it all to Rusty though tears. I felt guilty for not trusting God. "How can we ask Kate to trust our love for her through her pain, when I can't even trust God's love for me?"

And then I realized something else... 

Kate may actually hate us for a while when we first take her from the orphanage. She may scream and cry and kick and throw things. She may say awful, hurtful things in her anger. I actually know an adoptive mom who was bitten by her son just a few days after meeting him. I know another whose little girl screamed "I DON'T WANT YOU" to her face all day, every day, for weeks.

And you know what? If Kate does any of those things, I will understand. I will have compassion on her - because I know she cannot see how this pain could possibly be good for her. I will endure every hateful word, wipe away every tear, and comfort her through every outburst if I need to. I will sit nearby as she cries and whisper words of love all day, every day, until she believes them. Nothing she can say or do will ever make me love her less.

I believe it's the same with God. In the days when I have felt so abandoned... so betrayed - I think He understood. The days I've yelled and screamed at heaven - I don't think He turned away for one second. And the days I cried until I couldn't breathe, were the days that I believe He sat nearby and whispered words of comfort. I couldn't hear them at first, and once I heard them I couldn't believe them for a while... but still He persisted - undeterred by my fits of anger and sadness. Why? Because He knows this hurts, and I believe it breaks His heart to put me through it. But maybe, just maybe, He is willing to cause me pain for my ultimate good - and an unforeseen inheritance is waiting for me on the other side. 

A Girl Worth Fighting For

I have heard adoption called many things. Beautiful, sweet, precious, kind. Most people think of it as charity...  something "nice" that is done to "help" a child in need. But friends - that couldn't be further from the truth. A fellow adoptive mom reminded me recently as she prayed over me that adoption isn't charity, it's WAR.

If you don't believe in "spiritual warfare" try adopting. I promise, your eyes will be opened in ways you never imagined. 1 Peter 5:8 reminds us that "Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." We have experienced spiritual opposition and attacks in the past, especially in the line of work we do - but I've never felt "stalked" by the enemy before the way I have since we started this adoption process. The truth is, adoption isn't "beautiful" and it isn't "charity". Adoption is hard, heart-wrenching, sacred work. Adoption is fighting fiercely to protect those most vulnerable in this world. Adoption is saying YES to enter the suffering of an orphan - so that their lives can be ransomed.

And the enemy hates it.

I can't even being to tell you all the ways we have been "attacked" since this process began. And the closer we got to our daughter, the more vicious the attacks became. I haven't shared them all on my blog... mainly because I didn't want this to be a place where I constantly complained. But the close friends who I've shared everything with, and the counselor I've been seeing have been horrified by what we've been through. I literally have had at least half a dozen new "assaults" to deal with each week over the past few months.

We have dealt with financial issues - both in the form of unexpected fees (or lost finances) in the adoption process, and in our personal income levels. We have dealt with health issues - for ourselves, the children in our care worldwide, and our families. All in the same week (a few months back), we had children we care for through the Sound of Hope diagnosed with tuberculosis, typhoid, epilepsy, and one hospitalized for an overdose due to a doctor prescribing her too much medicine. My back completely "went out" due to inflammation from stress back in October - landing me flat in the bed for almost 2 weeks. I was in so much pain that I couldn't walk, couldn't sit up, couldn't dress myself. It was unbearable.

The week before we left for Thailand, literally in one 24 hour time span - two long-time family pets died, our car had 3 different problems we needed to fix, my Great Uncle had 2 strokes, and my mom announced that she needed to have surgery on her spine while we are out of the country. (Hard news to hear at anytime... but it was especially hard for me to know that I wouldn't be home to take care of her, and that I would be SO far away if anything went wrong!)

In the midst of all these personal issues - we have faced more obstacles in our adoption than I can even begin to recount here. There have been delays, on top of delays - that no one can explain. We've dealt with lost paperwork, excessive requirements, innumerable errors in paperwork, closing agencies, negligence, and more red tape than you could ever imagine. Every timeline we're given - we surpass it. If I had a dollar for each time someone told us, "I don't know why this hasn't come through yet!" or "We've never seen this happen before!" or "that really should be approved by now" or "your case is really difficult" - we could buy a new car.

