Welcome Home Kate!

We are HOME with our beautiful daughter. 

We are finally home with her in our arms... and it still feels completely surreal! 

We left Chiang Mai, Thailand around midnight on Saturday night, December 17th - which was hard on our little girl who loves to sleep! Kate usually gets anywhere from 9-12 hours of sleep a night. Our first 5 hour flight was a rough one - with it being in the middle of the night, we had a very sleepy, fussy girl on our hands. She cried hysterically for the last hour - and we were so afraid the rest of the travel day would look the same way! But as soon as we got her out of the plane to play in the Seoul airport, she was our happy girl again! We ran around with her a LOT there, boarded our 13 hour flight to Atlanta, and she slept peacefully for 6-7 hours! She finished the flight by playing with the kiddos in front of us (they shared stickers back and forth through the seats for an hour. She is such a good sharer!) She even hugged them goodbye - it was precious!

When we landed in Atlanta, I started getting emotional. After the traumatic 5 year process we have been through - I could barely believe we were finally on US soil with our daughter!!! I got teary when we saw the US Immigration sign, and cried when we hit the customs line. Our adoption still won't be completely final for another 1-2 years (we still have to do post placement reports, finalization in the US, and finalization with the Thai consulate) - but having her here in America is such a HUGE step!!! She was fantastic through customs (we have such a great kid ya'll!), and was excited to let me change her into her cute Christmas PJ's before our final flight HOME!

I was not prepared for how emotional that last flight would be. Many of you who have been following our story on Instagram and Facebook know that Kate has been pushing me away a lot - sometimes all day, every day. It's been hard and heartbreaking. But it has slowly gotten better and better - and on our travel days we finally turned a corner! She finally started asking for me again - wanting to sit in my lap sometimes, and rarely pushed my hand away when I reached out to comfort her. She started the final flight on Rusty's lap, but once we took off she decided she wanted to sit with me!

What happened next felt like a dream. She got out my phone because she wanted to listen to music (this little girl loves music, loves to hear Mama sing, and has already started dancing and trying to sing along when she hears us play songs in English!) She especially loves worship songs. I turned on my playlist for our trip - which includes the song "Mine To Love" - our song for Kate's adoption.  Every time I have heard this song for the past 4 years - I have seen our little girl in my mind. A mini video would play in my head and heart each time I heard those words... of us meeting her for the first time... hugging and kissing her for the first time... hearing her giggle and seeing her smile... and of course, us coming home with her. Well, imagine my surprise when she took out the earbuds we'd given her, put one in my ear so that I could hear too, and happened to "skip" to the song, "Mine to Love". It came on just as we started our descent to Birmingham, and I could not hold back the tears. (Luckily, she was focused on the phone and couldn't see me crying!)

More than anything, I wanted to walk into our Airport Homecoming with my daughter in my arms. I've dreamed of that moment for years... but with her preferring Rusty so strongly, I just knew it wasn't going to happen. There have been a lot of times in this process that I felt like God was distant... but on this day, I was reminded that He is very present, and He is still a God of detail. Kate wanted Mama after the flight - and that's what she got! We rushed through the airport with butterflies in our stomachs, hearts beating faster than ever, and the biggest smiles on our faces! Kate hopped on the escalator holding Mama's hand (she wanted to ride it with her Pooh Bear!), and my darling little girl was in my arms when we ran into our parents' arms!

I am crying again as I type this blog and see these photos. More than anything I wanted to sit down and sob in that airport - tears of relief, JOY, and thanksgiving! But Kate has never seen me cry - and I didn't want to scare her when she was doing so well! So I let myself cry a little (as you can see in the photos below - I couldn't help but cry the moment I had my baby girl in my arms, and I had made it back to my mama's arms!), but I tried to hold back the tears (until I came home and truly let them go once I saw her playing happily in her beautiful room!)

[Introducing Kate to her Yaai and Dtah! (my parents)] 

[This was such a special moment! I'm so grateful my mom made it through her spinal surgery well 

and was able to be at the airport to meet her first grandchild! I couldn't hold back the tears!!!]

[Kate meeting some of her soon to be best friends - Piper, Karis, and Evie - as all her grandparents look on!]  

She was a total HAM at the airport - LOVING the attention, and putting on a show for everyone! Every time we counted "nung, song, sam!" (one, two, three!) for a photo she would throw her hand into the air and yell - "YAY!!!" It was hilarious! She loved meeting her family and friends (those who could make it) - just as long as she was in Mama or Papa's arms (which shows great attachment! We were really pleased to see that!) Towards the end when the crowd thinned out, she would run back and forth to me and Rusty and jump into our arms to be spun around. (I told ya'll - she loves to put on a show! Haha!) She is just so much fun!!!

[Kate with her Yaai & Dtah] 

[Kate with her Tutu and Pappy] 

[Kate meeting all her new friends! These babies have helped pray her home, and they were all SO excited!]