We spent our last few days at home (when we should have been packing and resting up for our trip) dealing with a new and unexpected delay/issue/obstacle. I spent hours on the phone with agencies and government offices - desperately trying to expedite our final approval so that we could come home in time for Christmas. Here in Thailand, I spent hours again yesterday desperately trying to fix the same issue. Today, we found out that our approval still hasn't come, and we will likely be stuck here for weeks - missing our first Christmas home as a family, and costing us more money than we had initially budgeted for this trip.

We're exhausted by the stress we've endured. There has not been one segment of this process that has gone as planned. Every time we experience JOY - it is quickly dampened by the news of a new obstacle to overcome. Every single step we've taken over the past (almost) 5 years has been excruciatingly difficult. And these difficulties have affected our marriage, our friendships, our financial stability, our health, and our sanity. This process has brought us to our knees again and again. Our adoption journey has been brutal. And it wasn't a battle - it is a WAR.

So why do we keep fighting? I know so many people think we're crazy. The truth is we don't HAVE to do this. We could probably get pregnant if we "just wanted to have a baby" (we don't know because we haven't tried). But we have believed this whole time, with all our hearts, that our baby girl is in Thailand. And we believe that SHE is a girl worth fighting for.

It isn't crazy to willingly walk into battle if you believe in what you're fighting for. Much like the Armed Forces in our wonderful country (God bless our men and women in uniform!) - we entered this war willingly. This wasn't a draft. We CHOSE to "enlist". That's what people do when they believe that they have something worth fighting for.

The week before we left for Thailand, I spent some time catching up with another adoptive mom. As we shared our hearts, and I recounted some of my latest struggles she asked me - "Knowing what you know now... would you do it all again?" Without hesitation - I said YES.

YES. Not because I want to endure these things. Not because I have to. But because parents do whatever they have to do to get to their child.

If you're a mom or a dad reading this right now... what would you do to get to your son or daughter? If someone kidnapped them... how much would you pay? What would you endure to get them back? What lengths would you go to - to ensure their safe return?

I see our journey in that light - much more than I see it any other way. That little girl whose picture we've held in our hands for 7 months is our daughter. And I don't feel like I'm fighting for the sake of "some adoption" - I feel like I am fighting to protect the life of my daughter. And all that this has cost us? This is her ransom.

I shudder to think what Kate's life would look like if she was not adopted. The past few days in this city, I have seen her in the eyes of so many young women I've crossed paths with. I wonder if she would have ended up on Walking Street... one of the worst Red Light Districts in the world (less than 3 miles away from her orphanage). I wonder if she would have ended up working some dead-end job... struggling to make ends meet. I wonder if she would have gone on to University and gotten a good job - but come home every night to an empty apartment, and endured every holiday alone year after year.

I think of how empty and lonely and frightening my life would be without my parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins. I cannot imagine our little girl - or any child - enduring a lifetime utterly alone in this world.

And so, we keep fighting. We keep fighting so that Kate never has to be alone. We keep fighting so that Kate never has to feel unloved. We keep fighting so that Kate has a family, a future, and an inheritance that she could not get any other way. We keep fighting because she is a girl worth fighting for. We keep fighting - because EVERY child is worth fighting for.

Last year, I read this blog about adoption and foster care, and what was written there has wedged it's way deep into my heart. It has been the single most encouraging thing I've read - and I have come back to it on many dark, hard days. Jason Johnson talks here about how saying YES to the suffering that comes with adoption - is very similar to the YES Jesus exclaimed when he was faced with the cross. He said YES - not because He had to. No one forced Him to endure that pain and suffering. But Jesus said YES out of His enduring love for us... because it was the only way to redeem our lives.

When Jesus said YES to the cross - "It was Him willingly choosing the cost of our joy over the price of His pain."

If there had been any other way, he would have taken it. He asked that the cup pass from Him, but ultimately He drank it willingly. And so, I have been reminded of God's love for me each time I've chosen to once again drink from that cup of suffering on behalf of my daughter.

"The truth is that God is using you, a mere human, to solve a seemingly insurmountable human problem. Confusion, frustration and exhaustion are inevitable and unavoidable - but He is faithful and good and right there with you. The gospel doesn't guarantee that everything will be easy, but it does guarantee that there's hope, and that no matter what, Jesus is worth it and so is what you're doing for these kids."  - Jason Johnson

We say YES to the struggle, the suffering, the brokenness, the attacks, the pain, the stress - out of love for Kate. And friends, this world needs more people who will say YES to endure a season of pain and hardship - so that other precious children don't have to endure a lifetime of being an orphan. We need more soldiers, willing to go to battle on behalf of these kids!

We said YES out of love for Kate, and we will keep saying YES. (This doesn't mean Kate is indebted to us in any way. This doesn't make us Kate's savior. This doesn't make us super-human. But I hope it does make us a little more like Jesus, because He is someone I do aspire to be like.)

But the truth is friends, this WAR is far from over. It didn't end when we got matched with our daughter... it only intensified. And it didn't end when we flew to Thailand... we have dealt with another round of attacks this week. And it won't end when we meet Kate... or when we take custody of her... or even when we come home. There are many battles in this war, and some we have won... but others we still have yet to fight. Because ultimately - this is a war for our daughter's life, her heart, and her future.

We hope you will continue to "wage war" with us in prayer - as we meet our daughter this week, as we take our first steps as a family of three, and in the months and years to come as we continue to fight for Kate's heart. This is an epic war... and we are weary, but resolved. We will never surrender because we know we have something - someone - worth fighting for. 

Kate's Oxford Shower

Kate's 4th and final shower was on October 2nd, in my hometown. My family has been a part of Lakeview Baptist Church since I was in the 8th grade, and it meant so much for the LBC ladies to throw this shower for us!

All of our showers have been beautiful and so special... and I loved this one because my family (and a lot of the church family and family friends I grew up with) were there! There were people from Lakeview Baptist Church, others from DeArmanville First Baptist Church, and family friends from Oxford High School too. A lot of these ladies helped raise me, and it meant the world to me to have them all come together and celebrate our little girl. (I tried to get a group picture and family photo before anyone left but I know we're missing some. I loved seeing each of you there though! I just wish we could have visited longer!)

We got so many beautiful things, including Kate's first pairs of ruffled pants and her first two items with her full monogram - from her sweet cousins Elaine, Megan, and Mary Beth! 

[ PHOTOS :: 

Top Left - A family photo - Left to Right, my Aunt Beverly, Aunt Tammy, myself, Mom, and Aunt Angie. Love these special ladies! Also in attendance (but they left before I could snap a picture) were my Great Aunt Juanita and cousin Renee. // Top Right - A glimpse of all the beautiful things Kate was given! There were also TONS of gift cards - which allowed us to get things we needed from her registry. Thank you friends! // Bottom Left - Kate's first items with her full monogram. So sweet! // Middle Right - A timeline of all Kate's baby pictures. (Sorry that we have to blur her sweet face out for the blog!) // Bottom Right - A group pic of (almost) everyone who came to this special shower. ]

Thank you to everyone who came, sent gifts, and helped host this shower! 

We're grateful, and we can't wait for you all to meet our sweet Kate!

Kate's Birmingham Shower

Our sweet Kate's 3rd Baby Shower was thrown by some of my closest friends, and held in our neighborhood (Crestwood) on August 7th.

Every one of our showers were beautiful and special for different reasons. This one meant the world to me, because it was thrown by my best friend from high school and three of my closest Birmingham friends (who are also our neighbors!) They went all out for this special day... and every little piece of decor was perfect, down to the last detail! It looked like something straight out of Pinterest! ;)

I loved the map connecting Alabama and Thailand on the mantle, and the pink "ultrasound" with Thailand on it too. There were little touches all around like bunnies and elephants - that showed just how much these friends know and love me! They even printed out some photos from my blog to display of us throughout our adoption journey!