December 18th will always be a special day in this family! To everyone who came to welcome us at the airport (and to Heather who took these beautiful photos - and Kali who shot the video that we'll share here soon) - we can't thank you enough! We know this is a busy time of year, but it meant the world to us to see your smiling faces (and special signs!) when we came down that escalator! You gave us such a beautiful homecoming, and it is a memory that we will never forget. Thank you for being there to welcome Kate home at last!

And now, our "Happily Ever After" begins... ♥♥♥

* * * * * * *

I apologize that this update was delayed a few days, but our first few days home we were both deliriously happy - and delirious from exhaustion. Haha! A 26 hour travel day + jet lag with a 3 year old will really wear you out! Luckily we have an awesome little sleeper - she got 14 hours the first two nights home, and 9 hours the next two nights. These days we are sleeping when she sleeps though - because she insists we go to bed together (we are co-sleeping) which means we aren't getting much of anything done, but that's okay! We go to bed early, wake up early, and play with her all day every day. Our bags are still mostly packed, we have up minimal Christmas decorations (a barely decorated tree + stockings is it this year!), and we can't leave the house without her getting extremely upset (there is still fear that we won't come back!) - so our 2 trips out have had to be as a family of three. This is why "cocooning" is so important! She is still learning what it means to have a family! 

These first few days home we've been focused primarily on giving Kate as much attention as she wants. This is another big transition for her, and she's in a house with walls between us (she can't see us if she's in another room here - versus our time in Thailand where we were in studio style hotel rooms!) So we play a lot together wherever she wants to be, and we come running every time we hear "Mama! Papa!" so that she knows we're there! 

She is getting to know the neighborhood children and loving having playmates again! Right now she is outside riding her little pink tricycle with "Papa" and our neighbor friends - so I was able to sneak away and post this blog. Stay tuned for more updates (just as soon as I can slip away and write them!) We have so much we want to share about our beautiful little girl! 

Hello from Thailand!

Friends, please forgive me for the delayed update here on my blog! The past week held a lot of unexpected challenges that took so much of my time and attention. (Par for the course it seems with this adoption!) My plan was to update my blog with several things I've been waiting to share, and to post a blog the day before we left for Thailand - but it just wasn't possible. Instead, we spent hours and hours on the phone with 3 adoption agencies, US Immigration, and our State Senator's office trying to figure out why our final approval has been delayed. We made phone calls in the daytime and packed at night... and didn't go to bed at all the night before we left the country. I'll share more about that later - but right now I am thrilled to tell you that we are already in Thailand!

Our last day and night at home were filled with messages from friends, texts, phone calls (I'm so sorry that I couldn't reply to all of them - but every message meant so much to us!) and unexpected visits. One precious friend stopped by to give us a beautiful weighted blanket she made for Kate (thank you Katie! We love it!!!). Our across the street neighbors stopped to pray for us in their driveway, let us try out our Lillebaby Carrier on their kids, and gave us lots of goodbye hugs (Love you Anderson Fam!) And our next-door neighbors, The Clantons, came by with more hugs, more prayers, and the sweetest cards!

The oldest boy and girl (Harris and Margo) wrote part of their cards in Thai (they've been trying to learn Thai so they can talk to Kate!) and even included a donation of their own money for our "adoption fund". I cried reading their sweet cards, and cried again when they prayed for us on our back porch. We completely hit the jackpot with our neighbors you guys! They are like family to us. I can't even begin to explain all the ways they have loved and supported us through this process! And as you can see in the video below, Kate has some pretty excited playmates who cannot wait to meet her! (This is Piper and Olive - who are just 2 of the 13 kids on our block!)

We can't wait to meet Kate! from Rusty Jackson on Vimeo.

We flew out of Birmingham Friday morning at 6am. Because of all we'd been dealing with last week, I honestly didn't have time to let the significance of our travel day fully sink in. One of our mentors used to preach about how God doesn't do things quickly - but He does things SUDDENLY. I can definitely say this has been true in our case! After waiting, working, and praying for almost 5 years - I was shocked to find that our travel day was suddenly here! My parents dropped us off at the airport at 4am, and that's when I started to get emotional. Our bags were packed and we were on the way to our baby girl! It seemed so surreal!

I let the tears fall when our plane lifted off out of Birmingham. This was it - our last moment in our city as a family of 2. We flew from Birmingham to Detroit, Detroit to Seoul, South Korea, and then finally from Seoul to Bangkok, Thailand. And all along the way, precious friends wrote so many encouraging comments on our social media posts. Thank you all for cheering us on! We have never felt so loved and supported in our lives!