The food was delicious, and the decor was absolutely lovely! But what surprised me the most was the sweet craft idea the hostesses came up with. I have seen many craft stations at baby showers... to "create your own onesie", or burp cloth, or something else special for the baby. I had no idea my amazing friends would come up with something that would work for an adoption shower though! I almost cried when I saw this spot set up in the kitchen. 

Every one who attended was invited to write out a prayer for Kate on a prayer flag, that was later turned into a banner for her room. Neither Rusty, nor I, could hold back the tears when we read the touching words of our friends, lifted up to God on behalf of our daughter. This little "craft" was such a special addition to Kate's room!

Pictured below are my 4 amazing hostesses: To the left is Kristian (my best friend since the 8th grade), Heather (a dear neighbor-friend and fellow adoptive mom... and her new baby girl she is pregnant with is technically "pictured" here too! Her sweet kids Mason and Karis came as well. I loved the gift Karis picked out for Kate, and Mason was an awesome little 5 year old photographer when we needed a group pic!) To the right in this photo is Stefanie (a neighbor-friend who has been such a great support system to me), and Katie (a neighbor friend and church friend I have been so blessed to have in my life... and her sweet baby boy Harp!) I love these girls to pieces! There aren't enough words to say what they each mean to me, and I cannot wait for the day Kate gets to meet them! 

Once again, Kate received a car full of beautiful gifts! Her Aunt Kristian is already spoiling her rotten - by giving her dozes of gifts, including a princess doll, a princess castle tent, and a working microphone (the perfect gift from the friend I sang with for years and years! Her daddy was our choir director too, and I know he would have loved that gift!) My dear friend Erin got her the most adorable little gray upholstered chair for our living room (not pictured) that is just Kate's size! Our neighbors got her so many sweet things from her registry, including the cutest little kaleidoscope camera (so she can be a photographer like daddy!), and lots of Thai books that we will enjoy reading to her. And we love her little backpack from our across the street neighbors, which I know we're going to use a lot on this trip to Thailand! 

I got emotional several times throughout this shower... because the people who attended are the ones who have seen so much our our journey up close. They have witnessed the tears and the hard days first hand... and prayed and cried alongside us. They have cheered us on, held us up, and been the best support system we ever could have asked for. They are the ones who celebrated in person with us when we were finally matched, and the ones I know I will call when I need support once our baby girl is home. I loved every moment of this beautiful day with all of these beautiful ladies in the same room!

Thank you dear friends, for helping to shower us and Kate with so much love! 

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Kate's Arkansas Shower

Kate's 2nd baby shower was held in Arkansas at her "Tutu's" church - First United Methodist Church of Monticello, on July 31st.

It was a beautiful event that just happened to be all pink and aqua - the colors we're decorating Kate's room with! Now you know you are loved when you have more than a dozen "hostesses" at your shower! (Only 8 are shown below, but there were more than 12!) These ladies put together a lovely event, and they all went in together to get us a top of the line carseat to keep Kate safe! We were thrilled to have that item checked off our list. Thank you ladies!



Kate's "Tutu" (Rusty's mom) has waited a long time to be a grandmother, and I know this shower was really special to her too! She has the sweetest friends and church family, and I had a wonderful time with them! There was lots of laughter and overflowing JOY at this shower (as you can see from these photos!)



At this shower Kate got her very first CareBear (and as an 80's kid, I loved that!), lots of cute clothes, games, and books, and some really special items all the way from Alaska from Rusty's mom. She even got a "moose-keteer" shirt to match Rusty's mom's group shirts from their trip! So cute!



At the end of the day we had so many gifts that Rusty had to come to the church to help us pack them up! We drove back to Alabama with our car overflowing with gifts, and our hearts overflowing with love and gratitude. Thank you to each and every part of our Arkansas "family" who made this shower so special! We look forward to visiting and introducing Kate to you someday soon!