My sweet Mama Bear made me this shirt, and it seemed appropriate to wear it on the day we left to get our Baby Bear! Every time I saw myself in the mirror wearing it, I couldn't help but smile. I've never had anything that said "Mama" on it! And I was completely shameless all day on our travel day(s) - showing anyone and everyone pictures of our baby girl and letting them know we were on the way!

After 30+ hours of traveling, we finally landed in Bangkok at 12:40am (Sunday morning) took a 1.5 hour cab ride to our hotel in Pattaya, ate some mango and sticky rice, showered, and finally fell asleep around 6am.

Right now it's Monday evening for us (Thailand is 13 hours ahead of CST). We've spent the past 2 days trying to get over jet lag, emailing people about our final adoption approval, getting reacquainted with the city (so that we know where to find what we need once we have custody of Kate), and trying to enjoy our last few days that we'll ever have "just the two of us".

The view from our balcony in Pattaya!

We've slept (a lot), run errands, taken walks in the sunshine, had a quick stop at the beach, and enjoyed a one hour foot massage for only $6! We've also eaten plenty of mango and sticky rice, cheap, fresh sushi, banana rotees, and watermelon shakes.

Over the next few days, I hope to catch up on my blogging (so brace yourself for a lot of posts this week!) so that I can share everything I want to share here before we meet Kate. Once she's home, I plan to print out this blog for her - so I don't want to miss anything!

In the meantime - for those of you who are friends and family - don't forget to follow along on Instagram! I'll be posting blogs as often as I can, but I try to update my Facebook page and Instagram accounts daily. My username on Instagram is ErickaBJackson, Rusty's is RustyAJackson, and Kate's is MissKateJackson. If you follow Kate's account, you will have to be approved. (Her account is the only place we will be sharing photos of her face, due to specific regulations for Thai adoptions.) So for those of you with nicknames on Instagram (versus your given name) - be sure to shoot me a message letting me know who you are and how we know each other so that I can approve you!

The countdown is on! Just 3 days left (including today) until we meet Kate! ♥

We're Still Waiting

Wait, and then wait again. Isn’t this the way of life? Nowhere are we promised an easy time just because we obey or come to what we believe is a capital-A Answer. But our Father waits too—both with us and for us. His Word says that He longs to be gracious toward us and show us compassion and mercy (Isaiah 30:18). “His steadfast love endures forever,” through all things, all the time, just like the psalm says (Psalm 118) [SheReadsTruth.com]

I read this devotional about "Waiting As Obedience" a few weeks ago, and it really encouraged me. I read it again today because I needed to hear it all once more. As the author says, “Indefinite waiting is the worst kind of waiting”. So far we have waited 1,651 days for our daughter. Kate was alive and waiting for us for 1,316 of those days. And today - after all that waiting - we still have absolutely no idea when we’ll be allowed to go get her.

I have tried so hard to stay faithful during our long wait. Most days, I think I’ve done a pretty good job (of course not by my own strength at all - but only by the grace of God). But I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had some less than faithful days. There are times when all the grief, anger, and frustration catches up with me. I had one of those nights this week. I couldn’t hold back the tears, or the hard questions that grip my heart. I thought (and said) some things I’m not proud of. And unfortunately, I don’t know if any of my hard questions will ever be answered on this side of heaven.

But I do know that my daughter is worth every bit of grief, anger, sadness, frustration, and work that it has taken (and will take) to get her home. And I just keep holding on to that truth so that I don’t give up fighting for her. But today… fighting looks a lot like waiting. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting. I’ve found that the longer you sit in “the waiting room”, the easier it is for bitterness to find you. I’m trying hard to fight that today… to not let bitterness take root in my heart. 

I don’t have any big teachable moment to share with you today… or any kind of revolutionary encouragement. All I have is a little bit of honesty for where we are. We are still working to prepare for our daughter - in FAITH that she is coming home. This week we hung the gallery wall in her room, picked up her glider, and soon we will finish her bed. We are continuing to “prepare the field for rain”… even when it feels like we’re in a drought and we just can’t see any clouds. I think sometimes, that's what "waiting with obedience" looks like. Just continuing to put one foot in front of the other. Continuing to prepare for your miracle, even when you doubt it will come. Continuing to be faithful even when you don't feel faithful.

Our hearts were completely convinced that we got approval on August 3rd. We had SO much peace that that was “our day” -  but sadly our agency never delivered that news. There was another Thailand Adoption Board meeting last night. So the next few days we will muster up another round of hopeful expectation - just waiting on a phone call or email with good news of an approval. But I would be lying if I said it wasn’t getting harder and harder to muster up that hope. My heart is weary this week. Would you pray for renewed hope and faith for me? Would you also pray for redemption for our story? 

"In your waiting place, cling to the hope that God will not leave our stories unfinished or unredeemed. They may not look how we expected but, as with Ruth and Naomi, our story is His story. We can wait with hope, and we can trust and obey with confidence. Thanks be to God.” [SheReadsTruth.com]

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