Kate's "Miss Alabama" Shower

I hoped to share these blogs months ago - but this Summer and Fall we kept ourselves busy preparing Kate's room and our home, and dealing with unexpected issues on the adoption front. Now here we are - just days away from meeting our little girl! As many things as I have on my heart to share - I want to first take the time to recap Kate's four beautiful showers here so that someday, when she looks back on this blog, she will see that she was loved by so many who anticipated her homecoming!

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I had no idea what to expect when it came to Baby Showers for our little girl. With so many "unknowns" and long wait times with adoption, it is hard to know when or how to plan a shower. I wondered if we would have the opportunity to have any showers for Kate. Imagine my surprise, when mere days after our matching, I was contacted by two sweet friends from my Miss Alabama Pageant days - begging me to let them throw our first shower! I was so touched by their excitement, and soon plans were underway. Our very first shower for Kate was held on July 10th and announced with this beautiful invitation.

My time in the Miss Alabama Pageant and the Miss America Organization impacted my life in extraordinary ways. Growing up without sisters - that void was quickly filled when I began to compete in pageants. It meant the world to me to have so many of my "Mu Alpha Sigma" (Miss America Sorority) sisters, my very first director (from the year I was Miss Gadsden Area), and so many of the Miss Alabama volunteers and pageant moms (who took such good care of me in my competition days) come together to celebrate our little princess! These ladies have helped "pray Kate home" from the moment we announced we were adopting almost 5 years ago. It was so special to celebrate our little girl with them at this beautiful event! 

The "theme" for this shower was "sugar and spice and everything nice" - because that's what little girls are made of you know! 

The decorations were lovely - there were pink roses, pink banners, and pink details everywhere! The food was delicious - and in keeping with the theme everything was sweet and spicy! We had the most delicious cake bites, candied jalepenos and cream cheese, and of course Pad Thai. I loved that so many of our friends got to try this delicious Thai dish for the first time that day!

I loved having 3 of my precious "Impact Award" winners there to celebrate with me too! These girls are so special to me, and I cannot wait for Kate to meet them someday! I am blessed to know so many women through the MAP that I know will be wonderful role models for our little girl (and these are 3 of them!)

This beautiful day was made possible by these two precious ladies below! Katie (left) was one of my very first friends I made the first year I competed in the Miss Alabama Pageant. I just adore her - and have been blessed to stay in touch with her long after we "retired" from pageants. Her incredible mom Laura (right) is the person I lovingly refer to as my "Fairy Godmother". She made the gorgeous custom Belle costume I used for several years in my side job as a "Party Princess"! Both of these women are so beautiful, kind, compassionate, talented, and full of LOVE and JOY! It blessed my heart to have them throw a shower for Kate! Thank you Boyd Ladies! 

At the end of the day, Kate was incredibly spoiled with so many beautiful gifts! She received her very first smocked dress and her very first monogrammed shirt (necessities for any southern lady!)... her very first Auburn dress (from an Alabama fan no less! She is loved!)... fairy tale blocks, princess pajamas, a box full of Princess Belle goodies from my director Amy (she knows me so well) and so many other beautiful things you can see pictured below. She also got an adorable radio flyer tricycle that I couldn't fit into the picture, and lots of gift cards! 

Thank you to my Miss Alabama family for showering our little princess with so much love! 

Hello from Thailand!

Friends, please forgive me for the delayed update here on my blog! The past week held a lot of unexpected challenges that took so much of my time and attention. (Par for the course it seems with this adoption!) My plan was to update my blog with several things I've been waiting to share, and to post a blog the day before we left for Thailand - but it just wasn't possible. Instead, we spent hours and hours on the phone with 3 adoption agencies, US Immigration, and our State Senator's office trying to figure out why our final approval has been delayed. We made phone calls in the daytime and packed at night... and didn't go to bed at all the night before we left the country. I'll share more about that later - but right now I am thrilled to tell you that we are already in Thailand!

Our last day and night at home were filled with messages from friends, texts, phone calls (I'm so sorry that I couldn't reply to all of them - but every message meant so much to us!) and unexpected visits. One precious friend stopped by to give us a beautiful weighted blanket she made for Kate (thank you Katie! We love it!!!). Our across the street neighbors stopped to pray for us in their driveway, let us try out our Lillebaby Carrier on their kids, and gave us lots of goodbye hugs (Love you Anderson Fam!) And our next-door neighbors, The Clantons, came by with more hugs, more prayers, and the sweetest cards!

The oldest boy and girl (Harris and Margo) wrote part of their cards in Thai (they've been trying to learn Thai so they can talk to Kate!) and even included a donation of their own money for our "adoption fund". I cried reading their sweet cards, and cried again when they prayed for us on our back porch. We completely hit the jackpot with our neighbors you guys! They are like family to us. I can't even begin to explain all the ways they have loved and supported us through this process! And as you can see in the video below, Kate has some pretty excited playmates who cannot wait to meet her! (This is Piper and Olive - who are just 2 of the 13 kids on our block!)

We can't wait to meet Kate! from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.

We flew out of Birmingham Friday morning at 6am. Because of all we'd been dealing with last week, I honestly didn't have time to let the significance of our travel day fully sink in. One of our mentors used to preach about how God doesn't do things quickly - but He does things SUDDENLY. I can definitely say this has been true in our case! After waiting, working, and praying for almost 5 years - I was shocked to find that our travel day was suddenly here! My parents dropped us off at the airport at 4am, and that's when I started to get emotional. Our bags were packed and we were on the way to our baby girl! It seemed so surreal!

I let the tears fall when our plane lifted off out of Birmingham. This was it - our last moment in our city as a family of 2. We flew from Birmingham to Detroit, Detroit to Seoul, South Korea, and then finally from Seoul to Bangkok, Thailand. And all along the way, precious friends wrote so many encouraging comments on our social media posts. Thank you all for cheering us on! We have never felt so loved and supported in our lives!

My sweet Mama Bear made me this shirt, and it seemed appropriate to wear it on the day we left to get our Baby Bear! Every time I saw myself in the mirror wearing it, I couldn't help but smile. I've never had anything that said "Mama" on it! And I was completely shameless all day on our travel day(s) - showing anyone and everyone pictures of our baby girl and letting them know we were on the way!

After 30+ hours of traveling, we finally landed in Bangkok at 12:40am (Sunday morning) took a 1.5 hour cab ride to our hotel in Pattaya, ate some mango and sticky rice, showered, and finally fell asleep around 6am.

Right now it's Monday evening for us (Thailand is 13 hours ahead of CST). We've spent the past 2 days trying to get over jet lag, emailing people about our final adoption approval, getting reacquainted with the city (so that we know where to find what we need once we have custody of Kate), and trying to enjoy our last few days that we'll ever have "just the two of us".

The view from our balcony in Pattaya!

We've slept (a lot), run errands, taken walks in the sunshine, had a quick stop at the beach, and enjoyed a one hour foot massage for only $6! We've also eaten plenty of mango and sticky rice, cheap, fresh sushi, banana rotees, and watermelon shakes.

Over the next few days, I hope to catch up on my blogging (so brace yourself for a lot of posts this week!) so that I can share everything I want to share here before we meet Kate. Once she's home, I plan to print out this blog for her - so I don't want to miss anything!

In the meantime - for those of you who are friends and family - don't forget to follow along on Instagram! I'll be posting blogs as often as I can, but I try to update my Facebook page and Instagram accounts daily. My username on Instagram is ErickaBJackson, Rusty's is RustyAJackson, and Kate's is MissKateJackson. If you follow Kate's account, you will have to be approved. (Her account is the only place we will be sharing photos of her face, due to specific regulations for Thai adoptions.) So for those of you with nicknames on Instagram (versus your given name) - be sure to shoot me a message letting me know who you are and how we know each other so that I can approve you!

The countdown is on! Just 3 days left (including today) until we meet Kate! ♥